Stud Muffin

...it's fun to stay at the Y M C A

RYLAN LOOVVVVESSSSSS HIS SWIM CLASS! It is sick how much he is into it. The kid belongs in water...I am not sure while God made him into a man and not a fish.

This weeks crazy discovery was that he now can float on his back without assistance. I only gently hold his head so he doesn't accidently throw it back and water, and the rest of him FLOATS >>>>ALL BY HIMSELF. The other two moms in the group with little girls started grilling me today to tell them "what I do". I had to tell them that there isn't anything "I DO"..that my lil man is a mad man...not afraid of anything except for vacuum cleaners and hair driers! He also went on to row his hands in the water and KICK while floating on his back. He clapped a ton and chatted to me more then he ever has. And to top it all off HE PAYED ATTENTION. I learned today my son already has perfected the art of "tuning out". I thought he has attention issues,,,but really it is about if he WANTS to pay attention. In swim class he is a perfect student...at home he tunes Mom out.

His new found love has made me anxious to go every week and see him smile, squeal, and try new daring things. Next week grandma and grandpa Dos Santos will be joining us and taking PICTURES! Which of course will be blogged :-)

Stay At Home Mom...I must confess...

....is...as a fellow mom recently said "kinda boring".
This is the never ending debate...to work or not to work.
My working friends dream of staying home and my stay at home friends dream of not living in the movie Ground Hog Day (thank you Pam for this description it captures it perfectly).
After my miscarriage I put plans for our next child not on "hold", but on "nature". I am not trying to plan everything around time. In my perfect little head last year when I couldn't get my DREAM job thanks to my certification issues I had summed up a great plan. I would stay home another year and enjoy Rylan, while have another baby and enjoy him/her too, while getting certified. Well...as we all know my "plan" fell through and I am finally surrendering to the fact that I do not ALWAYS have control, although I very much would like too.
So I back to getting certified. I am taking my teaching exam next month,...which can I add is ridiculous. Apparently they think the schematics of table tennis, tap dance, and high school chemistry will make me a FANTASTIC Elementary school teacher. I kid you not...on the practice exam last night it went from "how do you break up a fight in the classroom" (I got that one from working in the boogie down Bronx BABY), to how to score table tennis. Since when do the kids play table tennis or tap dance in school? Can I also mention that besides this test covering all areas...how to teach, history of teaching, k-12 material in all subjects, GYM, Music, Art, and dance...it also cost a WHOOPING $225! If I fail I am SCREWED! Not to mention the 2nd test I have to take in the spring that is similar to the SAT that will be another $130.
This doesn't mean if I a pass I am 100% going back to work. I am just playing with the idea. If Easton, CT had another opening at that FANTASTIC AMAZING DREAM of a school...would I take it...probably. If our "inner city" of Danbury had one...not so much. It has got to be REALLY worth it for me to pry away from my baby boy.
Here is the deal...the grass is always greener. For your pleasure and my way to organize my thoughts here is my work or not to work list:

Top ten reasons to stay home:
1. I see Rylan day in day out and don't miss a thing
2. Rylan built blocks for the first time yesterday and today floated on his back by himself...and I was there to cheer him on.
3. I can wear sweat pants and don't "HAVE" to shower or do my hair
4. I can nap when he naps if I so choose to
5. everyday is like the weekend ...when I question "what shall we do today?"
6. Rylan loves his mom like no one else and I want to puke when I think the words DAY CARE
7. I can grocery shop when everyone else is at WORK..no crowds no lines...pure bliss
8. I can have playdate with other friends and have MOMS GROUP
9. I can clean the house and other annoying chores during the week so the weekend is filled with family time
10. I can spend time reading a book, e-mailing, scrapbooking or other fun hobbies when Rylan is into a video or napping

Top Ten reasons to go to work:
1. no more growing an ulcer over our debt or feel guilty feeding my Starbucks habit
2. I can actually use my years of education by having intellectual conversations
3. My masters degree's will not be used to try and figure out how to pin down an 18 month old to change a poop diaper
4. I can wear "career" clothes and not look like a slob
5. I will not repeat days over and over that was pretty much exactly the same
6. My job will include days off...this job never does :-) (teacher is the perfect job for mom with the summers off and all the other vacations!)
7. I can regain my passion for my career after years and years of fulfilling the requirements
8. I can talk to other adults about other things besides poop
9. I can get a housekeeper to clean the joint...instead of trying to do it myself while working AND spend quality time with my family (god knows I hate house work)
10. Rylan can have other interaction with kids and learn to be independent without his lurking MOM
So what is the right answer????
I HAVE NO CLUE...nor do I have a plan....
we shall see how I do on that test!

The stockings were hung by the fireplace with care..

Tonight was the official decorating for the season night. We put on some holiday music, and began to decorate our beautiful FAT tree. Once we began Rylan thought it would be fun to take off every ornament we put on that he could reach. Then when we turned our back he reached into our ornament organizer and grabbed a nice glass ball and like he-man he crushed in the palm of his hand. It scared him and he cried but luckily wasn't hurt. That is when Pete and I decided that family tree decorating wasn't for 18 month olds, and we retired him to bed. Now everything in the house is hung and looking festive. All we have left is outside...don't worry we don't own any blow up Santa's for the lawn or a gazillion lights...but I can't say the same for our neighbors! (YIKES)

Oh Christmas tree..Oh Christmas tree...

We're so HAPPY that we found you!


The fam and our tree


I want this Charlie Brown Christmas Tree


So happy to be amongst the trees


I choose the road less taken


Uncle Charlie makes me laugh!


Watch out...a 1 yr old in conducting that train!


Did someone say they needed an ELF?


My momma told me I was a STAR


Today was the start of our Christmas traditions. We got out of bed nice and early and headed out to breakfast with the inlaws, and the Pote's. After we filled our bellies we headed to Jones Farm. It is our favorite and the BEST place to go for a tree. Last year we attempted a few other "pick and cut your own" tree that was less pricey ...but after going realized WHY Jones cost more. Basically their tree's rock. My mother in law likes the "perfect" tree and always finds it. I like mine as FAT as possible and I always find it. The grounds are so pretty and they have a cute area for families to enjoy hot cider by the fire, and take cute pics in the cut outs. Our tree is now standing in our living room ready to be decorated in a few days!

Turkey Day minus Adam Sandler, plus days in Rhody=happiness

Singing in a moose sweater


HAPPY FEET


Rylan and his Great Grandma


Ry's Thanksgiving Dinner = baby puffs


Rylan and Christian doing their own Turkey song


The cousins on Thanksgiving


Rylan's 2nd cousin Henry


Rylan at the photo shoot


Kelly and I (with Kids)


We started on our journey to Rhode Island on Thanksgiving morning. Usually the roads are minus alot of cars (which this time they were packed), and we enjoy the ride listening to the first official time for certain holiday tunes. I am one of those people that associate everything with a song...Thanksgiving happens to be the start of great Christmas tunes...but TWO songs are a MUST on Thanksgiving. One of them takes forever to listen too and I used to relate to torture as a kid in my dads back seat on Thanksgiving day...but has now turned into a torturous traditon and that is Alices Resturant. The 2nd is my favorite...I find myself laughing aloud everytime and that is Adam Sandlers "Turkey Song". Sadly ...in three hours of driving..we never heard it. GASP. Thanksgiving was ruined! (not really but I missed it so)Hopefully next year the DJ's will get their ___ together and play me some ADAM!

Thanksgiving day went off without a hitch. My sister and borther in law hosted, and it was YUMMY. We all wished we had worn maternity pants with the elastic band and kept eatting. Rylan decided that Turkey, stuffing, and an array of caserols were not something to celebrate about. Instead he ate...I kid you not..ONLY an entire thing of baby puffs, and a few crackers. We also got to meet baby Henry for the first time (my cousin Greg's baby!)and got to visit with Henry's mom Kate about various mommy things and being a stay at home mom. Are day ended with a perfect delight...Christina and family came by for a visit since they were in town.It is always great to see their faces!

Friday we started the day out buying for Christina and Fam's white trash stocking. We started this exchange last year as a fun way to celebrate. And let me telling..I don't mean to start slinging mud....but I think we won this year! Once the stocking is opened I will take a picture and post it so you can all have a good laugh.
Then we went to the nursing home to visit my grandma, who I haven't seen in sometime and at moments worried I wouldn't get to...so it was a blessing. Especially to see her smile when she looked at Rylan.

Saturday we had a Christmas photo shoot at my sisters house for the Christmas cards (coming to a home near you). I don't want to spoil the cuteness so if I post a pic it will not be the one on the card! Then we went to visit my friend Nikki and her hubby John, who is soon expecting their first baby! Then off to CT we went. Making three days in Rhody great...and still no Turkey song!

RYLAN brings Joy

Who wouldn't look at this face and smile!
For as much as the toddler stage can stink (ex. tantrums, frustration, hitting, biting), it also has its joys!
He was so precious as a little baby and was so great to snuggle and enjoy...I miss that phase..but now we have entered FUN.
Now that he is his own little man on the move he entertains us with excitement about little things, and showing how he loves us so.
My Rylan isn't a talker. Compared to his friends and what the "books" say he is a bit delayed in his language development. So when I hear him say something I nearly want to jump out of my skin.
Today...at 6:30 am. I put on his cd player while cooking his breakfast. A song from his old music class came on and happens to be a favorite. My back was turned and suddenly I hear him say "clap clap clap" and was clapping. The songs little diddy goes like this" clap clap clap your hands clap your hands together". I nearly went through the roof jumping with delight that not only was he singing it...he was doing the actions, and understood it. These small things are moments that amazes me as a parent.
I used to get so excited when one of my students read for the first time, or one of my clients from the drug rehab days made their first 1 month marker clean...and I truly thought I would never feel more joy for those accomplishments...until they were my child's small accomplishments and realized this is a life we brought to this earth and a life I choose to stay home with and shape.
To me my boy is a genius regardless of the books! I will always be thankful for these moments and look forward to a lifetime of them with him!

You know that saying...

Treat people the way you would like to be treated...I'd like to scrap that and make it Do onto others as they do onto you.

I am going to spear you the details with this one for a variety of reasons but just want to note that I'd like to think I am a person that for the most part does the original saying. As a social worker, teacher, and mom, I think I have always tried to have compassion for others, and try to reach out to others and include them. Recently someone I am not really friends with but have tried to reach out to a number of times didn't return the favor. Certainly this hasn't been the first time in my life I felt left out and certainly won't be my last (and luckily I wasn't the ONLY one so it wasn't a "personal" left out)...but the difference is as I get older I take note of this and those that don't appreciate the original saying and think....why go out of your way...when you have so many people in your life that values you and returns the goodness in thoughts.
So I live in between those sayings.

Laughs from Sarah

As I posted some months ago, I am VERY thankful after many years of trying to find her, I reconnected with my old NYC gal Sarah. I had a long list of reasons for wanting to find her again...but my main one was to LAUGH.
Pete is officially jealous of another women. :-) I have often said she is the "funniest person I know" and has made me take it back and declare him as that person (he is close in the running). Then the other day I opened an e-mail from her while Pete was sitting near by and I was laughing so hard I was bent over crying, and nearly peeing my pants. (then considering how I could convince Pete to move to San Francisco so I could hang with her and laugh more! :-)) It was no "special" e-mail...as ALL of her e-mails makes me do this. I read a few lines out to Pete and he too had to fess up that this chick was freaken funny. Sarah and I have quite ...a different...sense of humor. It is mixed with alot of crudeness (not for the quesy or the uptight), and we LOVE to talk like we are rap artist. I know it sounds weird..but I am telling you if you read what we write back and forth it would make one blush...and then laugh hystrically coming from 2 white chicks with social work masters degrees! I am thankful to have her back in my life for a long list of reasons......but man that girl can make a bad day into a GREAT laugh! CHEERS to Sarah!

Sleigh Bells Ring ...are you listening

It is true. I have started.
Pete hauled all of our Christmas decor from this parents house to ours last night. I pulled down all of the Thanksgiving/Halloween/Fall decor...and well..started. I know I know it is not even Thanksgiving...BUT since we will be in Rhode Island this week AND we are getting our tree next Monday...I thought I better get prepared. Rylan LOVEs it. He takes anything with bells on it and shakes it vigorously (I took a video and will share when I get a moment to upload). He does get nervous when he sees him Mom teetering off of a chair on her tippee toes trying to hang things. He grabs my leg in hopes to save me. Little does he know that it just a few years he will be taking over the "tall" persons job of hanging. I also have come to realize that things like hanging stockings aren't exactly baby proofed. As you have seen before out fireplace is his stage...as I was placing the stocking holders on the mantel and hanging the stockings I envisoned him pulling the stocking and the holder falling on his head....and away they went.
Today we are on our way to our Moms group Thanksgiving party. I love this time of year because it is so easy to look around and find so many things to be thankful for.
It is also the kick start to my favorite holiday (Christmas). I look forward this year to having Rylan actually open gifts and having our first Holiday dinner at HOME.

A Weekend Filled with Favorites!

Big Bird

OHHH I love Sesame faces

Thomas the Train

Bob the Builder

WOW that one was COOL

Clifford certainly a BIG RED DOG

On Saturday we went out for some holiday shopping (luckily I am almost finished) and got THE BEST deals at Marshalls which made us leave singing a happy-joyus Christmas tune. Then I went to Michaels for some scrapbooking goodies that I have been meaning to pick up and they were all on SALE--BONUS! Then my kid started getting really cranky and then a light bulb went on and I realized...hmmmmm I haven't fed the monster in some hours. Pete surprised me when he said "Do you want to go to Panera bread?". You don't know how much this excites me so since my husband NEVER says such things...he is one of very few who DO NOT get excited about food and would much rather eat a "can of soup" at home. So off to one of my favorites--Panera..we went. (Panera almost rocks my world as much as Starbucks). Rylan nearly ate the plate he was so hungry the poor kid.
Then Sunday was even more FUN filled. We went to the "pre" Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. Apparently every year they do a "practice" run in Stamford CT. So off we went with a few Mom friends. Rylan loved it. He was so quiet and paid attention the ENTIRE TIME. Made me wish we had a parade for him to go to everyday. I even caught him hitting his cracker on the stroller to the beat of the marching band and he often went to hold his friend Noah's hand in excitment. Pete even enjoyed it and he HATES parades more then anything and reminded me the entire way there how he feels. It was such good times we actually discussed going yearly. I mean when else would you see GIANT Balloons (because lord knows are not going to NYC on Thanksgiving!). See other favorite photos of this event at www.ctmommas.blogspot.com

Shoe Obsession

My son has an odd obsession with his new shoes. Whenever they are not on his feet he some how comes across them and brings them to me while lifting his foot and going "eh eh eh"...which I guess in baby language means "yo B put this on my foot!". So tonight he did this while in his PJ'S! He is also obsessed with climbing onto our fireplace. I have given up on the battle (since you could battle on toddler on almost anything). He thinks it is his stage!

Featuring: The Pukey Lil' Mermaid

Our day started out quite nice. First Rylan actually ate his breakfast which is a change form the days prior as he thought it looked better on the floor! Then we went to swim class #2. The instructor informed me that she thinks my son is 1/2 fish. Which gave me visions of that movie Splash and people throwing water on my sons legs and them turning into a lovely flipper. Normally one would think a Mermaid wears a shell cupped bra and has long following hair, my Mermaid wears Pampers Baby Dry, and is only about 3 feet tall! You should have seen him today. They told me to lay him on his back and put his feet on my shoulders and my finger tips under his neck....at first he was not happy about this new found position of floating on his back...then he was addicted. THE KID WOULDN"T STOP. He loved having his ears under the water...meditating and humming with delight. When we tried other things to do he would fling his head back wanting more floating. He also is crazy on the side of the pool. He sits there and dangles his feet, and then suddenly jumps off. YUP he jumps! This must have upset his stomach a little because then he proceeded to PUKE in the pool (YUM). The instructor told me not to be surprised that my little man will be trying to swim UNDER the water by the end of this sessions swim class. AND and I thought I was just signing up for singing and pool play! Who would have thought a 17 month old could learn to SWIM.
Then...as I have started to make a routine out of this day...I stopped at the near by Starbucks (surprise surprise I know). I actually got a drink I never tried...and HATED IT. Yes I Aimee Dos Santos...addict of Starbucks...frowned upon a drink of theirs today. It was a peppermint mocha. It tasted like hot chocolate with an altoid in it and a syringe of medicine --YUCK. I did...as I always do...enjoy their low fat chocolate chip banana bread. I also was one of a few that was "selected" into a 1000 dollar drawing for my feedback of my "experience" (dear Starbucks your peppermint mocha SUCKS and BRING back the Gingerbread Latte in CT!). I am hoping I win the drawing so Pete can NEVER complain about my costly habit again!
Lastly...we ended the day with a trip to the pediatricians office which is ALWAYS a joy. First we waited for a 1/2 an hour in the exam room. Do you know how hard it is to entertain a 17 month old in an exam room. So I lifted him and let him flick the light on and off for 20 minutes hoping that it only controlled that room and that the rest of the place wasn't worrying there was a power outage. THEN the JERK DR came in. I say this because every time I am there he talks down to me like I am an idiot. Apparently after talking to other Moms he thinks women are dumb. Anyway...he checks Ry's ears and the infection is gone (after 20 days on antibiotics) but one ear has a bit of fluid in it. Then I tell him how he has been puking lately (like in the pool today) and this in concerning me about reflux reappearing its ugly head. Without listening to what I had to say he automatically put him on his old HARDCORE meds I worked my butt off to get him off as a baby. Not only that he gave him the PILL form on the prescription and told me to "break it up in food". HELLO I got a picky eating toddler that doesn't go for those tricks. I told him how I have this amazing pharmacist Paul at CVS that used to make it into a liquid for me when Ry was a baby...and instead of listening to a women he STILL wrote the freaken script for a pill. Paul called me and asked what the hell that script was about. I told him and he is trying to call him as I write this to tell the Dr I was INFACT correct. I was hesitant about the drug and called up his gastro specialist who I haven't talked with in about 7 months. The nurse said that "once a reflux baby always a reflux baby" and that although it went away from months things like antibiotics could make it reappear. So she backed up the jerk Dr...and Rylan will be back on meds for awhile...bummer.

I am not a drumstick

We went to our usual Momma's group this past Tuesday at our friend down the streets home (Kerri). Usually if I get there early it gives Rylan time to warm up so he is ready for all the kids to arrive. This time however he wasn't feeling it. After a pound of whining, a pound of falling, and an oz of poop in his pants, he decided to take a bite out of mom instead of crime. He bit hard and left his cute little teeth ring for many hours seen on my arm. I was PISSED. I yelled at him and he went to do it again a few times. It was my sign he had had enough. He went home and took his 2nd 2 hour nap of the nap, woke up at 6pm to go back down for the night at 8. He was sleepy, and had a poop in his pants which I guess gave him good reason..but I am still not a drumstick. I might have to go to the dollar store and get him one of those doggie chew bones so when ever he gets pissed off he can go bite that. I have a feeling however it isn't about the bite but who he is biting. UGH.

Mom's group was a little off for me too. Besides only getting a handful of time with the crew....I felt alone in a corner while most doubled up for chatter. Frankly I was just not in the "mood" either. I might have just woken up on the wrong side of the bed. I think I have just realized that when you put a bunch of women in a group together that not everyone will be so cohesive as others. Men have different types of friendships and acquaintances, They can drink with anyone, make small talk and move on. I used to be good at the men way...but I am getting worse as I get older. I always preferred depth in my life...surface doesn't cut it for me. There is still a few moms I would love to get to know better outside of the group...which is hard...because believe me when I tell you that although we are at home moms we all have bumpen schedules.

After being bitten and moody, I spent the night scrapbooking with my mother in law and her friend. This is what the outcome was:




I am very happy with the way it turned out!

I'm taking Sassy back

Here are some pics from the weekend! Featured: My "Sassy" hair (the the $40 worth of products to make it this way), Rylan snugging his Dad, and Rylan Chillen on his Sesame Street pull out sofa!

The 1st time pregnant blu's, and a weekend of Relaxation

We started Saturday morning with a family outing to the local diner for some grub. Rylan has a new nick name of the "Bacon Bandit". HE LOVES IT. His manners are not so great in a restaurant at almost 17 months. Typical toddler throwing food on the ground and needed to be set free. I pretended I didn't know him or his father when his father let him go to the front of the place and Rylan sucked on the window. (this is how desperate we get to keep our child quiet!)
While they were toodling around I noticed this cute couple in the corner. She had a nice ROUND basketball of a belly that she couldn't keep her hands off of....and neither could her delighted- soon to be dad-husband. It made me think about those moments Pete and I had while pregnant with Rylan. All of the excitement, and everything amazing and new. Also not knowing how much your life is about to change. No longer can you enjoy a breakfast of 2...instead you to will soon have your kid sucking on the window trying to keep him/her quiet I thought. It was a beautiful moment to have caught in a strangers life, that oozed memories of similar moments I had in my own 1st pregnancy. Something that will never be "remade". Recently a mom friend and I discussed this...and how we can not wait to be pregnant again but think our expectations are to have the same type of pregnancy we did with our first. However this can not happen we thought...because it is no longer "NEW" and we know what is to "Come". I am sure we will be excited but it will be different. If you are reading this and it is your first time pregnancy...ENJOY every moment...especially those special ones with your significant other.
Pete and I did get our "ALONE" time later that night. After getting (as Pete calls it ) a "SASSY" haircut to match my "sassy" personality, we went out for margaritas and Mexican.
Rylan picked us some great new habits this weekend. When he poops his pants he screams now because he doesn't like it hanging around in his pants. When he wants you to do something or get something he wines like a puppy. When over his grandparents house he now shakes the bird cage and makes the birds tweet in fear. He also found on that he can escape through the doggy door at their house. And lastly...the most devilish of all...he has learned to get rid of frustration by smacking himself and others. When two of his friends (2 little ladies) came over for a visit and played with a few favorite toys he let them know with a smack. I already have to teach my son that he CAN NOT smack women no matter how much we get on his nerves!
We end our weekend with nothing on the agenda Sunday. Except Pete was kind enough to let me sleep in BOTH days this weekend. He knows I need my beauty sleep WAYYY more then he does.
(Pics from the weekend will come later today--including "Sassy hair")

Talking in the 3rd party and the Alpha MOM

These are two things a Mom has to deal with.

I have hard time when family members or "more" experienced (or so they think) friends say things like "tell mommy your feet are too cold and need socks"...when I am standing right there. Or my favorite.."tell my you need a snack or a drink"...well who the heck do you think has fed this kid for over 365 days already! If you are a "tell mommy ___" YOU MUST STOP. NOBODY AND I DO MEAN NOBODY likes it nor appreciates it. It really makes us moms feel like we aren't worthy of the "good" mom corner. And the next time someone says this to me I am going to say (or want to say) "Tell ____ that they can take their opinion and stick in their #@$"...How about that for mom of the year?

Next thing...the Alpha mom. You know the one at the playground that was wearing a brown shirt, you wore black, and then the next day she is wearing a black shirt but a BETTER version. It is the "keeping up with the Jones" mentality. For as much as I am sometimes ...ok all the time...a control freak and often a type of "ALPHA mom". Contrary to what most may think...I AM NOT in any way in competition. First of all there isn;t a grand prize, I have no money for the running, and frankly I like my pony tail, my sweat pants, AND my bad attitude! LOL Granted I am an admirer of the fashion plate skinny mom I WISH TO BE! If I was in NYC I am sure I would be more into running for first place. I do try to be social and coordinate as much as I can...partly for my own sanity of getting out of the house and the other is for everyone else's sanity. So I guess there may be many types of Alpha moms...the competitive and the non-competitive...How can I compete in a pony tail and sweat pants...really? Maybe a nominee for frumpy mom? If I become skinny again maybe just maybe I will be wearing the fashion plate black shirt, pumped up with makeup and a small ass!....ahhhh...what a dream that would be (the small ass part that is!)

Check me out

A few of his favorite things--paci, blankey, pop up toy, and an octopus that squeaks

A new hat is better then a helmet around the house

Dashing through the snow...

So today mid-driving..I was in the mood to hear new tunes in my car. I pulled to the side of the road...and to mine and your surprise...decided that Christmas music would make an appearance.
I LOVE Sarah McLachlan album she put out last year "Winter Song"- http://www.amazon.com/Wintersong-Sarah-McLachlan/dp/B000HBKCDC. FANTASTIC. Yes I was singing Christmas tunes to my son in the car....BEFORE Thanksgiving has even passed...but I kept thinking..why should I enjoy this cd for only a month...because you know after Jan 1 all Holiday music is shelved! So I decided Nov 1 (or 9th like today) for now on will be my debut of Christmas music for cheer and for loving my cd's a little longer. I mean after all I am almost DONE with all of my Christmas shopping!
Here is a video of her performing my favorite song on the album!

Two four letter words Rylan LOVES

POOL and SWIM

We Started swimclass today at our local YMCA. I was a bit nervous for a variety of reasons!
1. it was nap time and he has yet to adjust to the time change
2. I never had been there and did not know anyone in the class
3. Rylan hasn't been in the water for months...would her still love it?
4. getting him dressed/undressed AND myself in a locker room...YIKES
Luckily all of my fears went away the moment we went into the room with the kiddie pool. Rylan shook all over and began to complain because he wasn't IN the pool yet. Finally it was our turn to go in and he squealed like a pig in mud. Today we learned how to kick our feet, go under water, jump off the side of the pool (kid you not), and pull ourselves out of the pool (kid you not). Rylan did great. Although he does not pay attention long enough to imitate. The teacher said...you blow bubbles...your kid will blow bubbles...yeah right my kid just wants to POP the bubbles I am blowing. Then it was you go under the water and your child will go under. Which he did but I made him...and he could careless he drank the pool. The instructor only allowed him to go under 2 because I guess until they can control their own breathing under water it isn't good for the lungs. Then we played "humpty dumpty"...which as you know...fell off a wall. Which Rylan did into my arms and squealed more. Then he was pulling himself out of the water onto the side and continuing to try to jump. The end of the 30 min class ended with us parents (only 2 of us in the class) floating on our backs with our 25lb children on top of us...ummm yeah...that didn't go over well. THANK GOD I decided to do it with Rylan..because ...for a lack of better words...Pete isn't a swimmer and when I try to teach HIM to float on his back he is like an anchor. Rylan pulled a temper tantrum when we got out and left the pool area. Once in the locker room he was an angel...a sleepy angel. We went in the shower to wash off, and got warm clothes on and called it a day! We both look forward to next week!
Here is a photo of him in the locker room

m!

Latte, Chi, OHMY

And you thought my last post about Starbucks would be my last!
Today after Rylan's swim class I was delighted to be driving by a Starbucks (the nearest one is 20 minutes away). When I get through the door I am practically shaking with delight. What will it be for today's tasty treat? Latte, Chi, or Frappachino? hot or cold? ...I noticed this first:

Yes indeedy...they have begun featuring their Christmas cups which means CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY SPECIALTY DRINKS! (you would think I won the lotto!) I automatically thought of my sister...who nearly pees her pants every year when they feature the "gingerbread latte" (see I am not the only freak in the family that gets all excited over Starbucks!). So I look...WHAT NO GINGERBREAD LATTE this ear---only Eggnog, Peppermint, and the "NEW" one which is Shortbread. I huffed and puffed at the barista who explained to be the "Shortbread" one is a "Special" one to Fairfield county in CT because only 2 counties in the USA (this one and CALI) are featuring it! (so if you see it ...let me know because it means this women was blowing smoke up my you know what because I was pissed about the gingerbread). I gave in and tried the shortbread. Very yummy....but not gingerbread. I do LOVE the cups though!

Whats time got to do with it?

I forget how much the time change can really put a wrench in ones daily grind.
Luckily Rylan hasn't been waking up in the middle of the night like some of his little friends...but he is off is "norm". Luckily today I took him to the mall for 2 hours inorder to keep him awake and it worked....today he went to sleep at normal nap times ! This was important because tomorrow we add to our weekly schedule with a 10:30 SWIM CLASS. It will be our first experience and hopefully a smoothe one!
Rylan also got his first Stride Right sneaker and shoes today. 1 pair for the playground and 1 for everything else. We got his foot measured and he is already a 6 1/2 which is NUTS when most of his friends aren't even a 5. And here is a picture for everyone to enjoy his cuteness:

The backside of LOVE

Anything for Rylan

The past few days have been filled with reflection. I am not sure why all of a sudden my brain has decided to do so much thinking ....but it is. In the mix of wanting our own house and Pete wanting a new car so bad....I have come to realize what a great choice we have made for our family. Instead of wanting material things...we have chosen our son first. After watching my mom not only raise Kelly and I...I saw her raise a TON of kids in her daycare with parents that worked long hours. My mom even had bath and pj duty with a few of them. It used to make me sad as a kid growing up watching these kids come in our home and only see there parents for wake up and bedtime...never a meal...never playtime...never a story...just on the weekends. I also saw first hand how attached those kids were to my mom. I know that many have NO choice and MUST work in order to keep the family afloat...but some seem to put the "good life" and career in front of shaping a life that they brought into this world. I am not here to judge those working mom's out there at ALL...most have an incredible balance of mom and worker(like my friend Christina who makes a point to make her weekend all about her family, and after work focuses on playing with her son and basking in his smile)...but I have also seen a few that are so caught up in career mode that they expect others to raise their child and be there for the "important" stuff.
Now as you all know I spent YEARS in school and very dedicated to being a social worker and a teacher. I LOVED my career and the fast pace of New York City. But when Rylan came into my world..my priorities were no longer about me. It didn't matter that I love to teach...or love to shop and have extra money. It mattered that I raise my son to be the man I hope he will be someday. It mattered that I shared every "important" stuff moment that happens day to day.
We struggle tremendously to stay above water with only one income. But somehow we manage...and if we end up with a HUGE sum of credit card bills..well..we will pay them off when I go back to work when Rylan is in school. These first few years can not be replaced or bought.
I have those days when I desperately miss working...and them I look at Rylan and see him smile at me and think....I am the luckiest women alive.
He also makes me come out of my shell. For someone who used to be such a home body all the time...I now have a group of mom friends with similar family values that I would be lost without. I also have to "step out of my comfort zone" sometimes...as he is starting swim class this Thursday at the YMCA and I have to put my "mom" body in a bathing suit and take this class with him alone.
But this is what you do...you forget about you ...focus on your child..and make sure they have an upbringing that someday they can look back at and want to repeat it with their own kids.

Cutest Super Hero's EVER

This is my Goddaughter Zayla and her new brother Kayden--ready to fight and save the world!

Gone Baby Gone

After needing a well needed "date night", Pete and I decided to have dinner and go see a movie. We both were excited to see "Gone Baby Gone" directed by Ben Affleck and in one of my favorite cities I dedicated many years too...Boston (not to mention the home of the Champions of the World Series--Go Red Sox). If you plan on seeing this movie and don't want to know too much consider this your SPOILER ALERT before reading the rest of this post.
The movie...was...disturbing. At first it made me smile because Affleck captured so much of what Boston communities are, and if you never have lived in one or worked in one you would not appreciate this aspect. The thing about certain communities in Boston is they live by that term "Snitches get Stitches". It is hard to pry information as an outsider from anyone that is in the "inside" of that community. People there die with a laundry list of neighborhood secrets that are forbidden to be told. This is not discussed it is just "known". This movie began to remind me of my former life...which seems to be decades ago in comparison to the one I have now. It brought back alot of thought...and uncomfortable subjects that I dealt with as a social worker.
If you don't already know...this movie is based on a kidnapping. The underlying moral of it is: Who deserves to be a parent and why. This is a question our society relives all the time. And as a parent now, and a "former" social worker this makes me scratch my head. Affleck made a point in the movie that makes the audience think...is this child better off with the kidnapper then the actual parent? I confess I thought this...I actually thought this. This would make so many of my social work professors and fellow co-workers of the time cringe.
This made me think all the way home...and was the first thing I thought of when I woke up. I kept thinking about my experience in that community....when a 13 yr old came into a drop in center I was working in -in South Boston, and she was over dosing from heroin. As I was trying to keep her from sleeping I asked her how long she had been on it, how much did she take...the usual list of questions and she informed me that she learned from her MOTHER and got it from her too. A very sad story of a continuation of a family disease of substance abuse. I also ran a group that had 7 yr old boys in the community that are "affected" in some way. When I asked them to draw "drugs"...I ...nieve...and in my last year of college...expected them to draw cigarettes and alcohol...instead I was littered with papers filled with heroin, crack, and cocaine. Years later I had another case at the homeless center I worked in with this young girl Katie that I will never forget. She was from Charlestown which is a community very much like the one I spoke about above. She was sexually abused by her father for years. It stopped at a certain age and she continues to sleep with a 3 inch knife under her matterss just incase he changes his mind someday. Her mom "coated" the situation by being a nurse and getting her hooked on vicadin. Her mom even went on to SELL them to her for $5 a pill. She was 18 when she was my client and luckily I helped her get a place of her own...but never got her to place where she was ready to kick the habit or deal with her pain and her parents. I was the first person she told about the abuse...and it was to late to be reported since she was old enough to "decide" not to prosecute and old enough to "decide" to stay.
The thing is....not every child in this world is brought into stable homes. As much as we as a society think they should be...they are not. There is no license to be a parent and no limit (or Britney would have been turned down). Everyone has a right to be one...within legal rights. I understand that it is easy to assume that the drug addict isn't fit nor should have the right to parent...I felt this while sitting in this movie...as a parent myself. But..there are millions of people daily that fought the disease of substance abuse...and not alone. Many fight to become sober in order to parent and stop the disease that often passes through generations. I think in the end...it is up to the court and the social workers hired in each particular situation to decide the right to parent. It isn't our right nor our job as fellow parents to decide who is "fit". But it IS our right to call and report suspicion to those that can judge. Nor is it ever right to "kidnap" a child in any given situation, but it is right to advocate for the child in need.
The shoes I fill today are so different then the shoes I have filled in the past. That person I used to be...the advocate...the loud mouth...the person in the "trenches" has been gone for some time. I will always value the guts I used to have...the compassion I had for others before I harden a bit...the empathy I oozed...and how naive I was in trying to see the good in everyone. After years of devoting myself to helping others and working in drug rehab...somehow I have evolved to a new person that just could not do it the same if I was to do it again.
At least I know that one day...
I kept a 13 year old alive ...even if for one more day...and got an 18 yr old out of the house her father abused her in, and the mom sold her drugs too. This stuff doesn't ONLY happen in the movies, nor is it ever truly talked about.
A very different reality then my day to day concerns of play dates and mom's groups are filled with. A lil reality check...that the world isn't so cookie cutter.
Thanks to Ben Affleck for that!