Snowday Lunch

Jammen

This kid loves music like no other. No matter what type it is, she bops her head to anything!

Proof Of Her First Word

Where The Hell Is Spring--This Winter Crap Is Depressing

Just when I hung up the Spring flag outside, and few spring items in the house, BAM-we are hit with a crap load of snow. I can hear Mother Nature like a Count Dracula (wa-ha ha), and telling us "dude it is February still, and if I am in charge here, that means Winter. Since you chose to live in New England, guess what that means? white stuff and a lot of no school days." Crappers. I was getting all excited about my 40 degrees outside run last weekend, and now I am stuck in the house because it hasn't stopped snowing in ten hours!

I get a bit down in the dumpers about this time of year. Mainly because I start missing the sun like a long lost child that was stolen for me. Since I know it will come back in a few short months, I yearn so hard that these short months feel like years. It is about now I curse at myself for picking this "dump what you got up there for frozen rain" state. I dream of switching over my clothes, and that Easter will come and mark the start of what "should be" better/warmer weather.

So in my preparation to keep me upbeat, and sane, I must have a "to do" list that reflects the "Spring's around the corner" attitude. This includes thinking about what the Easter meal will consist of (I am hosting this year), making Easter favors, buying Easter basket stuff, making a list of Spring/Summer things I need to buy for the kids, and thinking/dreaming about our trip to the Bahama's in May. I also have convinced myself I need to get on the birthday planning, since our March, April, and May are all chocked full of stuff going on.

Even with all this prep...

• I still surrender to a bowl of Turkey Hill Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup ice cream that is normally off limits to me since it isn't slow churn. Two days stuck in the house means I get weak in the knees.
• I can't watch anymore Curling on tv because it reminds me how dirty my house is thanks to being stuck in it with two kids, and how badly I need to break out the swiffer.
• I don't feel like going into the basement and working out, because I am to cozy in pajamas, and longing for the night to get here so I can go to bed.
• Toys are everywhere, up in everything. With Rylan home from school most days thanks to that crap outside, it means he uses every inch of the house as his playground. Not so much fun when you are peeing in the dark at night while stepping on a matchbox car, or rolling over on Buzz Lightyear in the middle of the night chatting away about being a space ranger. Listen here Buzz I don't give a F' --go to sleep and stop talking to me!
• I have watched more Oprah and Intervention on Tivo while the kids nap, that it makes me want to write a self-help book.
• After Rylan watches the promotion dvd about Disney World for the 5,000 time, he ends with the water parks and 9 times out of 10 starts moaning about wanting to go "NOW NOW NOW". I explain that it isn't so easy, and that we have to take a plane to Florida and yada yada yada, but really I just want to moan with him. I will go anywhere where it is warm right now, even if it means a park with wall to wall children, and lines up the wahzoo.
• I am totally over the "stay in and have warm hot chocolate, bake cookies, and make homemade soup". This is like day number 5,379 of this Winter storm crap (ok not really but it sure feels like it), and I am over eating that shit. Give me lemonade, a hot dog off the grill, and some outdoor dining. (insert moan: NOW NOW NOW)

As you can see I am less then amused about the current state of my state. Actually, it is almost at a state of drastic behavior where I might either move into a tanning salon for the next month (ha you laugh I literally did this in my NYC days during a LONG February. I went tanning daily and shut my eyes to pretend I was feeling the real sun), pack up the family and move down south, or ask the doctor is I can take antidepressants for the months December through February.

So here me, Mother Nature, I am over Winter and ready to wear white shoes and white pants again, instead of white stuff sticking to our shoes and pants!!!! No more of this boot thing (even if they are cute Uggs), or down jackets. All of this down pour of white flakes can make a girl nuts you know! I am afraid another storm might make me start planning out the 4th of July!

My Yearly Wake Up Call

I was there again today, sitting and waiting in that place that always takes my breath away. It doesn't matter how many times I have sat there, or who is sitting beside me, something about the word "Oncology" department is suffocating. Obviously I am here for a reason, and must follow up, and my worries never get checked at the door, as I always am prepared to walk out of there with bad news.

Last time I was here I think I captured what I was feeling in this room quite well. I was more focused on those in the room that looked like they were at the end of their lives, and that I was growing a new life inside me. This time I was focused on getting through the appointment with good news, and that I should step back and look at all I have to be grateful for while I sit in a room with a bunch of people visibly fighting for their lives. Isn't it a shame that it takes this yearly visit to humble me, and make more grateful?

The nurse pricks my finger and I say a little prayer in my head that goes like this "let it be normal let it be normal". I get on the scale and don't even notice what it says because that is how entranced I am about getting through this appointment. The smiley doctor waves to me and says "good to see you", and although I tell him it is good to see him too, I am not sure if that is quite honest.

Last month I had a physical done. My primary care doctor thought everything looked good minus the cholesterol being a little off, and the stupid BMI saying I am on the verge of being obese. She did however pick up on my blood issue and asked me to follow up with the hematologist which I was supposed to have done months ago, but scaredy cat over here put it off. My numbers for her blood work up were high, and worrisome. So off I went.

Today they were lower (thank God), but also not "normal". The smiley doc told me the same thing he has been telling me for two years, "Not to worry--it probably has something to do with something that is hard to diagnosis like Crones, IBS, arthritis, iron issues, or some other type internal inflammation or infection". He said we have done all the tests we can do minus the bone marrow, and that at this time he feels like he doesn't have to do that quite yet (which of course I heard the word YET!!!). He then told me, yes this type of thing could be a sign of Cancer, but that I would see other signs, and that the rest of my blood work is spot on normal. He said I am to young and healthy to worry about that. Still.... I somehow worry that some day I am going to go there and he is going to use that big word that has a waiting room full of patients fighting to dismantle it.

I imagine the world is fearful of the word Cancer. It is a scary word. I imagine other Mom's fear they too will get a diagnosis at a young age and sadly some of them do. I think my worry is I am one step closer then the average dreamer. I have an appointment in the Oncology unit yearly. A yearly visit that reminds me about how precious life is, and a visit that suffocates me in thinking about the "what if's".

On my drive in today I was thinking about the worst case scenario. Almost as a get ready just in case you must wrap your mind around it, type thing. Here is what I learned/thought: I am not afraid to die. Not one stinking bit. As many of you have read here, or know my personally, I have seen the "light", and I know what happens after life. My fear is death while my children are young. They need their parents, and nobody deserves to have to live a life without Mom. No matter how hard a grandparent, an aunt, or even an eventual step-mom might try to fill those shoes, they never do, and you always feel cheated. I don't want my kids to feel cheated, nor do I want to be cheated of watching them grow.

Luckily I did not have to wrap my mind around this today. Luckily I can watch them grow. However, just as the saying goes, you can only count on today because you never know what tomorrow brings. Today I walked out of that office, and through the waiting room, out to my car, with a smile that spelled relief. I almost wanted to do a Jersey Shore fist pump in the air to recognize that I nailed another year down with "it's nothing to worry about-follow up next year". I almost felt as if I was dodging time. Wanting to toss up some peace signs to the hospital Oncology unit I think " Til next time... and my next yearly dose of being grateful".

When I got home and found blue magic marker on my three year old head to toe, and all over the wood floors and walls, the before waiting room me, would have went nuts. The post, I am grateful with no news is good news me, explained to him why we don't do this, and put him on my lap to read books. (which by the way, he had a perfectly logical reason behind the marker. He told me he was making train tracks on the floor for his trains, and he trains were all lined up beside the blue lines on the floor. He also told me the wall writing were signs for the airport, and his planes were all facing them)

Today we are all well, because after all what's a little magic marker on walls in comparison to those people fighting for their lives?

Random Kid Pics

I can't keep my hands off the new camera lately so this blog is going to get bogged down with these cute faces. Hope you don't mind!

I surrender:
Elmo is my homeboy (she put her arm around him on her own as I was taking this pictures):
love:
Play:
On the move:
His Eyes:
Her Eyes:

She Likes It

This cute little baby of mine will eat anything! She just tried to grab ahold of Rylan's prized lollipop, and she stares me down when I eat salad as if I am eating a buffet in front of her. Thankfully the wine/beer in the house doesn't have rubber nipples on top or she would help herself to that too!

She has just mastered the art of picking up finger foods and feeding herself. Her pincher grab isn't such a great pincher as it is a hand full of stuff. She loves puffs and Cheerios, and today she even had some plain pasta!

Here is Rylan giving her an extra hand by feeding her:
Chubby hands are so cute picking up food:
The hand-full grasp (which is the pincher grasps greedy cousin):
success:

Crabby In Connecticut

You might think I am referring to our moods seeing as we are practically buried under the snow and can't remember a time we had a full day of sunshine. However, I am referring to Rylan's new love: CRABS. He is also digging snakes a lot too, but lucky for me he has requested a pet crab NOT a pet snake (well at least not yet). As you read we ran into some rough waters with Rylan's behaviors recently, so he has been working hard to earn good behavior stickers toward his very own hermit crabs. He is just a few short stickers away! (and then I have to find something else to use as the golden carrot--and I can promise you it WON'T be towards a pet snake!).

In the meantime he got a crab that grew in water for Valentines day. He was in love with it for days on end:

Playing Catch Up

If you didn't read this blog or know me or my kids, and happened to stumble upon my scrapbooks you would think my son was only one and half and Addison none existent. So I only have almost two years of Rylan's life to catch up on, and all of Addisons, not to overwhelming right?

I am trying really hard to keep things as equal as possible. As I know what it is like to be the 2nd child and seeing all of your older siblings photos arranged in books and baby book filled out and yours in a "to do" box for life. I have to make sure Addie doesn't end up in a "to do" box. This is so hard to do since the second baby grows up in like a millisecond. I try to fill in the baby milestone calendar and I am always behind a few months wondering where the time has gone and trying to remember when she did what when.

I have been putting my crafty skills souly into making greeting cards lately because they are easy and quick. Scrapbooking is a huge mound of anxiety ridden work that I need to think out way before even putting together a page. Naturally when I have down time and want to be crafty, the scrapbooking never wins.

So before I keep building the mound so big that Rylan is six and Addison still doesn't have her first year captured, I am getting down to business. I scheduled time with my Mother in-law this upcoming weekend to make a day of scrapping. This means I have the week to prepare what exactly I want to accomplish then. So today I sat knee deep in pictures, design paper, embellishments, and so on and so forth. Two hours went by and I still have stacks and stacks of things to put in order and pictures to upload and print. This little hobby of mine sure takes the cake for being time consuming.

The part that made me freak out a bit wasn't the "oh my you are so behind", or the "I will never catch up's", it was "where did the time go?". Looking at pictures of Addison on the day she was born in some ways feels like yesterday and in other ways feels like years and years ago. Even Rylan looked so young in the pictures that he was holding a newborn Addie, and yet that was only eight months ago. How much life has changed, and we have changed in eight months! Since this happens so darn fast, I have to make it a priority to give my kids these books that right now might seem mundane, but later they will appreciate.

For a while I will need to be done with the "easy crafting", and get back to where it all began. I need to make sure Rylan presents to be age three and a half, and Addison 8 months, sooner than later.

You're My Brown Eyed Girl

New Blessings Arrive In Pink

I am such a mush when it comes to new souls coming to this earth! Not that I want to house one in my stomach anymore, in fact I am quite sure those days are over, but I still find it amazing no matter how many times it is done.

The newest member to this glorious life:

Little Miss Victoria (Tori) . She is already staring at the world in amazement, and taking it all in.

This beautiful little girl belongs to this beautiful lady:

That's my friend Pam. She is a trooper and almost had Tori in the car on the way to the hospital! Pam is what we all call the "baby whisperer". Kids flock to her, and she is one of those Mom's we all strive to be. Tori is so lucky to have her. And I am so darn lucky to have Pam as my friend.

The best part of yesterday was doing this:

There is nothing like holding a newborn. I love it. Not only for the snugs, and seeing their little bodies curl up, but also to see their wonderment. Surprisingly, although I thoroughly loved holding Tori, this did NOT make me want another one. I will hold Pam's baby any day, and anyone elses too, but I think I am almost at the point were I can say I am done. (if not we call all chuckle at this post when I am 9 months pregnant again and moaning on this blog)

I have said this before, but I can't help but say it again: New life is the one thing that proves to all of us that God exists. Nobody can deny this miracle! The fact is, although Pam housed the beauty, and her husband Rob had a part in this too, little Tori is still a blessing from the man above. Blessings all of us should never take for granted, even when they grow to be three and throw tantrums at the doctors office that make you cry. :-)

Lets show Tori a hearty welcome to this place! And don't forget to thank God for your miracle(s)!

Check Ya Later Fat Girl: Leave the blubber at the door.

I used to be in a dark, frail place. A place I shared on this very blog, a place I thought I would never get out of. This place was called my post baby body.

After having Rylan I was in a five times bigger size then I was prior to having him. I was so confused by it, that I didn't even recognize who this fat girl was in the mirror. I felt completely defeated, alone, embarrassed, and I never ever thought for one minute that my life would be any different. I would have to live depressed about my weight, and embarrassed about how I looked for life now. I loathed shopping because nothing made me "look skinny" anymore, and I marched home with nothing short of a mu mu. Thanks to this undesirable, woe is me, look at you ugly Momma attitude, I gained more weight and became even more lost.

Fast forward to today. Yesterday I had a pair of pants on that I could not even hold up with a belt anymore. I hadn't dare try any other size pants since being on my healthy kick, because I do not want to set myself for failure. Today, however, I slid on a pair of jeans I bought right after having Rylan that didn't actually fit me then, but I tried to make them fit. It was sort of like fitting a pig into a tiny doll tutu. I stuffed it all in, and hung it all over sort of speak. It wasn't pretty. Today was a new day though, those pants not only fit but they need to be held up by a belt. YEE HAW! I am no where near my goal weight, or size, but this feels victorious for me. All of that work, it just a few short months, it simply amazes me. So I began to feel a bit bold, and went to the mall. I picked up a cute shirt at Ann Taylor Loft on clearance. I looked at the size and thought "never", but is was $9 plus 40% off and that mad me try the sucker on. Guess what? I bought it. A $5 size SMALL shirt. I haven't been a size SMALL in at least five years!!!

I am not ready for a tankini minus a skirt yet, nor am I ready for sexy lingerie. I am not saying I am where I should be yet, or that I am ready to start teaching Zumba tomorrow. I am saying...I am out of that place. The fat girl has left the building and she is not coming back. She is with Elvis.

I know what you are thinking. Saying that means she possibly could return, because many of us diet and slip up right? The thing is I actually got it this time. I feel good. I like how healthy foods make me feel, and how after Zumba class I am energized and feeling like I could take on the world. Not to mention my over achiever self who once they set their mind completely on something, forget about it, I am going all the way.

With this, I must thank the one person that read my blog in my darkest days, and reached out. The person that told me I could be in the spot that I now am, and that I deserved to be. The person that offered to show me how to exercise for FREE in order to save me. Thank you Sporty Spice. I do not know where I would be right now if you hadn't intervened, nor would life be as bright without your friendship. A prime reason why writing a blog, this little old thing, can produce massive amounts of change in lives, and make friendships for life.

Next time I write about this subject I fully anticipate telling you I bought that tankini, and I am at the goal size/weight. Even then I am still not giving up on me. Not now, not then, not ever.

In Jail Block #2: Rylan age 3

School Vacation: As a teacher I adored this.

School Vacation: As a stay at home Mom... I loathe it.

Not because I don't want to spend extra time with Rylan, but it consists of too much time. When there is too much snow falling from the sky, and sickness running rapid through the house, we are stuck inside. It also makes us both a little willy nilly being off our usual schedule. Needless to say I am counting down the days until Thursday, when hopefully he will be suitable for school, and I will wave to that little yellow bus with pure delight (and love of course).

Here's the thing: Rylan is a force to be reckoned with lately. I am starting to think we have to call Nanny 911, I stink as a Mother, or I will need to be committed for a week and call it "sleep deprivation" like my fav celebs call it when they have break downs.

Rylan is usually a very sensitive, huggable, loving kid, who cares about how he makes others feel. Usually when he is doing something wrong that involves someone elses feelings you can talk him back to reality with a mere "...but you are hurting their feelings". He is a sensitive soldier that gets hurt when he see's others hurt. Well...ok... most of the time. (I feel like I am writing his report card over here, as the rule of teacher's thumb is to always start with two positive things before spewing out all of the bad).

Then there was yesterday. Horrible, traumatic, Mom's going to toss herself off of the bridge, yesterday. I wondered who in fact this a$$hole of a kid belonged to. Man did it suck when I realized that would be me.

I have taken both kids to the doctors for double whammy fits dozens of times, and after this particular one, I will NEVER EVER do it alone again. Get me?--NOT EVER!

Rylan started out from the get go of running out of the sick room and into the hallways, yelling and hiding. Every time I left Addison to go fetch him, she would start to scream. I could not wait to hear the names being called, and silly me thought the madness was all over once we got back in the office.

That is when this little 10 foot by 10 foot room started to feel more like a jail cell and less like a exam room. He started out with touching things he wasn't supposed to (like doctor tools), and rolling all over the floor because he knows he isn't supposed to. Next he began to try to pull his sister off the table, and throw things at me. Which then escalated to him screaming ON TOP OF HIS F'N LUNGS, and kicking me. I tried the calm cool and collected...for like a minute. Then I began to get that feeling deep within with every scream the kid did in my face and I calmly told him "you won't get a sticker today with this behavior", that this wasn't working, he didn't care, and that I was about to lose my ever loven mind.

Of course this cell block was situated right against the nurses station that could hear my terror three year old. I didn't know what to do with him, and for the first time I felt he got me in a corner and that I was defeated. I was mortified, embarrassed, and worried they would call children services when I got to my breaking point and screamed/growled at him. I thought about packing up and leaving, but heck I was already mortified, I might as well get the kids checked out right?

The doctor came in 25 minutes after we waited through pure torture hell provided by the demon we call Rylan. I swear if she came in 5 more minutes later she would have found me either a. crawled up in a ball crying my eyes out or b. on top of him, holding him down, and telling him to shut it. Of course we had to be seeing the crotchety old hag of a doc that hates me and believe me (as you have read here before) the feeling is quite mutual.

Off the bat she asked if there was a war going on. Rylan suddenly becomes an ANGEL. She buys into it and says out loud "Mommy needs to realize you are only 3 and that you have a short attention span". Rylan tells her he wants a sticker on his chart for a hermit crab he is working to get. I say out loud "You do not get a sticker for that kind of behavior. When your listening ears are working and you are a good boy you will get one". Old hag says to Rylan, "I'll give you a sticker here because I rule this house. Mommy is a hard one, I can't change her mind at home." What? did she just promise my kid a sticker for being an a$$hole at the doctors office? yes. she in fact DID!

Of course the kids were diagnosed with only "a bad cold". Which pissed me off since what I went through there should have been hospitalization, or a big shot or something. As she told me the same ol same ol about how to relieve them, she also added in "and remember...tonight when you put him to bed make sure to tell him you love him and that he is NOT a bad boy".

So not only did I leave the doctors office in tears because I looked like the worse Mom on this earth, I also got scolded by the hag as if she was my Mom. I broke down in the car, I just couldn't hold it in anymore. Rylan started saying he was sorry for making me sad. I honestly could not even stand the sight of him for that moment. So I drove in complete silence. We came home to complete silence. I could not even speak to my own son. Thank God Pete was coming home in moments to take over.

For as sweet and sensitive he is most of the time, he also has been feeling/acting like he is entitled. That the world "owes him", and that he is to get whatever he wants, preferably on a silver platter. The only thing that is coming to him on a silver platter is an ass whooping' and a big helping of "to bed early", if he continues down this path.

I finally spoke to him this morning. He said to me "Mommy you aren't mad anymore? I love you. You love me?". And I feel the soft spot in my heart and think--shitters he has done it again. I remind him I love him, that I always love him, but I don't always love his behavior. I remind him today is a new day, which means if he is a good boy he can get a sticker for his beloved crab. Wouldn't you know it--today he is an angel!

Needless to say I am thinking of writing his school and asking if they would consider doing an overnight when he gets back, or at least give me some pointers on how to deal with three year olds that think they are the boss of everything.

If you can relate to this post--PLEASE comment. I am feeling all ridiculously alone in it. When I have moments like these they don't register as crappy kid--it registers as crappy Mom.

The Pursuit Of Happiness

Have you ever thought about the pursuit of happiness and what yours looks like? Some people have a very defined start to finish on what this means to them, others are always on the road to pursuit.

I am in the latter category if you haven't figured that out yet. Not that I am not happy with my life, and feel filled to the brim with love, I am just constantly battling the "what am I meant to accomplish in this life?". The thing is this question that I have asked myself thousands of times is ever changing.

How many degrees can one have until they feel like they have found enough knowledge? mine is never. Not because of the theory that knowledge is power, but I believe knowledge is freedom.

I used to be a lover of change for this soul reason. I wanted to experience all that life has to offer me, and at points in my life I have. Points when I didn't have to consider anybody else's life to entangle with mine. Now this pursuit is different. Now this burning question takes on a new look, taste, and feel.

Am I meant to be a stay at home Mom forever? no. However, pursuing it over the past few years has been nothing less then pure joy. Spiritually I can't think of any other job unless becoming a nun that could bring me so close to God(and for those of you who personally know me--you know my days of being a nun are LONG gone). Two little people, two little souls, made with a hefty helping of Mom and Dad, and mostly through the man upstairs. I not only got to birth those miracles, I got to drink their every move for the past three and a half years. For us Moms with the never ending pursuit, after we have had this experience and know at some point it will end, we get into the "what now" and the "back to me and what my soul needs".

I am not 100% there yet. I have been thinking about goals though. Many things I hope to accomplish in a years time, and other things that don't have a time frame on it. I am slowly learning that one should never say "I wish I would have done _______ when I was younger", because anything is possible at any age if you put your heart and soul into it.

This weekend in my Zumba class that I love so much. I realized something. Not only has trying something new brought me something I now love, it has brought me a goal. I want to teach Zumba someday. Not because I think I Beyonce better then anyone else, or that I want to wear a sexy outfit and salsa in it, because this dance/fitness thing as literally talked to my soul. Sounds a bit odd I know, but when I am doing it, I know it was meant for me. Sort of like the first day I taught in a classroom with my very own class. It is a feeling that comes over you that says "you got this one right!".

So someday I will teach Zumba, even if I am 66 yrs old and needing to smack back my grey hair in a ponytail. I will also return to the classroom, and continue to challenge myself at being the best dang teacher I can possibly be.

Someday I am going to travel and see as much as I can along side my husband. I am going to stop giving people my time and energy that don't deserve a speck of it. I am going to go learn how to meditate with real Buddhists instead of just reading about it. I going to instill in my kids that no dream is to big and that anything is possible. I am going to seek comfort in my Mom body and stop beating myself up. I am going to continue to ask the question and pursue where ever my soul takes me, and yes even if is means another degree.

I am going to find time to write. I don't just want to write a book, the core of me tells me this is a major factor of "what I am meant to be doing". Even though I clearly don't know how to, and I only really know how to write a blog. Somehow I will figure this out, someday.

Someday when I am really old and wrinkly, I will still hold the hand of my husband, and utter "didn't we have a good life. Didn't we do all that we would say we would do?". And he'll nod with delight. Someday I will pass on and be with the same man up stairs that blessed me with two beautiful souls that grew in my stomach. On that day, I will no longer be on the pursuit, because it is there, on that day, that my entire life will graduate to pure happiness and what I was meant to do.

8 Months

My how time flies. My baby girl turned 8 months today...


She keeps growing and changing, and there is something so heartbreaking about watching what you think is your last baby grow near to their first birthday. It is crazy to me how fast 8 months has gone by.

Having a baby second time round really steals the "baby year" away. It may seem I take lots of pictures but believe me when I tell you it may only be 1/4 of what I took from Rylan. I get worried. Will I remember her at 6 weeks--did I take enough photos? I should have taken more videos of her. I should have taken more videos of Rylan as a baby too so at least that is equal. The baby year goes by so fast, and is so short lived. I really felt it was just a month ago or so I was sitting in the hospital bed holding her for the first time. And now she is saying Momma?

Well she only says it when she is mad or complaining. It went from "Mum" (which she still does sometimes), to "Mom-ma" (which melts my heart into pieces).

She is now commando crawling both ways, has ants in her pants meaning she must be moved to a different scenario every 5 min. or "Boom" you are going to hear some crying out "Mom-ma's", she eats 4 --count them 1 2 3 4 jars of baby food a day when her buddy Jake man who is two weeks older only eats 1! (she must have the "i love food" gene from her Mom--poor kid. I better put money aside for therapy now), she sleeps through the night for the most part but never ever sleeps past 6 am, she still loves to be sung "you are my sunshine", and today... on her 8 month birthday, got her first passport picture taken (since we are off to a family trip in MAY!).

Addison, my dear, sweet, baby girl, you bless our days in so many ways. I could not imagine our worlds without you. Rylan tells you everyday he loves you, and runs to see you first thing every single morning. Daddy loves to sing to you especially "Lady In Red". And Mommy doesn't let a day pass by without telling you how very much she loves you. I do. We all do. Happy 8 month birthday my dear!

We Sure Know How To Play

Today we hit up Playtime Village to enjoy some time with friends, and to run off steam. Of course I forgot to get my camera out until the end, which means I missed out of getting some key photos (like the Loban belly and the Loban Boy). We met up with the Valentines too (who you would think would be all "Valentines Day--I AM Valentines day" but instead they played it on the down low and little Jake man went with Halloween as the go to holiday on his bib), and some of Rylan's friends from town came too. It was a perfect morning to fill up a no school Friday, until of course Rylan pulled the ultimate temper tantrum as we left. He told me "I want to stay all night here Mommy".

It is a miracle to get a photo of Miss Melody! As she is a mover and a shaker!
Sammy thought about pulling a mini tantrum here, but instead choose to SMILE :-)
Happy Halloween Jake and Happy Valentines day Addison!!! (our babies are getting big)
Rylan happy to be there, and apparently willing to stay over.

Favorite Things Of January 2010

It is done. I am a little late for this post but better late then never! Check it out:

My Favorite Things January 2010

Snow Day 10': What happened to that blizzard?

We spent yesterday snowed in! All of the forecasts told us blizzard conditions were on their way, yet... it never happened. The snow was light, and the roads somewhat drive-able. Yet the entire area was pretty much closed down, and barely a soul would go against the meteorologist strong warnings to stay in. So we did what they said and stayed in. Here are so pictures from our day:

Rylan enjoying watching the snow come down from the window


The snow came...just not in the amount they said it would
Addie's happy for a snow day


trekking through all that white stuff
Dad shows him how to roll a snowball
Ry takes over

If the weatherman was correct this house would me draped in white! Yet it was dusted with it.
Daddy and Rylan enjoying the snow
The final product being inspected
I love you Mr Snowman!

quick dream update

I just woke up from a well needed nap that took me what it felt like days to get out of. Seriously, I feel like I could have slept for the entire night and it is only 3 pm. Anyway...

I dreamt I was in my hometown in RI and I was eating dinner with my Sister and Mom. Per my request we were feasting on Chinese food from Asia and eating shrimp with lobster sauce (because it is the only place on this good earth I would eat that from). The box gets to me and there is no shrimp left--just sauce. My Sister and Mom find nothing wrong with this, and find it insane that I then nearly flip over the table with my pissdom.

Dearest Sister that reads my blog--I love you--but you owe me some F'n Asia Shrimp and Lobster sauce!!!!!!!!! However I much rather dream about you cheating me out of a few shrimp then Dad in his underwear outside in the snow!

Why was I dreaming about this? Anyone? I need to buy a dream book-like ASAP.

Dreams Are Not Always Meant To Come True-THANK GOD

I am one of those people who dream like it is real, and remember every detail the next day. Do you know how hard it is to try to talk reality to yourself while stuck in a crazy dream?

I remember in sixth grade I dreamt I was living in a Big Mac. Do you know how messy it is to live amongst McDonald's special sauce? Who dreams of living in a hamburger?

Last night I dreamt that my parents entire neighborhood was out watch my Dad who was rolling around and sledding in the snow with nothing but a pair of long underwear bottoms. Now if you know my Dad this is no so far fetched, (I am remembering a time he was shoveling our driveway with a headlight on his head, and to the knew slicker boots), but still odd. Very odd dreams. I was trying to reason with him logically in the dream, but in dreams logic doesn't exist.

The other day I was dreaming of being on a bow of a boat with a friend I haven't seen since high school. We were going out to sea, and the waves were clearly going to crash over our heads like the Perfect Storm style. I was holding her little girl (who I have never met) and telling her to hold on tight. The last thing I remember about this dream is turning to my friend and telling her how mad I was I forgot my seabands at home since I get sea sick. CRAZY Aimee. How about thinking about living through the crazy waves?

I had a week long of tragic dreams that consisted of massive, horrible disasters around me. Huge tractor trailer accidents, tsunami's, boat crashers, you name it --it happened and I over and over again was the lone survivor. Talk about waking up jilted when you see something like a tractor trailer truck ram into you!

I also spend many many dream hours back in high school. Sometimes in an open rest room trying to pee while random people walk by. My mind is telling myself to pull my pants up, my dream is telling myself just to pee who cares. I also quite often dream of being 15, and my logic self has to tell myself "You are 33 stupid! Not 15. Homecoming doesn't matter. Who you will ask to the prom doesn't matter. Who cares so and so didn't sign your year book!". Dreaming of high school is more torturous then dreaming of an accident! Especially the continuous dream I have about being lost, and having to keep trying to find my schedule over and over and over again. It is exhausting. Thank God I am sleeping.

I also spend way to much time waiting for elevators to come. Don't ask why--I have no reasoning. All I know is I can never get out of buildings any other way, and that the elevators never come, or if they do they break down, or lead to a place I didn't want to go.

Why can't I just dream about Aruba? Or my house being clean, the sun being out, it being Summer time, the kids are sick free, and dinner is already cooked for the next day? Now that my friend is a dream come true. Not living in a hamburger, seeing your grown Dad flop around in snow in his underwear, going out into rough seas, or taking a piss in the middle of Freshman hallway!

Is This Swim Class Or Therapy

There's a reason Addison's swim class is only filled with two kids (Addie being one of them). The teacher is a wack-a-do. She is constantly asking us why we think her class is so small, and the other class is so huge. I think I know the answer but there is no "nice way" to tell the space cadet.

At first I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. I pondered her age, thinking she looked 16 but how could that be when it was during the week? Was she a drop out? All I knew is she was very young, very immature, and was clueless what 6-9 month old babies can and cannot do. I even pondered, could this spacey girl really save my kid underwater?

I soon found out a bunch of information on her. She is 20. Still lives with her parents, just bought a new car, her ex boyfriend slashed her tires after being obsessed with her, she wants to get a dog she can carry around in a hand bag and dress up in tu tu's, she prefers blue eyes, she doesn't speak to any of the family on her fathers side because they are all nuns and priests and apparently that is "weird", she loves kids and loves to babysit (hint hint--NOT), she has been in an abundance amount of car accidents due from snow/ice/rain, she thinks it is ridiculous that her nephew has to take naps (he is 11 months) if he is not crying, she only wants to have girls when she has kids, she dislikes her job and tells us repeatedly she "won't be working here forever", and clearly... she forgets we are paying (big $$$ might I add) for her to teach our kids here at that very place she won't be forever, and not chit chat about her life.

She thinks Addison and the little boy who is 9 months in her class, can "scoop" hands, blow bubbles under water, and fetch a duck that is tossed across the entire pool. She had us prop the kids up on the side of the pool and didn't want us to hold their hands as they "jumped in". Umm...yeah my baby still isn't steady sitting up on her own yet, never mind on a slippery pool deck. She sings a few songs that Addison jams too, but she gets mad when the kids are not doing the actions in the pool for the "wheels on the bus". Umm. 7 months old lady.

What I wanted out of the class is what I am getting. I just wanted Addison to not fear the water, and have something just about her and I. However, I sort of expected what I had with Rylan in his first swim class. The women was known around the Y as the "swim Nazi", and taught us about safety while getting him acquainted with the water. I liked that style. I was a nervous Mom that needed the guidance of child safety. She taught us how to swim on our backs with our child secure around our neck. And you know how much information I knew about her? zilch. She was to busy teaching.

The 20 yr old is cute and kind enough, but for the price of the class I am unimpressed. Next week Rylan has off from school and she told me to bring him with us. So there I will be, two kids, neither can swim, and I only have two hands to hold. She told me she would help, but if she thinks Addison can dive off the side of the wall on her own, what is she going to think Rylan can do? I pray I come home with two kids still happy about the water, and that neither experience any fear from ditsy dunking them and assuming they can do things they can't. I guess I could get a sitter for Ry, but he has been begging for a swim class, and this is the perfect (and free for him) time to test the waters sort of speak.

Needless to say I am not signing Addison up again. Rylan is a maybe. And I am using my Y membership sparingly. I am conflicted keeping it going, because I went to an AWESOME class this past Saturday that I am still walking around unrecovered from. With everything.... swim class, Zumba, you name it... it all depends on the teacher and their goals for their class. After all 20 yr old is not going to "do this" for the rest of her life, so why should I expect more? She'd rather be at your house babysitting your kids, not giving them naps, and wondering why they can't just feed themselves already.

Seriously. I am starting to feel like she should be paying ME.

Valentines Day Photo Shoot

I thought I would be brave and try a mini photo opt today with the spirit of Valentines day. The intention was good. I had fully anticipated a possible struggle with the three year old, who was surprisingly easy going about it. It was the usually smiley baby that most of the time likes to get her photo taken that would not budge to show off her pearly whites, and whined 99.9% of the time. It wasn't a total bust--just a minor one. Here is what we got out of about 66 tries!

Rylan is happy to smile when you ask him to recite Toy Story lines. Addie will not complain as long as you stuff her face with a toy so that it takes up most of her face in the picture.
Ummm. I think he is my kid. Does he not look like me in this pic?
Oh yeah. I am losing weight. So now I am game for photos!

Please. Anyone...I am begging you, open this lollipop so I can get a lick!
The only minor smile of the day with a missing shoe!
I think this one could be mine too. Those big brown eyes!
Someone must have said something about "to infinity and beyond"
Rylan and Mommy=Happy Addison=take this picture and feed me Beaaauuttchhh
I love this picture even though he needs a haircut desperately.
Her heart does belong to her Daddy--it is true.
This was the very start of the photo opt when she was contemplating being in a good about it.
And there you have it.... A mini photo shoot. I should also mention that NO Pete and I haven't divorced, and I am not a single Mom (which someone that might look at these photos and doesn't know me might think "where is the Father in these pics?". Well the father was sick and still in his pj's, so we felt he wasn't so.... um... photo opt ready?!