Weekend of LOCO Co-Co Commotion

*Friday was the day Mommy nearly lost her hair! I was stressed with my long to-do list for the upcoming party the next day that I forgot to shower. In the midst of me running around, I dropped the boy off at my in laws while my mother in law and I headed to Costco's for the last minute pick me ups. While searching the aisle for the biggest bag of chips I could find, we got a phone call from my father in law. My mother in law's face drops as she tells me Rylan was hurt. Rylan had fallen onto a jagged rock while tossing rocks into a creek at their house. I knew it was bad since my father in law used to be a medic in the army and NEVER over exaggerates these types of things. I call his pediatrician for some guidance and they tell me "we'll call you back". I jump in the car --alone-to go see my baby! I get lost on roads I had been on a million times, and start feeling the panic take over me. I gear myself up for the worst and walk in to see my son on his grandfathers lap watching tv. His face looks like he was just ultimate fighting. My father in law looks white as a ghost, and before even hugging my child, I turn to him and ask my father in law if HE is ok. I could tell he felt guilty and a assured him this could happen under ANYONE's watchful eye--AND I was HAPPY it was HIS. There was so much blood and I could tell he did his best to hide it (his clothes were already in the wash) and streaks of "tried to pick it up before Mom comes" were seen. I appreciated that. Especially for the fact he STOPPED the bleeding all together. The Dr.'s office called me back and told him to take him into the ER. We did. Lucky for us, a two year old with a gash in his face gets you in quicker, and we didn;t even wait in the waiting room. Rylan was strapped down, had four stitches in his young little face, and his other laceration was to big that he needs to go to a specialist. I opted to wait outside of the room while it was being done, and I am so thankful I did, as he made noises that made me SOB and I can not promise I wouldn't have jumped on the bed to hold him had I been in there. Moments later of course he forgot about it, and has been smiling since. Today we go to the plastic surgeon..not for Mommy's wishful tummy tuck, but for a consult on the gash that couldn't be saved by stitches. I am taken back by the fact he has christened his second birthday with stitches.

*Saturday we woke up with the birthday boy who looked like Rocky. After some many hours of getting everything ready for the party that we didn't get done the night before thanks to the unexpected ER run, we hosted a FABULOUS party. Both Pete and I had friends we barely ever get to see! We had 18 kids in attendance, and an abundance of fun parents that seemed to like the Bud Lime's! Rylan seemed unfazed of the gazillion people at his house! The weather held up, and the food turned out as planned. And I actually enjoyed myself instead of feeling stressed out. The end always stinks when it is clean up time, and my feet felt like they were about to fall off thanks to being on them all day and socializing. Pete and I didn't even need to think about sleeping before we were asleep. It was a blast!

*Sunday consisted of party #2 at the in laws house. By then the three of us were all partied out and just wanted a nap. In the end Rylan got some great gifts, had a great time, and enjoyed a birthday weekend with pictures that look more like a mug shot!

(pictures from the weekend to come!)

Happy 2nd Birthday Rylan

Dear My Sweet Boy,

Two years ago I set my eyes on the sweetest little baby a girl could ask for. All snugged up in a blanket like a burrito, you studied me, as I studied you. Moments ago you had swam in my tummy, and been a part of me and who I was day to day. One of my fondest memories was the first time I felt you move inside me, and realizing you were a part of my being. Soon you began to grow bigger then my heart, which meant so much because I loved you more then my heart could possibly hold. The day you were born was the first time I understood LOVE and FAITH. God had blessed me with the most perfect gift in life. He cloned my heart, and gave it a sweet little face, two tiny little hands, and feet. The world was suddenly scary to me, thinking about letting such a part of me roam and be on it's own. To this day I wish I could still protect you in my tummy, and I am sure I always will. June 28, 2006, was indeed the best day of my life (and your daddy's too). We love you through and through.

It is amazing how time has passed so quickly and and I'n trying to hold onto it. Wasn't it just last month I was up all night feeding you? Wasn't it just last week you took your first steps? Wasn't yesterday you began to pat my back when I hugged you and go "ohhhh"? The other day when I was thinking about you turning two today, I snuck a look in the back seat as I was driving and saw your chubby little hand. How long? ..I thought...will it be chubby? I shed a few tears thinking about how much you have grown, changed, and become less ME and more YOU. You are no longer the fetus I held so secure, you are no longer the infant I first layed my eyes on, and I am sure in just minutes you will be a man telling his Mom to stop embarrassing him by saying things like "my baby is all grown up" while sobbing.

There are a few things I want you to know that will never change no matter how old you get:
1. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me
2. I love you more then word and actions could ever possibly describe
3. No matter where you go in life, or what you do....you will ALWAYS be a part of me, and I will ALWAYS be with you
4. Your smile melts my heart, and you love me more then anyone could ever feel loved.
5. You are my world

Happy 2nd Birthday My Ry Ry! It is a celebration for us both! You get the gifts, and I get the joy of seeing my baby grow!

I love you.
Mom

You Should Have Seen The Other Guy

Rylan had his first stitches today:



Rylan is FINE. Mom is RECOVERING.

More info in later post!

A New Day Has Come

It has been three weeks of working out daily and eating better. I, my dear friends, am 9 pounds lighter!
I am so excited about this, and feel so euphoric, that I want to dance around in my birthday suit and post it on the Internet as a celebration of making my way out of the FAT SUIT. However, I am still overweight and I am pretty sure it would make most readers gag a bit, AND of course I would hate for my son to be in high school plagued with the fact his mom can STILL be found on the Internet dancing to "Pump Up The Jam" in nothing more then sunglasses. I know it is only a mere 9 pounds, but in my mind it feels like thousands. So much as changed in the past three weeks, way more then just a few measly pounds shedding off my ba-dunka-dunk.

I am very thankful for this blog. The fact that it has brought people to see the very essence of who I am--in all my --good the bad and the ugly--glory. I am thankful that Sporty Spice happened to be a reader, and understood me. I have always been the one doing for others in my life--my careers was full giving and never taking. It was nice for once to accept someone doing something nice for me. Someone honestly trying to help, and support me, without expecting anything in return. The bonus was not only did I get motivated to get fit, I gained a friend. I didn't know Sporty that well before all this began, and now that I do know her I think "Damn I wish I knew she was this cool before". She is CLEARLY one of "my type" of people. I always feel a great sense of relief when I meet people I can relate to and get me without explanation.

Who knew all I needed to hear from someone is "You can do it. If I can do it, you can do it.". Ever since those words were spoken to me..I have done it. Prior to this I thought there was no hope. I used every excuse in the book to say I was not "able" to work out...when really I just wasn't "willing". Really it was fear of doing it, not doing it right, and feeling worse then I already did. I am going to be one of those people that can tell others: "You can do it. If I can do it, you can do it."

The truth is..even when I was a size 0...I was unhealthy. The world focuses so much on weight when determining health. When in reality, when I looked healthy, I was feeding my insides with nothing but crap. I have come to a place where I have realized that eating and moving were two key things to making your body function correctly. I am not only 9 pounds lighter, I am in better space mentally, and feeling better physically. It is all encompassing. I used to laugh at those books for weight loss that started with: "Your body is your temple...treat it as such"...it sounded so corny. I know now it is true. Your body only works and feels as good as you treat it.

A new day has come to get me here. I still grumble when it is time to work out. I still try to avoid working out with Sporty and accepting her to kick my ass. Every time I do things that still make me uncomfortable but I know is good for me...I not only feel great in the aftermath, I feel growth.

Just When I Thought I Was Tantrum Safe

I woke up this morning to this little blessing:

My handsome little devil (devil starting to become a NOUN when referring to him these days). As he throws his pancakes in the air, I think about how I can keep both of us happy today. I start with trying to MAKE myself a iced caramel latte-fat free style:

The "new" machine I acquired on the job last weekend is so 1990's it isn't funny! Not only did it come with a VHS tape of "how to's", it also has a BIG warning on the directions that says "DO NOT USE ESPRESSO GRINDS"--ok is it just me or is it weird for an espresso machine to have such a warning? So I had to use regular grinds, hoping it would come out stronger...and it didn't. The latte was lame.
I didn't let the lame latte deter me from having a good day. I changed Rylan and I into our swim suits and headed out back. He wore his life vest without any complainants. He spent two hours splashing and kicking, while I sat by the pool in my beach chair with my lame latte and a good book. I read a book for 2 hours while my kid flopped in the water! How great is this day? I thought. (ahh this is where I think I jinxed my ass) Here is Rylan enjoying his pool with his cousin Ava's "pool coat" on:




He then blessed me with a 3 hour nap. Usually I take this time to work out, and clean. Today I took it by reading a book in the sun.
When the prince awoke, we were off for a haircut. AHH the dreaded haircut experience. For the most part he was ok. He sat there and took it like a man while crying like he was dying. I still thought it was a success since he walked out with a FULL haircut and normally there is still some long part of his hair dangling somewhere because the barber gave up! This I thought meant he deserved an M&M and cow sighting. I called my mother in law up to go to the farm for some ice cream and cow spotting. It was an enjoyable time minus the fact they didn't have any enjoyable frozen yogurt flavors and I was "forced" to have regular ice cream. Here is Rylan showing me where the cows are:


To end out completely fantastic tantrum free day, we took a walk with our neighborhood friends Kerri and Ashley and their new dog (which Rylan loved). After this walk our seemingly perfect day began to unravel.
I know I have beaten the discipline tantrum horse on this blog the past couple of days--but bare with me people--I need to release this frustration somewhere.
My little devil started humming magnets at my head (and is you have seen him lately you know he has tremendous aim). I stick him in the corner for a time out and turn my back to stand there and assure he stays. He giggles and inches toward me to kick me. I scold him, and place him back, and this goes on and on until "time out" time is up. After dinner he begins to hum his pasta with spaghetti sauce all over the dining room. After I picked up macaroni off of my dining room upholstered chairs, and my WHITE table runner, I step into a bunch of sauce he splatted on the ground. I am so massively sick of this habit that I have been told to "ignore" since it was getting worse when I paid attention to it and scolded him. Now I have learned I am screwed either way. If I ignore it --he'll do it, if I don't--he'll do it. What is the solution? go back to feeding my kid baby style with me by his side making sure every bite gets in the princes mouth? I get him in the bath and he starts pouring the water out of the tub onto the bath mat. I take him out and tell him bath time is over if he can not listen. He is pissed and KICKS ME IN THE FACE. My sister is on the phone and hears me and my demonic yell at him. I watch him shiver at my yell, thinking maybe he actually heard me. Instead he giggles and goes to hit me. I put him in time out again and turn the tv off. He points to the tv and has a tantrum. I explain to him that when you are a bad boy you don;t get to watch your favorite Disney dvd for the 546 time. We then are off to his room for bed. I try reading him a book to calm both of us down. He kicks it and yells. I toss him in bed. He screams. I tell him you don;t get to listen to books when you kick and hit, I love you, and I will see you tomorrow. He is asleep within minutes of whimpering.
Today was a great day until 5:30pm. Suddenly the flood on insecurities of motherhood start in and I think, do I suck, or is my child broken? I pray one of these days we get the discipline thing right, and that Rylan adjusts better, and I feel more confident in my mothering skills. I pray one day I can blog and not have to complain about my kid, and instead brag about him. The worst part is he melts my heart. In the worst of moments when he smiles at me I get weak. I try hard to stay strong and do what I HAVE to do in order to set boundaries, but I see his doe eyes and want to love him up. This is a hard gig. One I am not sure how to perform at.

Debbie Downer Counts Her Blessings Too!

The day started out with a wanna be latte. I broke out my new FREE espresso machine, and lined up all the ingredients: Dunken coffee, fat-free Half and half, fat free caramel, and fat free redi whip. I even used a martini shaker with ice to make it all "shaken not stirred". I was proud of it when it was all made, and I joyously took a sip....and thought "this sucks". I drank it because I need to the caffeine today thanks to a little man about 3 feet tall that decided to kick my butt out of bed early today. There is no way this "homemade mix" can compete to the "bought" kind. I am going to have to keep trying because not only can I NOT afford the latte's, my butt can't either with all the fat they have in them! So the quest for the right concoction is still on.

The caffeine didn't help the foul mood I was awaken with today. I simply had an imbalance of hormones and a pole shoved somewhere. I was wishing I could argue with someone today? You know you have those days. I didn't find any takers, but I did get an e-mail from someone that said to "take a walk and get the pole out". I'll give you one guess who this person is who is telling me the freedom of letting go bitchiness is to WALK. I told her she has all sorts of butterflies and rainbows coming out of her end today! In the midst of my harden mood, Rylan thought it would be fun to skip a nap, not eat lunch, and fling his yogurt all over my beautiful Mac Book keyboard. He then treated me with about 4 melt downs because this beauch wouldn't give him a snack even though he not only didn't eat, but threw his lunch all over the room. Soon after an abundance of "when you wish upon a star" Disney dvd's, I put him back in bed. Let's face it, if I didn't one of us wouldn't last until the end of the day and I am pretty sure it would have been me. He slept for 3 hours and I had to WAKE him up for his dinner at 6. I cringed at the thought of what was to come for bedtime, but luckily it is 8pm and I can still hear him humming, but he is still.

Along with the foul mood came my 13 year old teen pimple face. I have not seen such acne in decades. It is sick. In the midst of feeling such hotness, I decided I need to do a little something for ME this week since I am flying solo this week in the parent department. I am getting my haircut this Thursday. I also pushed myself for a work out today, even though I wanted to punch the little sweet thing on my On Demand Exercise tv who was telling me "15 more" while she was barely wearing a g string. I can not help but think of the forbidden C word when I see her--but man I get a good work out in my arms when it's done and for that--a little naughty C word is worth it.

To avoid ending this post as Debbie Downer and making sure you all know I am not taking my life for granted. I watched a Tivo'd Oprah last night on terminal cancer and came across this inspirational speech that you MUST watch:

It has been so easy lately to be moved by people places and things. After watching this and thinking about the fact that this man was going to die and leave his three kids behind, and his wife would be a single mom for not just a week--but for life. I might complain. I might kick and scream. I might be hormonal and irrational at times. BUT I am grateful. I have a good life, surrounded by good people, good things, and have been blessed with the ability to count my blessings.

Thanks For Coming To Rylan's Birthday--Have a choking hazard and some lead paint!

Is anyone else bothered by the new corny arse song that the New Kids On The Block has released? I mean how is it ok for these very grown men in their 30's and 40's to be singing about a cute girl in a tank top on the beach and getting her number, with a bubble gum--Hannah Montana beat in the back ground? I mean it's sorta creepy. Plus..they can not compete with the Jonas Brothers. I mean are they really trying to aim their 40 yr old bod to be the next teen hot throb! BEEN THERE DONE THAT--some 15 years ago! I am not sure why this song perturbs be so--maybe because the fact it is just plain out BAD music--but more so that they can re-live that time in their lives--that passed many moons ago. It is like going back to high school, and trying to date a 13 year old--ewww--just gross.

In other news, my son likes it when I read to him in the deepest--most satanic voice I own. He giggles like it is the funniest thing he has ever heard. I thought when I first gave it a whirl it would scare him--but instead it back fired and now he wants me to read every book like we are acting it out in Dante's Inferno. BOYS

Thankfully there are some Mom's out there that heard what I had to say in one of my last posts, and are feelen my pain. I can not tell you how much I have been torturing myself over my kids behavior. I can not tell you how much I feel like everyone is watching and thinking I totally suck as a Mom. When I got a few phone calls today telling me differently I felt I needed to hear it, but still worried they were lying. The thing about this parenthood thing is--you always second guess yourself, and no matter how many times you tell yourself that others opinions of how you parent don't matter--they do. I had always envisioned being a "smooth sailing" parent after social work, nannying, and teaching--funny thing is--nothing can prepare you until it is your own AND nobody is a smooth sailor. I keep trying to tell myself that this is our rough patch, and others will get theirs too someday, as no kid or parent is perfect. In the meantime, can I ask you PLEASE, if you see me, or talk to me, and I look like I am about to break down in tears--just remind me of something--anything I AM doing right. It is so hard not to beat yourself up when it comes to parenthood and sometimes....I am just afraid to parent. It is without a doubt the hardest job I have ever had--and the worst part is...there is not right or wrong--no handbook--nothing that fits every child. Luckily I have two outlets to let out my frustrations---this blog--and ...working out. My times have changed since just about 3 weeks ago it would have been this blog, and some mammoth sized portion of ice cream!

Lastly, has anyone took notice on how expensive kid birthday parties are now a days? Favors can no longer be a bag that smells like latex filled with a few smarties candy, and a blower with a clown on it! A pinata can't be filled with choking hazard toys, and small candies that can easily be lodged into a 2 year olds throat. Remember the good ol days when you were lucky if your friends had PIZZA besides cake. I mean now people are expecting a FULL meal that is comparison to a Bobby Flay spread. We aren't even hiring a petting farm, rides, a cotton candy maker, clown, or a magician! However for the price tag it seems we should have all of those things! It sure makes me wonder...are we doing this for the kids or the parents? No wonder why people surrender to the bad pizza and entertainment of Chucky E Cheese--it is probably HALF the dang price!

Move Over Beck's--We Have a Soccer Star in the HOUZZZE

Pete and his team are off to Seattle in August to play for the national cup in the over 30's league. We are all so happy for him, and that his hobby has now turned into a REAL game (just jokes love--just jokes). I also forgot to mention that recently his team has made him their captain! Apparently they caught on to my husbands loyalty of NEVER EVER missing a game (unless in Aruba). Luckily his college days at URI's soccer captain has taught him his mad skills which will lead them to the home of Starbucks!

Seeing ME In HIM and PISSED about it!

Do you ever have one of those days that you feel like you are a foot away from the funny farm? A moment a way from snapping? Teetering on the brink of insanity? Or having a terrible horrible no good very bad day?...or maybe PMS'ing? Have you ever wanted to call a family member up and beg them to take your kid until they are close to 18 years of age?

You know I am not in good space today when I am looking forward to putting my son down for bed tonight, and heading for a work out. That is right people--I am considering a work out as a way to decompress and do something for ME and about ME.

My son has inherited a part of me that I am getting tortured over. My son hates people. Not that we actually HATE people--but we like to be home bodies, and we like to do our own thing. I have always had a part of me that is a loner type. A part of me that gets gitty about being able to stay home for the day ALONE. Apparently Rylan has this too.

Today we started the day off at Sporty Spices home for a play date. (which I would like to announce to the blog world she had MUNCHKIN'S THERE--and I think she even ATE one. She is HUMAN and eats things besides grass, twigs, and Soy milk--how bout that?). On the way there my GPS took me in circles, and I stink at directions so I couldn't hold her verbal directions in my head long enough. I backed up into a stop sign (thank god for my bumper), called back and finally arrived. I was excited to be there and let Rylan have time to interact with other boys. Most of the time he is surrounded mostly by girls, so it was a great opportunity. Rylan wasn't haven it. I would like to give him the benefit of the doubt that he doesn't really KNOW these boys--since the last time he saw them he was about 6 months old. However, in one of his loner moments, he had a system down of pouring water, and throwing things, and when the other kids wanted to play around him, he would flip out. I kept thinking--maybe it was because he was sleepy?...
We left and he had a 3 1/2 hour nap while skipping lunch. I think this is wonderful because he will be in a great mood for Ashley's party today. I whisk him out of bed and head for good times at Ashley's! As soon as we stepped in Rylan wouldn't leave my leg. He was surrounded by people he KNEW and he still wouldn't have it. The rain stopped we got outside and he began his rock throwing. After a few scraps of him pushing, hitting, or ..my favorite of the day..throwing rocks at others (and me). Of course, as you know, no discipline technique work--infact they encourage him to do it more, so after reading and talking with professionals I was told to take a back seat approach and ignore it as much as possible. This is hard since I want to WHIP him into next Sunday. We called it an early day and left instead.
Of course we get home and he is happy as a friggen clam. UGHH
I make him dinner, it falls all over the floor. I YELL the F BOMB and Rylan yells out "UT-OHHH". I surrendered to the Chef Boyardee microwave dinner served with only diaper wearing and following with a sud filled bath.
Some how..for some reason I feel like sobbing at this point. Can you blame me? What a massively long--trying day--and to think it DID include a 3 1/2 hour nap for him!

I worry about how next weekend will be with two parties back to back of his own. I am going to torture him on his OWN birthday with lots and lots of people at his house, playing with HIS things. My kid is so very different then others. He will be the only one asking me NOT to throw him a party. I am hoping first that is doesn't RAIN next weekend, and that if he freaks out people won't be offended if he goes missing to a place by himself, or that he starts throwing them kisses which means "get the HELL out of my house". I am sure in time he will, like me, FEEL like being social time to time. I get him though, as I am so similar, but I have learned over the years that it isn't polite to throw rocks at people, and I didn't even need a time out to figure that out!

Organizational Home Envy

Every now and then my friend, and fellow Mom, offers a job opportunity that helps out the "POOR" Stay At Home Mom front. She own a professional organizing business in CT, and sometimes needs some "assistants". Yesterday she hired my friend Pam and I, to organize, and unpack a family that just relocated. It was a AMAZING home that was very modern and looked like it should be in CA not CT. Most of the house featured glass walls, and glass ceilings. They built it around the forest, which meant nothing in the environment was ruined, and the tree's were incorporated into the home. The master bedroom had a glass hallway that featured a beautiful tree trunk inches from the glass and a large picturesque window that a top of the tree filled. Needless to say they needed little art on the wall, as the forest seem to do it for them! They also had a few items I would only dear to dream I will have someday: A built in cappachino maker, built in ipod attached to surround sound, an appliance closet (so you don't use up counter space, and ample amount of storage everywhere (so much so that we didn't fill it ALL). We enjoyed drooling over all of their amenities, and eating lunch on their back patio in the woods. Although at one point during our quick lunch, one of their sons who is 3 yrs old, came out to play us a song on his guitar. It was sweet, until we had to call our husbands and he started to yell at us "Are you going to get off the Freaken Darn phone?" At the end of the day the house looked like it was miles away from what we walked into, which made us give ourselves a pat on the back, and made me think about the fact my family would be moving soon too--with ALOT less space. Luckily--after trying to find a cheap but working espresso machine in the past few weeks, the women we worked from was throwing out a brand NEW one and GAVE it to me! Sure it is a little dated--it was one of their wedding presents from 1992--but heck if it will make my fat free lattes we will get along just fine.

Yesterday was also the first day Pete had Rylan ALL day without in law help! I am happy to report he survived--they both did! Apparently Rylan tried to pull one over on Dad by crying at nap time and making it almost impossible. Eventually Rylan gave in, or Pete decided to play bad cop, because Rylan did get a two hour nap. When I got home I had asked Pete why he was so cranky and he said "do you know how tiring it is to take care of a kid all day?"--no I have NO idea? :-)

Swim Class Without A Teacher

Every Friday Rylan and I rush when we get up in order to make 9am swim class that is about a 1/2 hour drive away. For a long while this was something we both looked forward to, thanks to an inspiring, and well loved teacher. Lately this teacher we love and usually follow semester to semester with, has been missing for most of this season. Week by week this class seems to get worse. One week we walked in and it was "free swim"--which is fine an all--but give us back our money for the day or at least part since nobody is teaching! Then we received so HORRIBLY inadequate teachers in the past week. They are two young women who have no control over the class, and aren't confident in teaching it. One in particular fails to crack a smile, gets pissed when the kids don't do what she says (hello they are 18-36 months old), chastises the adults who do not get their head wet, and asks us TO TEACH HER the songs we sing! Today teacher "stone face" first came into class saying she was going to teach the class from the deck and wasn't getting IN THE WATER with us. When a parent threatened to leave because toddlers NEED the structure, she "sucked it up" and got in. How kind of her? I left so irate at her inability, and the amount I paid the YMCA, that I am drafting a nasty gram to those people. I have to also note that about 12 people are signed up for this class, and today there was only 3 of us--apparently MANY people are not fond of these changes.

Rylan later blessed me with a 3 HOUR NAP! I think it was a TGIF gift! Luckily he did this because between the 15 million phone calls and e-mails in regards to the new house, and other things in our life, I needed the time. I squeezed in some time to work out and try my new Pilate's kit I purchased today. In the DVD the women said to strap the band to the door. My door wouldn't shut properly so Einstein over here decided to wrap it around the door knob. Needless to say THAT didn't work, and it flung back and snaped my stomach that now holds a Pilate's war wound.

Mickey Mouse is now living large in our home. We gave Rylan an early birthday gift which is the Disney Beach Party DVD. The kid jams to it. He forgets all negative in the world when this is being played. He forgets the mean teacher in the water that made him go under today and try to float on his back even though he was deathly afraid. I mean doesn't the sight of Goofy and Mini Mouse on water slides make everyone forget such things? We have already watched it twice today, and now I can not stop singing the songs. It is funny how as parents our repertoire of music changes for singing rump shaken music to kids tunes! It is a bit embarrassing when you are in public humming such tunes without your child with you!

Rylan is also sad that this week ends the mark of the school year. He is still standing at the window hoping the bus is coming. Sorry kid not til' next Fall.

Losing 5lb of the Muffin Top

What do you do when you are feeling queasy? Work out with Sporty Spice of course.

Yesterday I had a day FREE of work out routine since I felt like a massive dog pile. I can not rid myself of the queasy or sleepiness lately--which of course makes any girl trying to get knocked up go "HMMMM"--but in the realistic world I am torn between it being a sinus issue thanks to the rain, or a touch of something. Since I was feeling so badly, I had given Sporty a heads up with a "I might need to reschedule".

Overnight I feared giving myself another freebie day that would not include sit up's and squats. I know myself--and I know I can easily go back to the way I was if I don't keep myself in check. It is true I am a virgin to this and I was fearful of where I should draw the line when it comes to sickness and working out. I also know Sporty Spice is hardcore, and wouldn't come here to "go easy" on me. The anticipation had me alittle afraid of what was to come. I am not sure if this was the sickness or the newness--either way I survived. I was CLOSE to copping out on her today and totally caving into my "stomach issues". Then I decided it is not worth co-signing my own B.S. and making me take 10 steps back from where I am now. I stood on that scale today--and HECK I was 5 pounds lighter then I was 2 weeks ago when we started! I mean Michelle is not a mean girl--if I was to start yakking all over the floor I am sure she would have stopped yelling "give me 12 beauuuchh". Luckily I have been 100% honest with her and all my fears--so I didn't trick her or myself.

In the midst of doing a set of 12 sit ups where you lay your back straight on the floor, raise your legs in the air, and lift your butt with your ab muscles, I was close to damning her. I told her "I am so going to write about you on the blog". I mean who does this move? I pulled through to the best of my ability--and she kicked my ever loven sissy ass! You would think it would stop at 12 reps of those bad boys right? OH NO my friend! Homegirl broke it all out today! We did some kickboxing. She put the gloves on me and I told her I have never gotten in a girl fight before so she needed to SHOW me HOW to punch. At first she called me a pansy--but in time I think I was kicking some butt. She made me do more crunches (I KNOW--you would think the butt ones were enough right?), and some other ab, and "make my butt slim" moves. The good news is, I didn't puke, and I felt great afterwards. I am thankful she is hardcore even when I am moaning about it. I especially love the fact that she has my type of personality and feel I can really say anything and NOT offend her. Since lets face it people..sometimes my mouth gets me in trouble and I forget the world sometimes doesn't share my sense of humor.

I did have an internal day. I mean this because of a few things. A: I got an e-mail from a fellow blogger (McCashew) about my project "Say" encouraging me to send my letters B: I did. I still have more to write but the few that I did write are now out of my hands. C: I went to therapy today and all she wanted to talk about is difficult stuff in my past that left me very teary eyed coming out---but I went home and worked out with Sporty anyway. D: I miss my husband and he hasn't even gone yet. This weekend is booked for both of us and none of it together--then he leaves Monday for a week in Jersey. Saturday I am working for a friend all day, and Sunday he is in PA playing his national cup soccer game. One of these days we will have together time--just not in the coming week or next weekend during Rylan's "party" weekend which includes friend/kid party on Saturday and family party on Sunday. E. My baby is turning two in a week.

There is alot to be thankful today--a good work out, a husband and son that loves me, friends, family, five pounds lighter and another Spears baby brought into this world! Hopefully Jaime Lynn will get parenting tips elsewhere then from Brittney or her mother! She will also be welcomed into the club of "muffin top". What is there to be queasy over when life is this good?

I look forward to the day I rejoice over my muffin top being abs of steel!

Big Shoes To Fill

"Daddy sure has BIG shoes to fill"

Sleepy Face

I tried to keep Rylan up today so that he could sleep longer in the long run. This is what happened in the midst of watching Elmo:

BA BA BUS

Rylan is loving his first birthday gift that came in the mail from Aunt Kim and Uncle Zaine in Bermuda! He got his favorite--a "ba ba bus" as he calls it!

Feelen A Bit Like Charlotte

Finally--I got to see the movie IN STEREO! It was GREAT--everything I had hoped for and more. I am already hoping they will do another one--but one could only hope! Sadly in the midst of me seeing the ONE movie I have been waiting to see since sightings of them filming it in the city were revealed--I was having a hard time paying attention. One scene Charlotte had some stomach issues and I wanted to scream out "I feel you sister"! I was sitting there thinking about leaving--but being a dedicated fan--I had to stay. I spent the majority of the time "coaching" myself through it with every stomach rumble. I also said a little prayer that I wouldn't projectile puke all over the audience. I am proud that I made it all the way through--but driving home I was thankful I live around the corner from the theatre since I was feeling like I was about to pass out.

Regardless of my brink of sickness, it didn't make me love the movie any less. It also made me think about my NYC days, my friendships, and forgiveness in life. I loved how it shaped the entire story line around forgiveness and moving on. It gave it depth and talked to each of our lives regardless if we are able to afford Manolo Blahnik shoes! It was a breathe of fresh air for a girl that needed it because she was about to be sick.

In other Dos Santos news--we are on the last leg toward owning the Blues Clues house. We are just waiting for a few signatures and a closing date which will be in the next few weeks. I also got a call from the Sylvan center about the interview I went on prior to Aruba. Sadly their numbers are dropping (it is summer vacation) so they aren't hiring since they don't have the hours. BUT--she told me and promised I would be the first person they hire when the numbers rise (in the Fall), if I am still interested. It is nice to know I will have that option. The funny thing is ALL of my certification paper work is IN--yet it has been 2 months and still NOTHING. HOW LONG does it take to be a certified teacher in this state?--it is crazy!
Lastly..
Rylan is teething. I thought he had an ear infection the other day and took him to the the Dr.. Apparently it is just his molars making way. He was never a bad teether until the two year molars came rolling in. Poor thing is not feeling well. I have given into given him whatever makes him feel better including his paci. He is pushing through it--and has been an angel since I have been feeling less then ducky.

Almost 2

Look At What We Will Be Doing ALL Summer

Rylan is IN love with his POOL! This year he is tall enough to go in it ALONE! The only thing we are struggling with is teaching him this is NOT the place to throw rocks, grass, and sand into. We are so happy we decided to put it up since he loves it so much!

Still Haven't Seen It!

Weekend Recap minus Dave Mathews:

-Friday after my "heart on my sleeve" post I received a few wonderfully gushy e-mails that reminded me what great friends I have. In the midst of trying to get my body healthy, I have learned I have been on a quest of depth too. In my hopes for clarity, I think I have found the best thing one could ask for--to love and be loved. It is a sweet thing!
I also went for "Moms Night Out" to see Sex And The City. You know if I have actually SEEN the movie I would have posted about it sooner right?...sadly thanks to technical difficulties we did not get to see it. Ok we saw 20 min. of it which including a large HUMMMMMM on the speakers, and Carrie basically whispering to us about her engagement. Totally sucked. We got our money back and headed out to the local pub to forgot our movie sorrows! We will attempt to see it Tuesday night for Ladies night --only $6 a ticket!
-Saturday, although it was steaming hot out, we took a long walk down to our new neighborhood. Thankfully everyone was out and about and I met most of our future neighbors. Two houses down the man told us that not only does he host a haunted house on Halloween every year (ironically we went last Halloween), he also hosts a massive 4th of July party for about 300 people for the neighborhood and their families. He also has a pool in his back yard and said all the kids are welcome to use it. He also offered to help us out as much as he could when we moved in. It was SOOOOO great to talk with everyone and know we are moving into a kind and family friendly environment. Soon after the walk I saw a little reminder on why I can not wait to move out of our neighborhood. It was a bumper sticker on a car that said: I Love To JDM Hoes (I am not sure what they meant the JDM to mean? Jam? Them? or some type of code) Whatever it is about "hoes"..why does he need to let everyone know it on his car? It is alittle different then my Dave Mathews Band sticker on my car--ya think?
-Sunday Pete had a great 2nd Father's Day. We went out to breakfast where I--get this--ordered an egg white veggie omelet and wheat toast! I can not get over this factor it is HUGE. We then went to a family cook out and sure I had a sliver of cake and a brownie, but when we came home we have a family walk!

Today:
Rylan was acting funny so I brought him to the Dr. They think he is getting his 2 year molars(I was worried that it was another ear infection). He was an ANGEL at the Dr.s office--this has NEVER happened before. I wanted to buy him a pony! Then we went grocery shopping and it was another story. I am wondering if I can continue shopping with him if it is longer then 20 minutes. He throws everything I try to distract him with AND even though he is buckled he finds away to stand up in the seat! I love the toddler years.

Dave Mathews--A Love Story

It is funny how through time, life experiences, and exposure, we change music styles and favorites. The only one that has stood still in time for me (and Pete too), has been the Dave Mathews Band. Over time their music has shaped and defined certain times in my life whether it be sad times listening to "Grey Street", loving times to the sounds of "Crash", or reflective times to "Dancing Nancie's". I have memories of their music in high school, college, my NYC days, my wedding day, being pregnant, and NOW. At any given time in my life I ALWAYS have one of their cd's ready to roll in my car. I know I am not the only one who feels this way, as their fans follow them everywhere and yearly regardless of new albums or new songs. Often I am asked what that dancing headless lady on the back of my car is (while they are scratching their head in wonderment), and I think how sad that someone doesn't know or enjoy the wonderment of DMB. I am an obsessed fan. That small symbol on my car doesn't only recognize me as one of the "club" members, it defines me and my life story. A few of my favorite life moments that happen to be "Dave" related:

1. A few year back in NYC they played a concert in Central Park. It was the hottest ticket in town. They were preforming a benefit concert where you could donate any sum of money in order to purchase a ticket. My boss at the time was the biggest Dave Mathews fan I had ever met and scored us tickets at a whopping $7 a piece. The day of the show we heard rumors that more tickets were sold then would be admitted. My boss called into work sick that day to stay home and pack us sandwich's and to get in line early. She signed off that I had a Dr. appointment and had to leave early so I could join her. We made it. Out of thousands and thousands of ticket holders that showed up and MANY not let in that night--we got it. It was my first experience seeing them LIVE. Every time I put their "Live At Central Park" cd in I think--I was there. For NYC at that time it was like being at Woodstock. It was massively awesome and something I will never forget.

2. My wedding day. Of course we had a cd as our parting gift that included a Dave song on it--after all it is Dave Mathews who brought Pete and I together at all (see #3 saving the best for last). On our wedding day one of our last leaving songs was "Tripping Billies". The best part about this was it was the people closest to us that were left in the room. Everyone danced. Pete and I jumped around with missing parts of his tux, and my flip flopped feet still in my white dress. Singing" Eat Drink And Be Merry--For Tomorrow Will Die"..as loud as we could with the people we love.

3. Pete and I met long before we ever got together. We were friends for about 3 years before the fateful day happened. I always noticed the butterflies in my tummy upon seeing him when we were friends--but ignored them. Then 4 1/2 years ago he invited me to a Dave Mathews concert knowing I was also a die hard fan. Since it was in Hartford and I was living in NYC, clearly I would be spending the night at my "friends" house. Clearly if he was just a friend I wouldn't have tried on 70 outfits before going or worrying about what I would wear to sleep. We got to the show and this one song came on called Granny--singing this line:" we find love is hiding there in the shadows in the darkness -baby you and I could bring it to the light" (it made me be go HMMMMMM) It felt right being there with him that night. It has felt right ever since. We had our first kiss that night and I haven't kissed another since.

Since this band marked the start of us, we make it a yearly tradition to go each summer and enjoy our favorite band. Last night was interesting. The good news is they played some of my favorites including "Granny" to remember why this entire Aimee-Pete thing started. The bad news is we had horrible seats which included not only 2nd to last row before the lawn, but also two mid 20's flailing drunken chicks SCREAMING every word to EVERY SONG(thinking this totally made them look HOT), a women clearly well into her 50's with a Bon Jovi hair flapping like a funky chicken (this was great entertainment), heavy petting couples in there 40's practically penetrating, and college kids sitting next to me that had lawn seats and found two empty seats that they thought would be "perfect" to squeeze in 4-6 people at a time. This brings me to my other topic at hand. Dave Mathews following is an array of interesting people. While outside walking around prior to the concert we felt out numbered by the girl on girl action and wondered if this was in fact an Indigo Girls concert instead. Then Pete stated--kid you not--"Aimee you are clearly the oldest women here"--which led to our nightly game of "Eye spy with my crusty old eye someone older then me". We saw a bunch of Mom's with their 9-10 yr old kids, and a BUNCH of pregnant bellies. We saw people our parents age (such as "Bon Jovi" lady), who rocked out and made out like they were 15. And a massive--MASSIVE college crowd. This makes me think--Dave Mathews hasn't really come out with anything new since these kids have been in college--why and how do they become such fans---ahhh yes the weed--the drinking--the LAWN. (you should have seen the MESS behind us on the lawn--rain, mud, with high and drunk college students--CRAZY). As we were leaving we spotted 15 ambulances lined up to take the over dosers out to get their stomach pumped, while I was thinking about the fact I probably started to like this band when these kids were in diapers. We now have this summer ritual down to a science--park in the same space EVERY year, get there early to enjoy the boothes and free give aways (always Dunken Doughnuts), leave the arena the same time as the tour bus to wave too, and the mile and then some walk to and from the arena with drunken fools.
By the time Rylan is in college and wanting to go on the lawn and party--his parents will still be in the stands enjoying the reason Rylan was ever made!

Letting Go Of My Armor For The Day

You know when you are on a roller coaster and you know a deep downward ditch it coming and you feel your heart in your throat? This is how I am feeling right now. I made a low cal homemade chicken pie, and took a long shower, while pondering this blog post, and how I wanted to shape it. Here it goes.

When I start to care about someone it never stops. One thing I can say I have always been in my lifetime is loyal to my friendships. Some have been less deserving then others. There is a part of who I am that is intense when I care because I do it with my whole heart. As a single women in my twenties, I could really GIVE in my friendships. I had the time to be there and make memories, I had less responsibilities, and I considered my friends my ultimate family. Even though I have not grown to love my friends any less, I have grown a family, and this seems to hurdle me being able to spend time, and nurture friendships out of a 10 mile radius of my home. I hate how time escapes me, and I think I haven't called so and so for so long they are going to begin to think I forgot about them. The honest truth is, if you are my friend--my really really good friend--I think of you all the time and often, even if I haven't told you lately that I do.

My defense mechanism isn't always such a great quality to have. I have been told by friends that love me that I am "scary"(they fear pissing me off), or that they can not picture me crying. I think this is so interesting since I am SUCH an emotional person. I think what they are seeing is what I call my emotional armor. I wear it to protect me, since so many times in life I have been let down by wearing my big ol' heart on my sleeve. Inheriting balls of steel isn't always a great quality. Suddenly you are not authentic, and you forget how to show your emotions to those that mean so much to you. It is weird how when a bad situation appears in people's lives that I don't know, I can counsel them and seem to say all the right things--and in my own life--with people I care about--I stumble upon words and make inappropriate jokes. My laughter, my humor....trying to make everything so light and easy--hoping nobody sees in my eyes the depth of worry and raw emotion. Most of my friendships are with people that are "like me". There is no mushy gushy--kiss kiss--it is all full of humor and light heartedness. This has made it very difficult for me--and the number one reason I haven't sent out my "project say" letters. The fear that showing how I really feel, might somehow make me weak and less desirable as a friend.

I am sure you are wondering where I am going with this. I wrote a letter a few months ago to a friend of mine that I love immensely as part of my project SAY. It still sits in my home as I am afraid to lose her over being so mushy. It sounds so dumb when I think about it--I mean doesn't everyone in life want to know they are cared for? Sissy pants over here just can't bare to think about losing a friend of hers that she sadly can not see all the time--do to distance, nor talk with do to time changes. Our lives are very different then they used to be--but I never stopped caring for her the same. Her role in my life has always been "the rock". She witnessed me at some of my worst and some of my best. As we get older I think about how much time has elapsed and how sad it is that we have to plan a year in advance to get together. (and not with just her but with practically all my friends).

I got an e-mail from this dear friend and avid blog reader today that turned all of my insides upside down. She said she was Cancer free! The emotion comes when I didn't know she was diagnosed with it to begin with. I was so thankful that the turn out was a positive one--but for moment thought about how precious time is and how my life sure would lose light without her in this world. I thought about how she reads this blog all the time--and how self centered this thing is. Here I am posting pictures of fun times with my son, and making light hearted jokes about my weight, while my dear friend was sitting in worry. I know her type too--she is like me. She internalizes, and has her own set of armor. This led me to thinking--life is just to damn short for always hiding behind worry because it could leave you hiding behind regret. I wanted to write her back but thought it might be better if I publicly tell her- on this little ol blog that I have about 100-200 loyal readers per day on reading all my self indulged honesty--that I love her. I miss her. I am soooooo thankful that she is Cancer free, and even more thankful to have her in my life no matter how little or how much I get to see her. The truth is--when people make an imprint on your life it doesn't seem to matter how much time has elapsed, all that matters is they know.

Good Friends are hard to find--so you should tell them so.

Wax On Wax Off

Sometimes I wish I could get wax mold made of me like the celebs do for the Madame Tussauds Wax museum in NYC, that way I can offer the "wax' me to Rylan for sacrifice purposes. Days like today I wish I could take my leg off and tell him to go sit down. He is a hanger. Today he also happens to be a whiner, and a screamer, until I cave into the paci gods to shut him up. He also refuses to let me eat anything by myself. The mooch even wanted to gulp down my cereal with flax seed and soy milk today! If there was a wax me I could make her sit with a bowl of goldfish, and tell Rylan "go see your other Mommy". It might be awkward in public when he says things someday like "Mommy, your legs aren't as smooth as "other" Mommy". Suddenly Pete will be getting phone calls that I am referring to some other women as Rylan's other mommy, and that I am clearly leaving him for a woman!(and then people would go --OHHH that is why she went to an ALL girls college--it makes sense now!) Regardless of the explaining my I might have to do, it would be worth it just to have my leg free of toddler, eat my own bowl of cereal, and my ears full of harmony instead of whining!

I am so happy that we are way into the end of the week. This weekend will be one of pure delight. Friday I am going to FINALLY go see the Sex And The City movie with some fellow Mom's. Saturday Pete and I enjoy our yearly routine of going to see Dave Mathews in concert (after all there wouldn't be any "US" without them!)--even though our seats totally stink this year regardless of the fact Pete has been a fan club member of the Warehouse for YEARS! Rylan is sleeping over the in laws Saturday night since who knows what hour us responsible parents will get in. Sunday we will sleep in like non-parents, and then enjoy Father's Day with the family! In the meantime I have two days to go with my emotional monkey hanging on my legs!

In other news--I am giving up my run of Proactiv. I recently have more acne then I did as a teenager. The miracle ending I had hoped it would give just isn't coming AND it is still bleaching all of my towels and sheets.
As for the Project Rid Fat Suit--it has been a week. I have eaten 125040 times better then I ever have, I have exercised EVERYDAY, and feeling better. Today was the first day I woke up feeling like the newness of this lifestyle change has worn off. This is the time that usually gets me. I usually talk myself into thinking it isn't worth it and surrender to whole milk and candy bars. This time however, I am pushing through these negative thoughts aside and moving on as planned. Pete says my life theme song right now is Olivia Newton John's "lets get physical". Every time I work out he sings it to me! Then I can't get that music video out of my head of Ms Newtown in her pink leotard with matching headband and leg warmers. I am hoping Pete doesn't change my theme song in a few weeks to Sir Mix Alot's "I like Big Butts". (has anyone seen THAT video where Mr Sir Lot sits on the crack of a big butt?---how very creative)

Strolling The Beach For Hot Chicks

I found out I am totally screwed today. RYLAN IS ALREADY TRYING TO PICK UP LADIES. While he was throwing rocks into the ocean today at the beach, two lovely bikini clad college students came over to put their feet in. Rylan actually STOPPED his rock throwing to check them out. Next thing you know he moves in for the kill. How you ask?..yes that would be with throwing rocks AT them. They giggle--he smiles--I intervene (same story will happen when he is a teenager you can bet on it!). I apologize for his great aim at their legs, as he tries to hold one of their hands. I then give him a pep talk that includes this line that I never thought I would have to say to my two year old: "Rylan if you think a girl is cute you DONT get their attention by throwing rocks at them. Just go over and say HI". I guess he is already at third grade level when it comes to picking up chicks with the pull hair--break something of theirs mentality. By 3rd grade he should be well onto handing out shots and a wink like a seasoned college professional.

It was our first time checking out the beach near the C3 Family. Christina and I discussed how we HAVE to do it weekly and ran down our schedules for free time. Rylan and Christian were in their little heaven and their Mom's worked really hard at their job today by soaking up the sun. I was the ONLY nut on the beach who actually went into the frigid ocean (not even kids were attempting this). I am thinking about joining the polar bear club next year because that was the COLDEST water I have ever dunked in. I also found sunglasses in the ocean. Random I know. Sadly they aren't the name brand ones I thought they were at first--but they are cute anyhow. Christian with his Red Sox hat on, opened some conversation up with some other Boston fans. You should have seen Christina making friends--she easily could talk a fish into living out of water and being her neighbor. She has MAD skills in the game of making Mom friends. I , on the other hand, get super shy and often come off bitchy (I know what you are thinking...she couldn't POSSIBLY be.....shy.) Rylan thought the funniest thing that could ever happen to him was waves crashing on his ankles. And Christina and I left with sunburns. It was a great day that we can not wait to repeat (minus the sunburn).
Here are some pics from the day:
Happy the waves are crashing on him


Friends (with a hot suntanning C3 MOMMA in the back ground and the college girls Rylan was trying to get a date with)

Friends


Christian

Christian and his Mom

Ry enjoying the beach





Friends Forever

Putting The Wild Child In The Closet

I was having a conversation this evening with a friend of mine from college who is newly a Mom. Now that she is a mom she gets "it", and I am not talking love here people. I am talking about "conforming"!
Once I became a Mom I suddenly felt I had to let a part of me die. Even though I just gave birth to my heart and he has brought me so much joy, he was also the beginning of an end of Aimee'ness.
My sister and I recently discussed the show "Rock Of Love". I kiddingly said to her "thank god I married and had a kid or you know I would be heading for try outs for that show", and she said "you ain't kidding".
I was a free spirit that surely some day would HAVE to be tamed.
I didn't know becoming a Mom meant I also needed to become a prude, or that I (no matter what size) should be less sexy. Don't get me wrong I have always been a HUGE fan of covering myself up in Ann Taylor--but always? Why is it the only conversation we can have amongst moms be only about G rated stuff? (although those that know me well enough know that doesn't last long)
I wonder if my friends from my past told "Aimee" stories to my new Mom friends--would they continue to befriend me? (quite possibly some of them are closeted wild ones too) I know plenty of you out there could tell "Aimee" stories that might in fact horrify the Mom world and quite possibly destroy my Mom "status" . I don't regret anything I ever did in life--it has made me grow into who I am. I do however miss being able to freely be ME 100% of the time.
As my friend Nikki said it today on the phone, "can you believe THEY LET ME BE A MOM". I said an AMEN sista, and we BOTH decided that "people like us" that become Mom's need more closet space to hide skeletons!
I am thankful I did not end up on Rock Of Love. I am hopeful that I can still carry some of that wild child with me and not be such a "serious" mom that lacks fun. I am glad some people in my past, like Nikki, feel like I do. Lastly--I am not so sure that the night of my bachelorette party was indeed the LAST night I would ever dance on a bar as I declared! (we shall see)

ps. my husband says this is called "growing up"

Times Are A Changen'

Not only did I have SOY MILK in my cereal today...I ate a piece of fruit as a SNACK yesterday! Who ever would have thought? You know healthy crap isn't all that bad. I have felt a million times better ever since I started this "operation fat suit". Finally I feel like my head is in the game and I am ready!

Potty Your Body

This how we potty in our house:


Does this count as one step closer to potty training even if his clothes are on?

Chillen

This is how Rylan rolls on a hot day:



After much debate on whether we should put up our big pool this summer (thanks to moving soon), we decided we can not take it! It is going up this weekend!

Surviving Heat And Meltdowns

I used the Sex Bomb my mother in law gave me from mothers day (aka a bath fizz ball). When I told her I was going to use it she said "we will know if it works if you are waiting up for Pete to come home tonight". I giggled for a moment and thought...hmm something is so wrong with that statement. Although the bomb was relaxing, it wasn't anything to rave over or call the love Dr. in on! However a bath is something I haven't had in ages (I don't smell--I shower). It was a pleasant gift to myself after a long day of two year madness.

This heat is making us all so cranky. I just want to curl up in bed with AC on and watch an abundance amount of HGTV. Rylan wants to be outside playing in or with water preferably without sunscreen.

Pete has spent the weekend FULL of soccer. He won his big game this weekend and will be heading to PA for a game two weeks from now. (if they win that --they are off to Seattle in Aug.) I feel like I didn't get to see him this weekend which totally stinks. What stinks more is trying to wrangle a whining kid at a party without hubby help! But we made it (barely sane).

I think Rylan is the only kid in the world who is going to be pissed I invited a bunch of kids over for his birthday. The kid is an odd one. He likes alone time or one on one...when there is too many people he plain out freaks. Yesterday we were excited to go to Penelope's 2nd birthday and my child just had back to back meltdowns. I even found myself swinging him in the rain just to keep him from ruining other peoples time at the party (normally I would make him suck it up). To bad he has a near future FILLED with kid birthday parties (including his own). I am hoping he learns to deal or I might go insane.

Today is a day that I am not sure what we are doing--but my plan is to stay cool and lay low. We went out for a long walk this morning with Kerri and Ashley, and it was already a MEAN 90 degrees at 8:30 am! I had to have lost weight from sweat alone! It was just GROSS. We then went over their house to play a bit while Kerri and I drank well needed water. She talked me into trying Flax Seed--which I didn't think I would ever try. It wasn't that bad, and I might just have to incorporate it in my new healthy ways. Who would have thought?

Sweaten It Out

I feel like Richard Simmons today (minus the head band and leg warmers). My hair is all poofy thanks to humidity, and I am sweating like a sinner in church. CAN IT GET ANY HOTTER IN CT? See the thing that trips me up about this weather thang is just yesterday I was wearing LONG sleeves and today I was asking the family if anyone would be offended if I went topless for the day. (Pete's eyes perked up but of course it was deemed inappropriate since it was dinner with the inlaws and friends of the family) I was jealous of Rylan who was able to spend the past five hours in a baby pool set up on my inlaws deck under a awning. The kid was as cool as Vanilla Ice minus the zig zags shaved on the side of his head. Needless to say we installed out air conditioners today and we look forward to seeing our next electric bill (NOT).

I wanted to use today's whopping 105 degrees as an excuse to not work out, but I did anyway (luckily not sweaten to the oldies with Richard--I was sweaten to the hommies with Kanye). I realize that you can ALWAYS find an excuse for something you loathe doing. Today I was extra pissed that I had to get even sweatier in this HOT MESS weather. Luckily I realized it is good to do this routine before showering for the day. During the work out I was thinking about how much this sucks and will be a life style change. I am hoping there will be a day that I say "yey I get to go work out", or "Yey I want to eat rice cakes and soy milk". (I think the odds are slim to none for that but we shall see) Wouldn't it be funny if I turn all earthy crunchy and start being a totally health nut. If you came over and all I had to offer you was a soy hotdog, a tofu sandwich, and a glass of cold soy milk? Now THAT would be funny. I do have to admit that I took Sporty Spices advice and bought a Shape Magazine for some inspiration. As I was driving off from CVS pissed that I couldn't buy a candy bar without feeling guilty I thought "It will be worth it when I pull a Justin Timberlake and Bring Sexy Back".

I did have an epiphany today. After showering I thought about doing my nails and thought "ahh I really don't have the time". And then I thought--THAT RIGHT THERE--that is IT! I never ever put Aimee first. I need to start taking care of myself. I need to starting loving me more then food. So I did my nails. Apparently this is something I never do because everyone that saw me today said "hey did you go get your nails done" or "your nails look great". If doing my nails will make me feel like I gave myself some TLC --well then I must surrender and take the time.

Pete was excited today because Portugal won in a soccer game he literally lost sleep over last night thanks to anticipation. His addiction is soccer, luckily not food. Let me tell you right now if he was in my shoes and giving up soccer was the way to get skinny--homeboy would be fat for life. He loves it as much as he loves his family. Don't ask me what exactly this game was today--I get easily confused with all that sports mumbo jumbo (is it European? world? opening season?--do not know and frankly I am not really caring--except that it puts a smile on the hubby's face ..well only when they win of course). Pete continues his weekend full of soccer, with his OWN game tomorrow, and watching a live game at Giant Station tomorrow night.

Today ended with a bunch of bug bites, strawberries and fat free Ready Whip for dessert (except Pete had an ice cream sundae while licking his Reece's Pieces lips infront of me), a poopy swimmy diaper, and a need for another shower and some deodorant. Cheers to summer finally coming to town!

Don't Get Your Depends In A Bunch

It was raining today and I so desperately wanted to take a 3 hour nap like my son. Then I thought about my fat suit--and Sporty Spice is e-mailing me telling me to get my ass up. SO I gave in--and did my damn exercise. I kept thinking about the body I want--which kept my mind off of how much it totally sucked (especially since I am aching after last nights workout). I also have not had one cheese doodle, NOR a spoon of regular ice cream! Thank You very much (taking a bow)

It seems like forever ago I took Rylan to swim class since we have had to miss the last two. We were running late this morning since it was down pouring. I ran into the locker room in disarray and ran out as soon as I could to the pool in order for us to avoid missing much. When I got back into the locker room I felt an old lady glaring at me like I was the devil. I smile and apologize for my stuff being all over (even though it is NOT). She says "well ya know"(nothing ever good comes out of a mouth that starts like this)"MOST thoughtful people put their strollers over on that wall. THEY realize there are other patrons that use the locker room and shouldn't have to jump over strollers". I thought about telling her to take my stroller and putting it where the sun doesn't shine. I breathed deeply and told myself it will make me a better person to SUCK IT UP. I say "I understand your concern. Normally I try to place it in a place not too many people are using. We were rushing this morning, and I like to keep it near my locker with my things in it". She says nothing and since on the bench 100% naked. Who does this? So not sanitary! She then takes the backing off of her Depends off (kid you not) to stick to her underwear. Grossed out by that and the fact her Va-jay jay is sitting on the very bench my son usually lays his head--I turn around. Another Mom enters the area and the old women smiles at her, makes light conversation, and is sweet as pie. Apparently SHE parks her stroller in the right place. Why I let such silly things bug me--I am not sure. All I know is homegirl needs a bikini wax and needs to put her Depends on in a private area (hoping she put the sticky part on backwards for an automatic bikini wax). I wish I could have said "most patrons take into account the fact that other patrons don't want to see them putting a depends on IN PUBLIC while letting your lady parts touch places us PATRONS have to sit". I really can not handle people like that. Just because we are fellow women doesn't mean you can or I am ok with you showing off your forest or putting a depends on--you might as well use a tampon too! Yikes--what happened to modesty and old age?

I joined Freecycle today after hearing rave reviews from a few friends. I used to love yard sales as a kid, and this seems like one big yard sale online--but FREE. The downside is...700 e-mails a day. Yikes. I am not sure how long I will be able to deal with that.

We had a quick play date with our fav C3 family today. It is funny because Rylan clearly has favorite when it comes to kids (especially boys). Some little boys he will smack for no reason, others he won't lay a hand on for ANY reason. He and Christian fought over a few things, but not once did either of the kids raise their hand to the other. Victory! I notice when he takes notice in certain others his age--and I am well aware of his likes and dislikes. Funny how such a little man can already be so opinionated about who he rolls with. Clearly little C3 is in his "crew".