Weeping Winter

Winter 2011 in New England seems to be going likes this:

Monday: -10 blue skies

Tuesday: chance of flurries

Wednesday: Snow storm (at least a foot) no school

Thursday: 90 minute delay

Friday: Snow Storm (at least a foot) no school

Saturday: Sunny with dripping ice gutters

Sunday: chance of snow showers

Above played on repeat. Sure different days for different things, but the same out come none the less. There is no place to put the snow anymore, and although April is just a few months away, I am pretty sure there will still be snow on the ground for Easter this year.

Our bay window is dripping like a water faucet inside the house. Pete is currently on the roof using a roof rake to rid the mounds our roof has collected. He is also pouring boiling water on the gutters to melt the ice away. We have hopes that our roof and gutters with be snow and ice free for .... lets see...at least three days until the next freaken storm hits.

I was just reading a magazine about Seasonal Affective Disorder, and I am self diagnosing as of today. Moody, extra sleep, eating, craving food, gaining weight, in a funk, ....check check check.... this all equals to I HATE WINTER. I think I might have been a bear in a past life because I could totally sleep the months away and not miss it. Sure it is pretty, sure it is New England and expected, but ...I still don't like it. I need sunshine, and being outside. I remember one long Winter in NYC I even decided light was worth setting myself up for Cancer. I spent two months in a tanning bed, not for a tan, but to make my brain think it was warm and sunny even if it was only at 15 minutes a pop. While further reading into this disorder (also known as SAD--how perfectly named), they said one of the cures to it is light therapy so I guess my tanning bed idea wasn't so far off. However, the therapist in the article was referring to sitting in front of a light bulb for an hour or two a day. Can you imagine telling people this? "Sorry I have to get off the phone and sit in front of my light bulb for the next hour?" Crazy.

Instead I am drumming up dreams and hopes, and rolling them up in prayer. My Google was on high this week for jobs and homes in South Carolina. We are working on a plan that includes moving, and getting a place with more sunshine and less SAD. A place my husband won't have to roof rake, and the weather prediction won't be "you will be stuck in your home for the next month in sweatpants, eating baked goods, gaining weight, going stir crazy, shoveling daily, while getting driven to the very edge of sanity by two house bond children".

Will it happen? maybe. For now a girl can dream and sit in front of a light bulb.

The Nest

I can't believe I forgot this pic from the zoo! It is our family nest--not to be empty in quite some time!

Florida

Is there anything better then seeing a beach baby with pony tails from behind?
She was happy to be there! And although she enjoyed her many sleigh rides back home, you couldn't wipe the sunshine smile off this child's face.
Or this brown eyed boy. He literally lived in the ocean.
He giggled like we hadn't heard in months. And suddenly we realized the sunshine was making us all happy.
Addison refused to sit in the sand, or walk in it for the most part. She didn't mind getting a little wet (up to her waist), but other then that she was a very very clean beach baby. It took days for her to be ok with making it off the blanket, and not afraid of waves.
Some nice beach goer offered to capture this moment! Which is AWESOME, since we never get a family shot on vacation--and the best about this one--everyone is looking!
Rylan forgot how great it was to play outside, wear shorts and crocs, and swim in the water.
This was the first time she entered off the blanket and went exploring.

The boys went exploring too!
We went to the local zoo. Rylan mimicked the statue of a bear.
And smiled with delight every time he saw a new animal. He especially loved the snake exhibit (shocker!).
Then we encountered a dangerous, 6 ft, Portuguese, almost extinct bear who is almost 40 years old. Someone told me he belonged to me and I had to take him home. My kids are even calling him Dad, go figure.
We also went to the Miami Seaquarium (which by the way was in a great location but a major rip off. Awesome shows, but no Aquarium exhibits!). This killer whale decided that the splash zone wasn't enough and nailed Pete and I. We were soaked head to toe!
The Sea Lion show was Addison's favorite.

Rylan enjoyed it too.
Addison was full of claps and smiles which was odd for her that day thanks to teething.
We even got to see the REAL Flipper.
Of course I can never go down to West Palm with out going to my favorite church. Yes many of the pictures look the same from last October, but I love this place. I just feel I have to take pictures of my two little blessings at a place that just screams GOD to me.


These pictures can't even do this place justice. It is breathing taking, jaw dropping, awe experiencing all wrapped into one holy church.

January

In Florida 2011:
In Connecticut 2011:
I need to find a happy medium. Which is why I have been googling jobs & homes in South Carolina this evening, and reaching out to a dear friend of mine that lives there. We shall see!

Post-Itch Itch-Vacation

Landing in feet of snow is a major let down after spending a week in 80 degree weather. The flight was close to perfect with sleeping/well behaved kids. We landed and resumed life in New England as we know it (which is code for HOLY HELL there is a load of snow up in this joint! And -10 on our first day home-wtf?).

We got home, I unpacked, and felt ready for the week. "Business as usual", I thought, and went on as if it was any other day.

I lay down in my bed that I had missed desperately while gone. I decided my bed was my silver lining for coming home to such horrid weather. In the middle of the night I woke up itching everywhere, and a strike of worry hit over me.

Days prior while in Florida, we saw fleas on our clothes and Rylan and I were getting outrageously bit. We did what we could to rid the house of them, but figured thanks to raccoons that had entered the attic, that they had made a perfect nesting ground in this vacant home.

So there I was, the morning after flight, covered in what looked like chicken pocks all over my body. The kids woke up and had more, and Pete reported some newly formed bumps too. We were all itchy, and unappreciative of this souvenir.

Of course I worried about bed bugs. Florida has been infested! So in the middle of the night I was waking up with a flashlight to look and found nothing. I was itching all over and somewhere between the amount of info on the Internet, and my brain I decided we all caught body lice from the plane. I am sure if I continued my Internet search I would have diagnosed us all with some type of bacteria that would kill us because when you are going through something like this the Internet is a death trap. I spent hours googling bed bugs, scabies, fleas, sand fleas, and so on and so forth.

I went to Zumba although incredibly itchy, and found by the time I got home it had spread more. Afraid of a dreadful outcome, I decided the kids and I would be heading off to the pediatricians (the old hellish one since I am still waiting for the date I meet our new one). Shockingly (insert sarcastic eye roll) they had no appointments when I called at 8:30am (the time they open--for real??????? add that to the list of no thank-you's). So that shipped us off to the other office I had never been too, and in the horrible snow we were getting. I was sliding all over the roads, and sweating with anxiety.

In the end we found it, and our diagnosis was good: we aren't dying from deadly raccoon bacteria! Nor do we have bed bugs, lice, or scabies (phew). We got bit by a mite that the doctor believed lived on the raccoon, and our body is have a natural allergic reaction. Some of us are more allergic then others, which explains why Rylan and I look like we have chicken pocks. The best news was there was no medication, and that we more then likely DID NOT take any bugs home with us. We are in the watch for the next week just in case, but according to the grumpy doc, those mites don't usually travel with people.

So my advice for you, my Internet friends: Come home from vacation itchy? DO NOT GOOGLE! Go to a doctor ASAP! You will sleep better. Trust me.

Now I am off to apply the anti-itch cream since my entire body is land mine of HOLY ITCH fest.

Trying To Let Go Of Perfection

Forever ago I was a little girl that found solace in caring for her dolls with big dreams of being a real Mom some day. I changed them daily, whispered sweet nothings in their little plastic ears, and found the comfort that holding a baby (even one that is stuffed with cotton and made of cloth) lent me. I was a perfect Mom to a perfect baby doll.

I'd line them up getting them ready for school. My sister would wipe clean the massive chalkboard my grandfather gave us, and we would teach our "students". Little kid roll play of a career we would both get degrees in someday.

We don't know what we are made of until we are looking back. We gain perspective we can't see when living in it. We live, we learn, from the very moment we are born. We live the exact life that was meant for us, with the exact lessons we were supposed to learn.

No matter how old I am, how far I go, or how well read I can make myself, I often still return to that space of holding my doll and dreaming of my future. In an instant of my adult life, I can return to my childhood. Post years of therapy, and sorting things out--POOF! I am 8 years old again dressing a cloth baby seeking solace.

This year my pure goal (not resolution because I never resolve a thing when I call it that) is to try and figure out how to be my most authentic self. Thirty four years in the making surly I got some parts of it down, but there is still a sense within that I haven't fully gotten it. The question that keeps arising is: Do we ever fully get it? Do we ever know our full life purpose until we are sitting on deaths doorstep? Am I already as authentic as I am supposed to be? Or is more expected of me? Am I living life as a fake? Who am I besides the little girl who always dreamed of being Mom?

The only difference between now and then is now my doll(s) are real. I purposely think about what I whisper into real ears, and how they are living and learning every minute of every day. Constantly thinking about who they are and who they will become. What will Rylan and Addison's authentic self look like? What will they look back upon and see broken?

My expectations of myself as a Mother are large. Since I am an overachiever at best in every area of my entire life, Motherhood is no different. So today when I lashed out at Rylan for not doing what I needed him to do because I was in a stressed out rush, I made sure I turned to my brown eyed boy and tell him I was sorry.

Even when you try to be perfect, you aren't. We wouldn't live if we were. Our trials and tribulations are what make us. My authentic self needs to let go of perfection.

Deliver Me Sunshine

The truth is I could spend a good month here and not think twice about Connecticut.

The direct sunlight, the ability to wear light jackets at night, grill, eat ice-cream in flip flops, swim, the ability to play outside with my kids, and the list goes on and on is enticing, but the best part is what it does to your spirit. This vacation has confirmed for me that warm weather makes me happy. I am pretty sure i am not alone in this feeling as I haven't seen my family smile this much in months.

Usually when summing up a vacation I am ready to get home, back to a routine, and "my life", this time it is the polar opposite. I am actually sad to leave this place (even though we are fighting a hefty fight against fleas in the house that are biting the hell out of Rylan and I). I could cry about getting on a jet plane tomorrow. I loathe snow, cold, and the Winter blues.

Boo hiss.

Farewell to Florida is breaking my happy heart and delivering it to Northeast Winter blues.

First thing on Monday is google jobs in the South. We belong where the ocean water is, and the sun shines more then it snows in the Winter.

And my sister will say "what about the big bugs, and snakes down there" and quite honestly, at this point I will even love and adore them if it delivers flip flop wearing weather.

I can even learn to love country music, and eat fried chicken.

Sunshine In January

The month of January seems out of the ordinary when spent in flip flops and spending the day at the beach. As much as it seems unnatural, it felt so completely right.

I ran 3 miles today right after the sun rose. Humidity seemed to be on high today, and I felt the motivation to get back into exercise fill me up. Not because I am excited about running 3 miles but because I ran it without noticing the distance. It is my all time favorite place to run. A huge park with a path around a massive lagoon. People smiling and saying good morning, and a sense of today is going to be a great day. It helped when the old man stopped to tell me I was loved by God. I felt I was where I was exactly supposed to be, running, outside, in 76 degree humid weather mid January.

Our vacation is escaping us as we have already hit our half way mark. We keep discussing how none of us want to go home (with hopes we will win the Florida power ball tomorrow so we can stay another month). We also keep discussing how over snow we are and that it might be time to get serious and move south. I have mentioned before that I feel my all time low is in the Winter. I can easily isolate myself, wear sweat pants for days possibly weeks, and become less then my "normal" self. I came here being much in that space, and then suddenly the sun began to shine, and that dark, hallow part of me suddenly lifted.

Sure I know no matter where you go there is good times and bad, but in my heart I just think I am meant to be at a place I can be outside more then in, I can see the sun outside more then the snow, and have the ability to run 3 miles and not notice it.

Anyway, not sure if this is realistic but we shall see. In the meantime, our vacation has been full of sunshine, ocean water, flip flops, ice cream, and collecting sea shells. We can't get Rylan out of the water, and Addison finally discovered the ocean is not all that bad (she spent the past few days afraid to get off of her towel in fear of getting wet and dirty). We are closing out this vacation with a day trip to Miami Sea Aquarium, a date night, and hopefully one more day beaching it before we return to our 4 feet of snow back home. There is already possible talks of coming back for Easter!

We will be savoring our last few days of sunshine. We are also taking note how incredibly awesome it is to travel some place warm in the dead of winter.

Ps. It is also noteworthy to add this is my first official post via IPad!

We Are Off To See The Sunshine

We are off to the airport with:

2 kids under the age of 5

2 bags to check in

3 carry on's

(one with a bag of "tricks" and the other with "snacks")

and 3 seats booked to our family even though we are a family of 4! That's right people... I get the luxury of having wiggly, "I want out" Addison on my lap! We had hoped the plane wouldn't be full but thanks to the snow storm it is WAY booked!

At least at the end of this day there will be sunshine, a reason to wear sunglasses, flip flops, and shorts.

In the meantime...pray for us. Our first time traveling with kids minus extra hands!

Target Deals!

I needed to get out of the house so desperately yesterday, that I made up a reason to go to Target. After days of sickness, and a massive snowstorm, staying in these same four walls began to make my skin crawl. So off I went with the kids, with semi messy roads, to Target for some last minute vacation things. When I walked in a huge sign declared I was actually there for so much more! "Clearance" in huge red letters perked my interest, and then so did the women who called out to me as she held a toy up, "$2.49". It was seductive talk to me, as I love a good deal. I tried to think of all the birthdays in the near future, and kids I buy for next Christmas, but all I good do is skim the aisles and pick a few great deals. A great deal like a $44 toy on sale for $11! SOLD! I picked up a few things and happily went on my way.

And then... I sent Pete on his way home from work for one more thing.

After... I found myself making a mental list of all those birthdays and kids to buy for.

Finally... I surrendered and went back today and totally cashed in on some amazing deals (like a $79.99 toy for $19.98!).

Here is what I got from all three trips:

I spent a total of: $116.12

The regular price of all items would have been: $318.40

For a total savings of: $202.28!!!!!

AMAZING right?

And now I can go on vacation without my head spinning with the "what if's" if I hadn't gone back! Apparently Target is doing this 75% Clearance sale all over the country! RUN and get yourself some steals and deals!

Focus Switch

I love that my focus has now switched from:

boots

shovel

sleds

hats & coats

to....

sunscreen

shaving

bathing suits

sunglasses

1 day til' we see the sun shine in Florida!

25 Inches

We got socked with a massive snow storm this week that dumped two feet of white stuff on our lawn! It was insane to see snow piled half way up the door , and watching the neighbors try to dig there way back to civilization. Our town was at a standstill, and our neighborhood looked like it should be placed in Maine.

Our neighborhood buried:
My backyard (don't think anyone will be swinging on the swings anytime soon):
Snowy Trees are so pretty:
Walking:
Us girls bundled up:
The snow is taller then Addison:
Rylan in his sled:
Pete called this "Portuguese Bob Sled"
SNOW DAY:
Enjoying her sled:
Rylan on top of the heaping amount of snow:
Snow bunny:
Our House Buried:
Ry couldn't even walk:
Frozen "Cheese" smiles:
Sled time:

Review Blog Update

Here is the latest on the review blog! Check out our families post holiday favorites!

This Weekend

2 bottles of antibacterial soap

10 rolls of toilet paper

1 tube of butt cream

1 pack of baby wipes

6 Bananas

2 bottles of Gatorade

Endless amounts of laundry

1 box of white rice

2 loafs of bread

1 stack of towels and face clothes

5 pairs of soiled pj's

Endless amount of toilet flushes

3 towels on "blessed" furniture

1/2 a bottle of ginger ale

and one man still standing unscathed.

A Reason To Take Your Vitamins This Winter

While on my optimistic mountain high, I was noticing that it was 8:15 am and Addison was still not awake. Normally by now she is yelling at me to get her breakfast ASAP, and yet I hadn't heard a peep. My mothers intuition suddenly thought: "I hope I don't walk into finding a very sick baby".

Enter valley low. A crib filled with vomit, and a baby with a frown and cover head to toe.

I turn the bath on and beg Rylan to fill it with toys and get Mommy the baby soap and a wash cloth. Earlier I offered him the ability to sing to her while she sat in the crib while I got the tub ready but Rylan said: "Mom, I don't want to. It smells P UUUUUU in there. Addie PUKED". Alas, smart boy. So I held my nose and did all I could not to vomit in retaliation to the pick up.

Addison was a trooper. You would never know she was sick minus the stomach bug crime scene in the crib, and her diaper. She keeps asking to eat, and is running around playing and laughing. I am left scratching my head wondering: "Why am I such a freaken baby when I have the stomach bug?" The thought then enters my mind: "Crap. THE STOMACH BUG!!! I must disinfect (although totally TO LATE), take vitamins (again TO LATE), and pray (please God another miracle this week! Please take into consideration that my family had that bug about 12,000 times last year! Let 2011 be a good one--I beg of thy)"

On top of dealing with "CODE RED: STOMACH VIRUS ALERT" at the formerly known as the Blue's Clues house (I like the sound of that--sort of like Prince renaming himself), it was a snow day with no school. The important clincher is that it is a snow day without SNOW. At least not in the a.m., it just starting raining white in the past hour! I was supposed to work today, but thanks to sick kid and no school, I am home creating a homemade pot of soup that I hope not to revisit in the middle of night on any of my family members beds, and Lysoling the entire house. Luckily, thanks to thinking I was working today, my father inlaw was home and able to take Rylan (with a hope and a prayer homeboy doesn't get sick there).

Reason #1 on why I hate Winter is not three feet of snow. It is the mother freaken' stomach bug. I would rather have a root canal, a sinus infection, heck maybe even a limb broken more then that.

I am trying to brace myself, while willing it away. If I hold my family hostage inside my house for the rest of the Winter using only Peapod for groceries, no play dates, and spending all of my weekly allowance on Purel, don't worry about me, I am just in combat mode.

Please send good healthy vibes our way. Or Imodium and members of the BRAT diet, because apparently both with be useful in our home.

Holiday Breakdown In Pictures

Here is a breakdown of our holiday happenings via pics in random order thanks to the random upload! Hope you enjoy them!

-We got snowed in while in Rhode Island! The kids enjoyed it so much!

Addie stands in the snow for the first time
cousins play
Addison in her new sled
Ry enjoying snow play
Giving his lil'sis a ride
A family walk
Snow Day!
Happy until she took a face plant after this picture
-My Dad's birthday is the day after Christmas! So we always celebrate Christmas/Birthday for my side of the family in RI every year. Here is some pics from that (minus the "party" because it had to be canceled due to the snow--so it was immediate family only this year)

Ava giving her lil' cousin an indoor spin in her new sled
Ava looking like she is going to cast a spell with her new chopsticks
"I like presents"
A sled and Yo Gabba Gabba is liking opening gold to this girl
Scooby Doo is like a million bucks to this boy
Ahhh presents!
-Earlier in December I went to Rylan's school to make gingerbread houses. He thought the frosting was superb
-Christmas Day I hosted the inlaws over for a small dinner, and a lot of unwrapping

Addison loving up her new doll (this picture reminds me SOOOOO much of a picture I have of myself at this age with a doll. I am going to have to find it and do a split screen)
Us girls and our PILES
Checking out her new princess sippy cup
-Christmas morning had many hits to it!

Like this new cleaning cart! Homegirl likes housework!
Ry and all of the "goods"
Opening stockings in matching pjs
Yo Gabba dvd is a SCORE
So is a "meow" in the stocking
A Snake book is a HUGE hit and has been used more then anything else since Christmas. Rylan is now a walking encylopedia on snakes
Smiling with Lostso from Santa
Climbing on her other favorite gift--kid sized chairs!
-Christmas Eve is always spent at my inlaws with family and friends

clearly she loves her beach toys! To bad Summer can't come sooner.
Daddy makes me laugh
Pretty dress