Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Someone is stinken up the place!

Our lil stinker!


OH $%#$ There is a SKUNK in our backyard




Something SMELLS


Which is worse...a skunk or a devil?


Even a skunk needs a little down time for a snack


All of my NON stinken friends (unless we are talking about diapers)


looking out the windown for possible people to "spray"

Sunday, October 28, 2007

A day at Blue Jay Orchards

This is the happiest I have seen my son...I think EVER. He giggled and squealed with delight as we ran around Blue Jay Orchards with his little friends. (see other pics of our day on www.ctmommas.blogspot.com)

A hot date for TWO

We had to make a early 11am lunch date for this couple at Uno's.

Who wouldn't want a cute Blondie date that can color?


And nothing says hot date late a man with a bib and a sippy cup

This is how I "roll"

This is Rylan's new obsession. I had to take pictures before scolding him! :-)




Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Can someone tell my boss I need a BREAK

Although my BOSS man is only about 3 feet tall..he is a MOODY and Mighty little soul. Sure I choose this job as "At Home Mom"..but sometimes...like any other job...it STINKS. This boss is demanding lately. I know I know,...poor kid has an ear infection and all...but YOU spend the day with my WHINEY CRYING DESTRUCTIVE boy and you will be complaining to the union in NO time. I beg an plead...please just sleep another hour, please eat your dinner without throwing in on the floor, please don't destroy everything you see, and please please please give the whining a break. A break...MOMMY NEEDS A FREAKEN BREAK.
Let me fill you in on why I say this...a break down of yesturday:
1. took a nap at 10am -12 noon but no 2nd nap which makes him CRANKY
2. Went outside and took out all of the sand out of his sand and water table and then screamed when I took him inside
3. Went to mom's group at 2pm and that bugger did everything he WASN'T supposed to do like: put cookies down the central air vents, take moss out of house plants, throw things on glass, push his pals, and cry and whine. UGHHHHHHHHHH
Needless to say when Pete came through the door I WAS DONE...clocked out and had hopes for a better day with the boss.
Today is better...I took him to the Mall to keep him busy until noon so I can attempt to get him on a better nap plan...so I am awaiting results of this plan.
I hope the boss is calm.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Kayden is HERE (well in Bermuda ..here)



Our FANTASTIC friends in Bermuda Kim and Zaine have welcomed another angel to earth!
Kayden Allende Bolin (middle name pronounced A-un-day) born Fri Oct 19 at 5:51 pm 7lbs 4oz. 20 inches.

He gave his parents a run for their money at first..but are now home safe and sound. We can NOT wait to meet the new edition.
Big sister (my beautiful God daughter) Zayla is adjusting well and helping to take care of her brother.

We could be more happy for you guys and love you lots!

My son the smoker

Rylan has been hacking lately like he has just smoked a pack of smokes. At his 15 month visit a few weeks ago the Dr said it was "just a cold"...but it got progressively nasty. Poor kid has since puked when he gets in hacking fits. So I brought him in last night...BAD MOVE. DAH...Aimee...it is Monday when EVERYONE is going in from their kids getting sick over the weekend. We waited for 2 and 1/2 hours in the examination room to be seen. Can you imagine...stuck in a tiny little room with a toddler! YIKES. Luckily Pete met us in there on his way home...however I am sure he wished he never came up with this "great idea" when the hours passed by and no Dr. When she finally came in she took a look at him and saw that his ears are yet again filled with icky fluid and on their way to a disaster. She also heard his hacking and she said since they don't give kids his age cold medicine we would have to resort to the good ol' saline and humidifier. He is also on the "bubble gum" antibiotics which he USED to love...but like a typical toddler decided he no longer does. Sadly I had to pin him down and let him scream...luckily this allowed for an opening in his mouth that I could shove it down. I felt bad but hey....the kid has GOT to take his meds or his ears will be progressively nasty. This is just a sign that the "cold flu" season has begun (might not feel like it outside however!).

Sunday, October 21, 2007

A Weekend in Rhody

Christian shows Rylan how to blow bubbles


Where are the bubbles going?


Big Boy Christian and Rylan


Ava at the Rue


Rylan looking a Mommy through the window at the Rue



This weekend was a busy, tiresome BLAST!
Our weekend started with a LONG drive to RI! Which included a lovely hydro-plane that made us spin around on the highway and luckily landed on some grass. It scared us parents...but Rylan giggled and thought it was funny. The normal 3 hour trip was a 5 hour one...UGH...this would normally not be fun with or without a child...but it was especially hard with a often screaming one in traffic. We got to Kelly's house it such great spirits!
Now for the reason we were in town...besides the fact we hadn't been there in MONTHS and wanted to see family...IT WAS CHRISTINA'S SURPRISE 30TH BIRTHDAY!!!! As most know this is my BFF and we are on the phone EVERY DAY ..and we could talk for hours...(we both could talk a dog off a meat truck ---EASY). So you can imagine how hard it was for me to "pretend" I wasn't seeing her this weekend when CLEARLY I was. Every time I get the chance to hang out with her it reminds me how much fun she is and wish she lived closer (ps. Christina is reading this and we are BEGGING her and the fam to move to CT! Please...pretty please). Anyway the party was great, and of course perfect food at PF CHANGS and a beautiful homemade cake that makes you weak in the knees.
While visiting Christina and singing Happy Birthday...Rylan was staying in RI with his Auntie Kelly. When I called her for a recap she informed me Rylan was FULL of character he:
1. decided to use the spoon to brush his hair and it was FULL of applesauce
2. Got out of the bath tub and cracked himself up so much that he pee's and threw up at the same time all over Auntie Kelly's VERY white bathroom rug (that is now a light yellow)
3. After he got his PJ's on he decided he found the perfect seat in the house... THE DOG BOWL filled with water
4. After Auntie Kelly changed his pants and put him to bed..she check on him later and found the pants on the floor..Rylan decided he didn't was the freaken pants and whipped them off and flung them OVER the side of the play pen!
We ended out weekend with a YUMMY brunch at the Rue, and then went to visit Auntie Diana and Christian. Rylan loved watching a big boy in action!
The ride home was fantastic...a quick pit stop to Ocean State Job Lot and McDonald's, and then a quick ride home with a SLEEPING baby!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Monday, October 15, 2007

What's the story

First here is a story of a man, his couch, and his tv!









In the midst of my haze of loss I have forgotten to include in this blog anything else that is going on. So here is the skinny on the Dos Santos household.

Last week Rylan had his 15 month appointment. He is 23.5 lbs and is 32 inches long! He took his shots like a man this time...in his arm and barely winked. He hated the Dr. as he should because the guy was such a prick to his mother. I was so aggravated. Dr Golenbock is moody...sometimes he is great and singing to my kid and others he is just plain out nasty and out to make you feel like the worst parent in the world. He basically yelled at me about Rylans pacifier and that I am "preventing" him from talking because it is in his mouth "all the time". Which is funny really...does the Dr live with me? How does he in fact know it is? How about it is in his mouth the entire 5 min you are spending with my child because he is in a cold room, in his diaper, and awaiting shots while getting picked and prodded over by a big JERK. Yep...I was not happy...not happy at all.

Rylan has learned a few tricks. He learned how to get off the couch by himself which was not shown or taught to him. Now I am able to leave him there while I am doing things around the house and not worry he is going down head first. He has also learned how things can be put in and put out, how things open and close, and his favorite...makes noise when you throw it to the ground. He is also working on his last few teeth that are coming in...which will make him have his entire set of baby teeth!

Pete is doing well and trying to get caught up on past seasons of Hero's. He is also happily enjoying the Cowboys since it is Football season again.

I am doing ok and trying to surround myself with good people. I am also contemplating starting to tutor again. We shall see. I also finished up my Spanish classes and I am one step closer for my state certification.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Maybe it is a good day...

for the first time in weeks I put regular mascara on and not water proof....hoping and praying I will not have raccoon eyes today.

Couldn't have said it better!

I was in the shower this morning and like most times in significant moments in my life..I find music that relates to what I am feeling. FINALLY I have come across one right now. It is by All American Rejects and called "Move Along"


"Move Along"

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When everything is wrong, we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
[x3]

(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We move along

Saturday, October 13, 2007

What is normal

So as most know I have done my very best to be "normal". Act "normal", tell "normal" stories and AVOID.
Avoid the fact I am continueing to go through a miscarriage. That it is not over like I thought it was. Recently I found out that only half of the cells have left my body and the others are trying the thrive but never will. I now have to continue to go to my Dr.'s office that is filled with excited pregnant ladies...while I get monitored int he course of the termination of my pregnancy.
It has become apparent to me that a happy outlook and positive faith isn't enough to stay "normal". I have the right to feel saddness...I have the right to feel uncomfortable around happy pregnant ladies right now.
Last night I went out with the MOMS and tried to focus on having fun and being "normal".
I felt bad when one of my Mom friends annouced she was pregnant and I could barely look at her before getting a martini. I was not mad at her...I was mad at my body. I was mad that this 1/2 life inside me is sticking in there and dragging this process out. I am mad I have to sit in waiting rooms, walk in Target, have dinner with, and be close to pregnant women, when I am still technically a pregnant women with 1/2 of a life inside of me as I wait for it to abort. I can not help but feel like something is wrong with me. So I drank...hoping that it would "speed up the process", and be more comfortable with the ladies at the table. Luckily it did the last part...I forgot for the moment about my saddess and could look in all of their eyes and focus on them.
I came home, sobered up, and stared at the ceiling until 2am...trying to make sense of what I should do and who I should be. I really don't want to be the one wallowing in it...but at the same time...I think I need to step back and stop over annylazing what is the "healthy way" to deal with this is. The "normal" way.
For that reason...I am home today in my pj's and letting myself FEEL.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

The beauty is loss

As I last posted...I have never had real "loss" in my life. Nothing that stopped me dead in my tracks that made me think about mortality and those I love. Most would wish this would never happen to them with good reason....but their is gifts from God that come with it.
I know from being the person on the other end trying to find the words to say that sometimes they just "come to you". A year ago a very dear childhood friend of mine lost her mother soon after I had given birth. I sat at my computer thinking about what to write...then I started to think about her mom, and her mom's feelings as a mother watching her grow up...which I could now identify with. I wrote ...moved and inspired as if her mom's spirit had willed it and I know...it came out exactly as it should. It had moved me...and I read it 10000 times amazed it was my words. So happy that I could deliver it to someone I loved so much who was dealing with such tremendous loss.
Although my loss isn't as "major" some might say...it is still was a start of a life and an ending of one. And with that many people...and I do mean MANY..have reached out and have said some AMAZINGLY touching things that I will hold with me always. People I least expected, people I haven;t talked to in years, and people I knew would move me as just the people they are. Words can me beautiful and some of Gods greatest gifts.
I also got a very touching gift in the mail today from my Mom friends. A lovely and yummy edible arrangement that included chocolate covered apples....which have now made me addicted (they are better then chocolate covered strawberries). I would also like to mention my friend Pam ...who sat with me the other day to keep me busy while I waited the dreaded news...and brought me a very large Starbucks...as she knows this is what makes me smile.
Peoples words and actions during this time has made it clear to me just how much I am cared for.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

waiting and waiting...

I have been on this website a dozen times...thinking..."should I" or "shouldn't I" and I think I should.
Loss makes everyone squirm in their seats. Nobody knows what the right thing to say is, or how to act around the one with the "loss". God has blessed me with being the uncomfortable one...the one not experiencing loss.....until now.
A few weeks ago I wrote on this blog that pregnancy was "in the water". That was my way of saying I was pregnant but somehow knowing something was wrong. I say this because with Rylan I told the world and would have written it across every blog on earth if I could....this time...I was more coy about it. I told selected people and even then I worried about having to make them uncomfortable with sad news.
I was pregnant with baby "Dos" for 3-4 weeks. When I found out I was elated ...as we have be trying and hoping for months now. We flew to Florida to surprise Pete's family with Rylan wearing a "Big Brother in 2008" shirt...and a day or two later I started spotting. After an Er visit and many days of waiting for test results...I got the phone call that my womanly instinct knew I would get..I lost the baby.
Miscarriage is an isolating experience ...one much like any other loss except it was loss of life within your body. This is key to note.. because if you haven;t felt it...you don't know...and I pray you never have too.
I don't want pity, or small talk about "what God intends" by this....I don't want my friends and family squirming to find the "right" thing to say...
I want to move on...while remembering this life I had for a few weeks...as a blessing ...yes a blessing. I was blessed with a life...even though God played Indian giver...I am sure the old "it happened for a reason" is true even though I don't want to hear it out of every one I know mouth. I hope he blesses us again...and if for some reason he doesn;t ...we have been truly blessed with Rylan. This has made me really appreciate him, his life, and that he "stuck" with me throughout pregnancy and continue to grow.
I still feel saddened by our loss...but I will be ok.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Our Vacation to Florida

Good times at City Place in Palm Beach


I want to swim in the fountain


Floating in the Ocean


All about the POOL


Rylan got his OWN Johnny Rockets Hat


The boys at South Beach


Giant Palms on South Beach


Looking for topless babes on South Beach


3 generations of silly Dos Santos Men


Our Miami getaway


Pete and I ate Lobster and Crab Ravioli with Dark CHOCOLATE SAUCE in Miami


SAND TIME


Never to old to build a sandcastle


The waves are SCARY HUGE (that is Pete in the wave)


The Dos Santos Clan's last night at the Old Key Lime House


Enjoying the dock with Uncle Charlie and Dad


Looking for fish in the water


walking the dock like a big shot


After a week in sticky humid Florida we are back! It was a week full of good times for Rylan...who is officially OBSESSED with the water. Pete's grandparents home in Palm Beach has an in ground pool in the backyard...if he even saw a glimpse of it or someone going outside he screamed because he wanted to be IN IT...rain or shine. The kid should have been a fish. Although our week had alot of ups and downs, it ended on a nice note with a great dinner on the dock by the water. The one thing we all went home amazed by was the storms there....it literally woke us up from a sound sleep one night! If I lived there I would be waking the family up every time a storm came to get shelter somewhere....seriously scary! Rylan also ended his vacation mastering the art of walking...and now walks around like he owns the place...every place!