The Shift: Stay At Home Mom 2 Working Mom

In my last month of pregnancy with  my oldest my doctor took me out of work early. I didn't mind because it meant no more commuter train in the morning where grown men in fancy suits never gave up their seats to a almost nine months pregnant women. In that last month I remember sleeping in late, making bacon in the morning, and watching all the morning talk shows in my pj's. I had envisioned that this was exactly like what stay at home moms do except a kid was playing quietly on the floor entertaining ones self. This would of course be, one of many, many things, I would soon be proven wrong by. You can't exactly tell new moms what the real deal of motherhood is until they are in the thick of it.

Rylan was born. He was so sick, and I was so worried. I resigned and became a stay at home mom. It looked nothing like sleeping in cooking bacon everyday. I was lucky if I got to watch the weather in between Baby Einstein's and Elmo. I thought I had it all under perfect control, and how could life be any different going from one child to two? I mean we would have the same schedule, and we would do the same things! Easy right?

Addison was born. I was so wrong. In my professional years at being a stay at home mom, that first year or two of balancing two kids all day long weren't only the hardest but the longest.

Sure we got to do some amazing things with amazing people. I got to grocery shop when nobody else was in the stores except for old cranky ladies that forgot what it was like to have two little ones shopping. We attended classes, and played in parks. We spend endless time with old friends and made new. Just when I pondered over how they were getting older and should I find my way back to my career, things changed.

Bennett was born. I so badly wanted to give him what I had given by other two. As we struggled with finances, because MAN does it cost you a ton to stay a home, I lived in the moment. I knew my time with him full-time would be limited. I can honestly say I have lived his first year literally drinking him in.

Seven years as a stay at home mom doesn't look great on a resume, although I think it should. It required a lot of skills jobs need! Micro management, communications, and keeping the boss(es) happy! I mean what other job requires changing diapers and determining what the boss ate beforehand? Who would have thought my phone would be ringing for interviews and that I would end up with more then one option.

I am a week into being a working mom.

I silently kicked and screamed all the way there. I was convinced my life would never change out of yoga pants, play dates, and cheerios in my purse.

What I didn't realize is becoming a working mom from a stay at home mom is similar to being an expecting parent to a new parent (or a parent of one becoming a parent of two). You can not "get it" until you "do it".

I am a social worker again in a middle school using skills I hadn't tapped into in almost a decade. Lucky for me it is like riding a bike. You know what the beauty of it for me is? I use my brain from those years in graduate school. People ask my professional opinion. I make a difference in someone elses life every singe day. I know what you are thinking--I was doing that last part when I was a stay at home mom with my kids--but doing it professionally is entirely different. At the end of the day I am exhausted, and I muster up what I can to give my three little ones. At the end of the day I pray it will get easier, and I won't feel so overwhelmed. At the end of the day I am so filled up with giving, doing, being my best, that I could burst.

I don't stop being a mom all day at the job either. As when you have a job working with kids, you are still using those loving maternal skills too. I miss my kids, but in those moments, other peoples kids need me too.

Dare I say I feel complete?

My passion for my careers, and my love of being a mom actually mesh perfectly together.

The shift isn't easy. I do miss yoga pants, grocery shopping with the old cranks, seeing my friends during the day, naps, Target, and occasionally sleeping in. I miss my kids too of course, but frankly at my new job I don't have time to even pee never mind worry about them or wallow in it. When I come home at night it is like a three ring circus trying to get ready for the next day. It is like hitting repeat-repeat-repeat- all the way until Friday night. Regardless of the struggle, I know it will get easier, and I know it is such a blessing to now have my career hat again.

Being a new working mom is much like being a new mom. Just like in those first 6 months of newborn/baby stage when you have those sleep deprived moments of what the hell did I just do-- I predict to have similar feelings in this change. However, knowing what seemed impossible then (like regular sleep patterns), I know, in time, it will only get better.