.........Home Grown With Love
Friday, January 3, 2014
Be Better. Do Better.
2014.
A clean slate. A new you. A clear drawn line between the yesterdays of 2013 and the today of 2014.
The part we all seem to forget when starting anew is that all of who we are actually are built upon the foundations of the years before us. Ahead of us may contain all of our dreams, hopes, and wishes, but our pasts hold who we are.
In 2013 my youngest turned one, had his first steps, said his first words, and learned how to blow kisses. I went back to work after being a stay at home Mom for 7 years! I watched my oldest (7 yr old) turn slowly out of Disney Jr and more into the Cartoon network. I watched my daughter (4 yr old) in awe of meeting real princesses at Disney World, and spend hours upon hours of acting such a life out in her dress up wear. I watched the community in live in turn towards hope and kindness. I met new friends, and let go of some old that didn't quite fit into the puzzle. I grew tremendously as an adult. And most importantly... I grew closer to God. Surely there were some hard times too, but it would be shameful of me to turn my back on 2013 and say I no longer have use for you now. As it has made me who I am to stand into the start of 2014.
Recently I was teaching a class filled with middle school students that are up against a lot in this world. We discussed the importance of goals, and self-esteem. My entire purpose of this lesson wasn't about "look in the mirror and tell yourself 5 great things about you", it was more about defining who you are, and that you and only you have the right to choose that. If you let the world decide, you are leading yourself into failure. There will always be nay sayers.
I shared with them my own examples in life. How a guidance counselor in high school told me I would never make it to college and I shouldn't bother applying (to his defense I was in fact a C student but I was a community activist and knew that I was more than my learning disabilities). How my high school social worker said I had not business being a social worker (I think this was said because I was doing more for the community as a high school student then she was as a hired social worker and it made her look a certain way). How a college professor pulled me aside and told me, "It must be nice you made it to college because you are white and cute. However honey white and cute won't cut it here. You should hire someone to translate your papers into proper English since I'm sure you have the money to do so".
The students gasped at the last one. They envisioned how hurt I was from such racial comments. That I must of felt so bad, and that it would've impacted me in a way that would've made me second guess my ability to succeed. They were surprised that it actually did the opposite. All of these stories fueled me. I refused to let ANYONE say I couldn't do something or be something. As my life was my own. I would decide that.
And so this C student that should've never went to college, become a social worker, and only did so because she was "white and cute"--proved them ALL wrong. Two decades later I hold two masters degree's with 4.0 averages, and I have already seen why my time of being such a passionate community activist in high school helped to make me an effective social worker.
The students asked me advice on how to overcome what other's deemed to be their limits. My advice was easy-- Be better. Do better. Take all those limited expectations others have for you and blow them out of the water. Use such negativity to fuel your fire towards the positive.
So this 2014 that is exactly what I plan to do. What I have always done. Be better. Do better. Using the previous years as stepping stones leading toward whatever I am ultimately meant to do in this world. While in between enjoying the children I was told I would never have, the friends I have made that truly support me, and loving the husband that always believed what I could do in this world is limitless.
Be better. Do Better.
It is that simple.
A clean slate. A new you. A clear drawn line between the yesterdays of 2013 and the today of 2014.
The part we all seem to forget when starting anew is that all of who we are actually are built upon the foundations of the years before us. Ahead of us may contain all of our dreams, hopes, and wishes, but our pasts hold who we are.
In 2013 my youngest turned one, had his first steps, said his first words, and learned how to blow kisses. I went back to work after being a stay at home Mom for 7 years! I watched my oldest (7 yr old) turn slowly out of Disney Jr and more into the Cartoon network. I watched my daughter (4 yr old) in awe of meeting real princesses at Disney World, and spend hours upon hours of acting such a life out in her dress up wear. I watched the community in live in turn towards hope and kindness. I met new friends, and let go of some old that didn't quite fit into the puzzle. I grew tremendously as an adult. And most importantly... I grew closer to God. Surely there were some hard times too, but it would be shameful of me to turn my back on 2013 and say I no longer have use for you now. As it has made me who I am to stand into the start of 2014.
Recently I was teaching a class filled with middle school students that are up against a lot in this world. We discussed the importance of goals, and self-esteem. My entire purpose of this lesson wasn't about "look in the mirror and tell yourself 5 great things about you", it was more about defining who you are, and that you and only you have the right to choose that. If you let the world decide, you are leading yourself into failure. There will always be nay sayers.
I shared with them my own examples in life. How a guidance counselor in high school told me I would never make it to college and I shouldn't bother applying (to his defense I was in fact a C student but I was a community activist and knew that I was more than my learning disabilities). How my high school social worker said I had not business being a social worker (I think this was said because I was doing more for the community as a high school student then she was as a hired social worker and it made her look a certain way). How a college professor pulled me aside and told me, "It must be nice you made it to college because you are white and cute. However honey white and cute won't cut it here. You should hire someone to translate your papers into proper English since I'm sure you have the money to do so".
The students gasped at the last one. They envisioned how hurt I was from such racial comments. That I must of felt so bad, and that it would've impacted me in a way that would've made me second guess my ability to succeed. They were surprised that it actually did the opposite. All of these stories fueled me. I refused to let ANYONE say I couldn't do something or be something. As my life was my own. I would decide that.
And so this C student that should've never went to college, become a social worker, and only did so because she was "white and cute"--proved them ALL wrong. Two decades later I hold two masters degree's with 4.0 averages, and I have already seen why my time of being such a passionate community activist in high school helped to make me an effective social worker.
The students asked me advice on how to overcome what other's deemed to be their limits. My advice was easy-- Be better. Do better. Take all those limited expectations others have for you and blow them out of the water. Use such negativity to fuel your fire towards the positive.
So this 2014 that is exactly what I plan to do. What I have always done. Be better. Do better. Using the previous years as stepping stones leading toward whatever I am ultimately meant to do in this world. While in between enjoying the children I was told I would never have, the friends I have made that truly support me, and loving the husband that always believed what I could do in this world is limitless.
Be better. Do Better.
It is that simple.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
And So The Story Goes...
It is creeping up on us. It's almost been a year.
Just when you think the world has learned from such anguish and pain, there is another public place or school in lock-down. There are more mental health concerns unnoticed or not spoken about, and more victims in the ground.
I took my new job not knowing the connection it had to the former principal of Sandy Hook. One day I was filing something in the main office and saw her face in a frame. She had once been the principal of this school as well. This became really significant to me.
Sure as a community surrounding that school it had personally inflicted so much trauma, and ripped so much of our communal innocence away. Suddenly we were afraid to be teachers, afraid to send our kids to school, and looking suspiciously in each others eyes full of worry.
I have, in the almost 11 months, tackled the fact it could have been my first grader just miles away. I grappled the weird conversations with people that knew the victims, or had kids that survived that day. Every twist and turn of the almost year that has gone by has revealed another connection. We live to close not to be connected.
So this building that I now call my second home, once was hers too. It also held her husband who taught years here. I think about her every time I walk into the present principals office. I think about the fact that we all start somewhere, and we all move on elsewhere eventually. Who would have thought being a teacher or a principal would ever put you on the front line? Who would have thought that someone that used to sit at that same desk that I print from daily, or ate lunch in that same teachers room-gave her life that day with a large attempt to save others. And so now, every time I file something in that main office, I look at that picture and I thank her for this reality. We all have no idea what we are made of until we are pressed to use it.
I am pleased to go to a conference that is not only in memory of one of the victims, but is based upon the greater good of prevention. How can we help to make this NOT happen again in our communities? How can we advocate, and deal with crisis before it's a crippling crisis.
I have wondered a thousand times how I could give back. How can I help these loving families grieve? They can only eat so many casseroles, and hear so many "I'm sorry's". What about using what I got? I got my degree, and the ability to help others in a school setting. I have the ability to advocate, analyze, and address things that main be concerning before they are a concern. I have the ability to help by being the beforehand.
There hasn't been a day I haven't thought of those little faces, or the brave adult ones. Not a day I haven't thought of the fact that my day might feel bad, but those parents got out of bed today was a victory. Just as the world has expected for everyone to move on, and those in the trenches have tried hard to-- it is seemingly harder again.
I was reminded at a staff meeting where I am still getting to know others working in this district how entrenched and creatively weaved we are all in this together. I listened to the story of this brave social worker who went to find her own child that day in the firehouse, and did. However, she went on to stay, and happened to be the one who made that dreadful list of missing names that not one of us would ever imagine having to do. My heart cried and wailed for her.
There are so many stories. To many stories. And just when you thought you heard them all, there is another. Just when you think you have seen all the pictures you would ever see in the world about this, there is one smiling at you sitting above the filing cabinet at work.
Just when you think the world has learned from such anguish and pain, there is another public place or school in lock-down. There are more mental health concerns unnoticed or not spoken about, and more victims in the ground.
I took my new job not knowing the connection it had to the former principal of Sandy Hook. One day I was filing something in the main office and saw her face in a frame. She had once been the principal of this school as well. This became really significant to me.
Sure as a community surrounding that school it had personally inflicted so much trauma, and ripped so much of our communal innocence away. Suddenly we were afraid to be teachers, afraid to send our kids to school, and looking suspiciously in each others eyes full of worry.
I have, in the almost 11 months, tackled the fact it could have been my first grader just miles away. I grappled the weird conversations with people that knew the victims, or had kids that survived that day. Every twist and turn of the almost year that has gone by has revealed another connection. We live to close not to be connected.
So this building that I now call my second home, once was hers too. It also held her husband who taught years here. I think about her every time I walk into the present principals office. I think about the fact that we all start somewhere, and we all move on elsewhere eventually. Who would have thought being a teacher or a principal would ever put you on the front line? Who would have thought that someone that used to sit at that same desk that I print from daily, or ate lunch in that same teachers room-gave her life that day with a large attempt to save others. And so now, every time I file something in that main office, I look at that picture and I thank her for this reality. We all have no idea what we are made of until we are pressed to use it.
I am pleased to go to a conference that is not only in memory of one of the victims, but is based upon the greater good of prevention. How can we help to make this NOT happen again in our communities? How can we advocate, and deal with crisis before it's a crippling crisis.
I have wondered a thousand times how I could give back. How can I help these loving families grieve? They can only eat so many casseroles, and hear so many "I'm sorry's". What about using what I got? I got my degree, and the ability to help others in a school setting. I have the ability to advocate, analyze, and address things that main be concerning before they are a concern. I have the ability to help by being the beforehand.
There hasn't been a day I haven't thought of those little faces, or the brave adult ones. Not a day I haven't thought of the fact that my day might feel bad, but those parents got out of bed today was a victory. Just as the world has expected for everyone to move on, and those in the trenches have tried hard to-- it is seemingly harder again.
I was reminded at a staff meeting where I am still getting to know others working in this district how entrenched and creatively weaved we are all in this together. I listened to the story of this brave social worker who went to find her own child that day in the firehouse, and did. However, she went on to stay, and happened to be the one who made that dreadful list of missing names that not one of us would ever imagine having to do. My heart cried and wailed for her.
There are so many stories. To many stories. And just when you thought you heard them all, there is another. Just when you think you have seen all the pictures you would ever see in the world about this, there is one smiling at you sitting above the filing cabinet at work.
Monday, October 7, 2013
Parenting In Social Media
Growing up in today's society is more pressure then my generation could ever imagine thanks to social media. I keep watching the middle schoolers in the lunch room taking selfies and wondering how all of the pics they take and put on Instagram/Twitter/Facebook could have an impact on their safety, confidence, and future.
It is hard enough being a kid. There isn't anything knew about wearing the "right" pair of sneakers, having a awkward body, trying to fit in, and getting over being out of your comfort zone. These are all things that have been demonstrated throughout generations. Social media's impact however, is a new game. A scary, scary game.
I understand how we are moving to more technology, and pushing our schools to demonstrate learning through it. However, it frightens me that kids have so much accessibility to not only those who know them, but also to those that don't.
Recently, while speaking to a Mom who has a middle schooler, she told me about her daughter wanting to text. She put down strict rules of monitoring her texts, and who she was able to text. Although the transition went smoothly, I kept thinking how hard it is as a Mom to open that door. Let's be honest, if we were to monitor all of our kids online activity it would end up being a full-time job. I just couldn't comprehend opening that door, trusting your kid, and praying they are safe. The only thing I could compare that fear to when I was growing up is parents letting kids go to parties with possible alcohol and hoping their kid made right choices. Similar-yes-- but the part of the Internet letting the world in scares me.
What will my kids future employer think when they google my kids name and see's selfies, tweets, etc, that depict my child is a certain way that is less then pleasing? How can I be sure the selfie my daughter took in her bikini someday doesn't end up in the hands of a sicko that can read the location it was taken and find her? How do I know that my child isn't being bullied or bullying another peer when it is so easy so say words on the Internet then in person? And what about these cutesy groups kids are creating -like "tap a titty Tuesday" at schools across the nation? Can we please go back to passing notes and using the good ol' telephone strapped to the wall so that adult can monitor content?
Yep. That's me sounding like a grandma. I'm just scared what is to come in a few years. A lot of these worries are creeping up on me when I see the kids at their lockers in middle school and hear the things they are saying. It is an entirely different time, playing by entirely different rules. I can never say "When I was your age I experienced the same thing"-- because the world didn't have access to me and my immature choices of putting out certain things to the world that could come back to haunt me.
I just keep praying I will know how to monitor, and keep them safe. That my kids will know better and do better. That my Mom worry is full of emptiness, and that they learn to live in a world of technology unharmed. I pray they will still know how to spend quality time with people, that they know how to build rich friendships/relationships in real time, that they use the phone, write cards/letters, and while at dinner speak with those they are eating with while not caught up on Facebook with what someone else is eating.
The lesson of technology is a hard one. We want our kids to be educated on it. We want them to be scholars. However, what price is it paying ultimately on our kids as social human beings. Will they know how to seize the moment? Will they know how to drive without a gps? Travel without someone being able to get ahold of them right there right now? Does the world-- heck do I--need to know what and where they are every second of every day?
Clearly I adore social media. Clearly I lack at some of the things I hope my kids don't do. The difference being, I am a mature adult who knows how to navigate between right and wrong. I am not naive to the way the world works. And I just want to keep them safe.
It is hard enough being a kid. There isn't anything knew about wearing the "right" pair of sneakers, having a awkward body, trying to fit in, and getting over being out of your comfort zone. These are all things that have been demonstrated throughout generations. Social media's impact however, is a new game. A scary, scary game.
I understand how we are moving to more technology, and pushing our schools to demonstrate learning through it. However, it frightens me that kids have so much accessibility to not only those who know them, but also to those that don't.
Recently, while speaking to a Mom who has a middle schooler, she told me about her daughter wanting to text. She put down strict rules of monitoring her texts, and who she was able to text. Although the transition went smoothly, I kept thinking how hard it is as a Mom to open that door. Let's be honest, if we were to monitor all of our kids online activity it would end up being a full-time job. I just couldn't comprehend opening that door, trusting your kid, and praying they are safe. The only thing I could compare that fear to when I was growing up is parents letting kids go to parties with possible alcohol and hoping their kid made right choices. Similar-yes-- but the part of the Internet letting the world in scares me.
What will my kids future employer think when they google my kids name and see's selfies, tweets, etc, that depict my child is a certain way that is less then pleasing? How can I be sure the selfie my daughter took in her bikini someday doesn't end up in the hands of a sicko that can read the location it was taken and find her? How do I know that my child isn't being bullied or bullying another peer when it is so easy so say words on the Internet then in person? And what about these cutesy groups kids are creating -like "tap a titty Tuesday" at schools across the nation? Can we please go back to passing notes and using the good ol' telephone strapped to the wall so that adult can monitor content?
Yep. That's me sounding like a grandma. I'm just scared what is to come in a few years. A lot of these worries are creeping up on me when I see the kids at their lockers in middle school and hear the things they are saying. It is an entirely different time, playing by entirely different rules. I can never say "When I was your age I experienced the same thing"-- because the world didn't have access to me and my immature choices of putting out certain things to the world that could come back to haunt me.
I just keep praying I will know how to monitor, and keep them safe. That my kids will know better and do better. That my Mom worry is full of emptiness, and that they learn to live in a world of technology unharmed. I pray they will still know how to spend quality time with people, that they know how to build rich friendships/relationships in real time, that they use the phone, write cards/letters, and while at dinner speak with those they are eating with while not caught up on Facebook with what someone else is eating.
The lesson of technology is a hard one. We want our kids to be educated on it. We want them to be scholars. However, what price is it paying ultimately on our kids as social human beings. Will they know how to seize the moment? Will they know how to drive without a gps? Travel without someone being able to get ahold of them right there right now? Does the world-- heck do I--need to know what and where they are every second of every day?
Clearly I adore social media. Clearly I lack at some of the things I hope my kids don't do. The difference being, I am a mature adult who knows how to navigate between right and wrong. I am not naive to the way the world works. And I just want to keep them safe.
Friday, September 27, 2013
TGIF
When your baby is crying because he has a 103 fever, aching, and saying "Momma", you sort want to stay home.
I knew the day would come where it wasn't all rainbows and sunshine. I knew the Mom guilt would come one day, but not so soon. I couldn't stay home when I had so much going on at work, and have only been there for a month.
I cried all the way to work. I felt like a failure as a Mom. A sell out. The poor kid wanted him Momma-not any other family member.
I made it through the important stuff that luckily transpired in the morning. Lucky for me I work with a lot of Moms that understood why I was so heart broken. After calling home to check in and learn that he was still upset, I couldn't sit in my office any longer. My first unexpected 1/2 day was about to happen.
I went home and put on the yoga pants, and cozied on the sofa with him. I know three hours of his life that he didn't have me while sick wouldn't be memorable to him, but it would be to me. You see for the other two kids there hasn't been a moment of sickness they didn't get to have Mom. This poor child now has to fight for me with my job.
Everything comes with balance. I am sure it will get easier with time. It is hard to want it all on your own terms. Life just doesn't seem to work that way.
It has been an incredibly challenging week this week. As the baby got better, I started to get sick. I pressed on, while trying to muster up the energy to do my job accurately. I stayed positive as much as I could. I poured every ounce of me out in our to make it to this day. FRIDAY!
The hard part I will struggle with this weekend is wanting to do fun things with my kids, while trying to recuperate for Monday. I am beyond exhausted not only from sickness, but emotionally. I have poured, and poured, and left literally on empty. I'm hoping that a little bit of sleeping in and some warm cozy clothes will be enough to fix it.
In the past, when I was a working women minus the family, I was able to recuperate by having every night, and every evening free to do as I please. Now that time is filled with putting on the Mom hat, and figuring out how to be great at BOTH! The trick is to figure out how to be both without guilt.
I knew the day would come where it wasn't all rainbows and sunshine. I knew the Mom guilt would come one day, but not so soon. I couldn't stay home when I had so much going on at work, and have only been there for a month.
I cried all the way to work. I felt like a failure as a Mom. A sell out. The poor kid wanted him Momma-not any other family member.
I made it through the important stuff that luckily transpired in the morning. Lucky for me I work with a lot of Moms that understood why I was so heart broken. After calling home to check in and learn that he was still upset, I couldn't sit in my office any longer. My first unexpected 1/2 day was about to happen.
I went home and put on the yoga pants, and cozied on the sofa with him. I know three hours of his life that he didn't have me while sick wouldn't be memorable to him, but it would be to me. You see for the other two kids there hasn't been a moment of sickness they didn't get to have Mom. This poor child now has to fight for me with my job.
Everything comes with balance. I am sure it will get easier with time. It is hard to want it all on your own terms. Life just doesn't seem to work that way.
It has been an incredibly challenging week this week. As the baby got better, I started to get sick. I pressed on, while trying to muster up the energy to do my job accurately. I stayed positive as much as I could. I poured every ounce of me out in our to make it to this day. FRIDAY!
The hard part I will struggle with this weekend is wanting to do fun things with my kids, while trying to recuperate for Monday. I am beyond exhausted not only from sickness, but emotionally. I have poured, and poured, and left literally on empty. I'm hoping that a little bit of sleeping in and some warm cozy clothes will be enough to fix it.
In the past, when I was a working women minus the family, I was able to recuperate by having every night, and every evening free to do as I please. Now that time is filled with putting on the Mom hat, and figuring out how to be great at BOTH! The trick is to figure out how to be both without guilt.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
9/11
I can remember that day clearly.
My innocence was peeled back. It is funny when you are talking about innocence when you are in your mid-twenties being lost. Up until this point certain things in life I was no longer naive about, but never in am million years did I think as a grown adult I would learn I was limited to my thinking in a grander more evil way.
I know I am not alone in this feeling, on this day, as I am pretty sure even the elderly felt ripped of the innocence they had assumed they would exit this world with in tact.
9/11 changed everything.
Our American soil. Our thousands of people. Our city. Our hero's. Our planes. Our buildings. Our skylines. Our families. Our hearts. All cost by deliberate, well calculated evil.
It was hard for me to grasp as a social worker at that time who was on the front line trying to make a difference in the world, how in fact people would be so malicious towards a bunch of innocent people. I kept thinking of the young lives that had started their career that ended that day. The parents with young kids at home, some unborn, that didn't make it home. How, on this loving earth, could anyone dream of 2 American commercial jetliners crashing directly into two massive buildings. A place I had lived for years, and loved on with all of my heart. Two buildings I had weeks before stood in front of admiring their beauty and moved to take photos that would last in my dining room forever not for their beauty but for their legacy.
A few months ago I was blessed to go down to the memorial alone. I stood in the same spot that once held the large globe signifying its grounds. Instead of the beautiful buildings that once stood there, huge massive, beautiful crafted holes now are there. Holes that are filled to the brim with names. Names of people that were loved and cherished, and didn't deserve that day to be their last.
It is an honor to always be able to say I lived in New York City. My heart will hold it until the day comes that it is my last. My prayers today, while standing in the halls of my new social work job during a moment of silence, is may those grieving be lifted. May this day never be forgotten. May we see more love than evil.
I want to grow that innocence back for our country.
My innocence was peeled back. It is funny when you are talking about innocence when you are in your mid-twenties being lost. Up until this point certain things in life I was no longer naive about, but never in am million years did I think as a grown adult I would learn I was limited to my thinking in a grander more evil way.
I know I am not alone in this feeling, on this day, as I am pretty sure even the elderly felt ripped of the innocence they had assumed they would exit this world with in tact.
9/11 changed everything.
Our American soil. Our thousands of people. Our city. Our hero's. Our planes. Our buildings. Our skylines. Our families. Our hearts. All cost by deliberate, well calculated evil.
It was hard for me to grasp as a social worker at that time who was on the front line trying to make a difference in the world, how in fact people would be so malicious towards a bunch of innocent people. I kept thinking of the young lives that had started their career that ended that day. The parents with young kids at home, some unborn, that didn't make it home. How, on this loving earth, could anyone dream of 2 American commercial jetliners crashing directly into two massive buildings. A place I had lived for years, and loved on with all of my heart. Two buildings I had weeks before stood in front of admiring their beauty and moved to take photos that would last in my dining room forever not for their beauty but for their legacy.
A few months ago I was blessed to go down to the memorial alone. I stood in the same spot that once held the large globe signifying its grounds. Instead of the beautiful buildings that once stood there, huge massive, beautiful crafted holes now are there. Holes that are filled to the brim with names. Names of people that were loved and cherished, and didn't deserve that day to be their last.
It is an honor to always be able to say I lived in New York City. My heart will hold it until the day comes that it is my last. My prayers today, while standing in the halls of my new social work job during a moment of silence, is may those grieving be lifted. May this day never be forgotten. May we see more love than evil.
I want to grow that innocence back for our country.
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Feeling Blessed
Being a stay at home Mom is extremely challenging. It is hard to be Mom 24/7. It is hard to pour all of who you are into little people that have high needs of change me, feed me, hug me. It is hard to seek out who you truly are while being Mom all day everyday. Especially when you had a well defined self image prior to motherhood.
Two weeks in of being a working Mom I have already learned an abundance about who exactly I am. Many things I had forgotten about, and some I never knew.
What I didn't realize while being a stay at home Mom was that although I loved the time spent with my children, I was depressed. When I woke up to every day being the same, wearing the same yoga pants, listening to the same gossip, and filling up my time by the minute with things and people that sometimes didn't exactly matter much. I adore shedding the ability to be sucked in to high school momma drama (and MAN is there so much when you are home everyday being social). I love having limited time for things/people that matter. I love dressing up while missing my yoga pants for the weekend. I am spending a significantly less amount of money. And....yes! I have lost 5 pounds since working! Why? because I have no time to eat my day away or spend money on random bored trips to Target or the grocery store.
Obviously I get this is not what ALL stay at home Mom's do or feel, but for me it was a black hole I got stuck in for way, way to long. Ideally, looking back, I should've spent the first year with each child, and the time between worked. Seven years was just way to long when I had defined myself as a life learner, and career women for years and years prior. I truly forgot I could talk in a professional manner that had nothing to do with the color of baby poop. I forgot that people actually cared where I went for my graduate degrees, or worked, or lived. As Mom's we tend to only focus on that. Our conversations never wander to what makes us who we are other then our kids or our spouse. Hallelujah I am much much more then that. AND I FORGOT!
There will be days I will absolutely loathe going to work I am sure. Times I envy those sweet days of seeing friends with an open calendar. It is life. Although the grass is usually always greener on the other side--I got to say this field I am standing on is the best color green right now with just the right amount of light.
I have learned volumes--book worthy of information from being home for so long. I am so very grateful to my husband that let me take the time to love on our children. I am equally grateful for this new opportunity with a commute I could walk to, a job I actually am good at, a baby sitter that is AMAZING and an end of the day time of 2:45 so I am still able to enjoy my kids. I never ever miss my oldest getting off the bus! On so many levels this was the best decision we have made in a long long time.
It is a true blessing when you feel like all the stars are alined and you are exactly where you are meant to be. It is also a blessing when the entire family has adjusted without any major challenges, and all seem equally as happy.
We are blessed.
Two weeks in of being a working Mom I have already learned an abundance about who exactly I am. Many things I had forgotten about, and some I never knew.
What I didn't realize while being a stay at home Mom was that although I loved the time spent with my children, I was depressed. When I woke up to every day being the same, wearing the same yoga pants, listening to the same gossip, and filling up my time by the minute with things and people that sometimes didn't exactly matter much. I adore shedding the ability to be sucked in to high school momma drama (and MAN is there so much when you are home everyday being social). I love having limited time for things/people that matter. I love dressing up while missing my yoga pants for the weekend. I am spending a significantly less amount of money. And....yes! I have lost 5 pounds since working! Why? because I have no time to eat my day away or spend money on random bored trips to Target or the grocery store.
Obviously I get this is not what ALL stay at home Mom's do or feel, but for me it was a black hole I got stuck in for way, way to long. Ideally, looking back, I should've spent the first year with each child, and the time between worked. Seven years was just way to long when I had defined myself as a life learner, and career women for years and years prior. I truly forgot I could talk in a professional manner that had nothing to do with the color of baby poop. I forgot that people actually cared where I went for my graduate degrees, or worked, or lived. As Mom's we tend to only focus on that. Our conversations never wander to what makes us who we are other then our kids or our spouse. Hallelujah I am much much more then that. AND I FORGOT!
There will be days I will absolutely loathe going to work I am sure. Times I envy those sweet days of seeing friends with an open calendar. It is life. Although the grass is usually always greener on the other side--I got to say this field I am standing on is the best color green right now with just the right amount of light.
I have learned volumes--book worthy of information from being home for so long. I am so very grateful to my husband that let me take the time to love on our children. I am equally grateful for this new opportunity with a commute I could walk to, a job I actually am good at, a baby sitter that is AMAZING and an end of the day time of 2:45 so I am still able to enjoy my kids. I never ever miss my oldest getting off the bus! On so many levels this was the best decision we have made in a long long time.
It is a true blessing when you feel like all the stars are alined and you are exactly where you are meant to be. It is also a blessing when the entire family has adjusted without any major challenges, and all seem equally as happy.
We are blessed.
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