.........Home Grown With Love
Friday, January 3, 2014
Be Better. Do Better.
2014.
A clean slate. A new you. A clear drawn line between the yesterdays of 2013 and the today of 2014.
The part we all seem to forget when starting anew is that all of who we are actually are built upon the foundations of the years before us. Ahead of us may contain all of our dreams, hopes, and wishes, but our pasts hold who we are.
In 2013 my youngest turned one, had his first steps, said his first words, and learned how to blow kisses. I went back to work after being a stay at home Mom for 7 years! I watched my oldest (7 yr old) turn slowly out of Disney Jr and more into the Cartoon network. I watched my daughter (4 yr old) in awe of meeting real princesses at Disney World, and spend hours upon hours of acting such a life out in her dress up wear. I watched the community in live in turn towards hope and kindness. I met new friends, and let go of some old that didn't quite fit into the puzzle. I grew tremendously as an adult. And most importantly... I grew closer to God. Surely there were some hard times too, but it would be shameful of me to turn my back on 2013 and say I no longer have use for you now. As it has made me who I am to stand into the start of 2014.
Recently I was teaching a class filled with middle school students that are up against a lot in this world. We discussed the importance of goals, and self-esteem. My entire purpose of this lesson wasn't about "look in the mirror and tell yourself 5 great things about you", it was more about defining who you are, and that you and only you have the right to choose that. If you let the world decide, you are leading yourself into failure. There will always be nay sayers.
I shared with them my own examples in life. How a guidance counselor in high school told me I would never make it to college and I shouldn't bother applying (to his defense I was in fact a C student but I was a community activist and knew that I was more than my learning disabilities). How my high school social worker said I had not business being a social worker (I think this was said because I was doing more for the community as a high school student then she was as a hired social worker and it made her look a certain way). How a college professor pulled me aside and told me, "It must be nice you made it to college because you are white and cute. However honey white and cute won't cut it here. You should hire someone to translate your papers into proper English since I'm sure you have the money to do so".
The students gasped at the last one. They envisioned how hurt I was from such racial comments. That I must of felt so bad, and that it would've impacted me in a way that would've made me second guess my ability to succeed. They were surprised that it actually did the opposite. All of these stories fueled me. I refused to let ANYONE say I couldn't do something or be something. As my life was my own. I would decide that.
And so this C student that should've never went to college, become a social worker, and only did so because she was "white and cute"--proved them ALL wrong. Two decades later I hold two masters degree's with 4.0 averages, and I have already seen why my time of being such a passionate community activist in high school helped to make me an effective social worker.
The students asked me advice on how to overcome what other's deemed to be their limits. My advice was easy-- Be better. Do better. Take all those limited expectations others have for you and blow them out of the water. Use such negativity to fuel your fire towards the positive.
So this 2014 that is exactly what I plan to do. What I have always done. Be better. Do better. Using the previous years as stepping stones leading toward whatever I am ultimately meant to do in this world. While in between enjoying the children I was told I would never have, the friends I have made that truly support me, and loving the husband that always believed what I could do in this world is limitless.
Be better. Do Better.
It is that simple.
A clean slate. A new you. A clear drawn line between the yesterdays of 2013 and the today of 2014.
The part we all seem to forget when starting anew is that all of who we are actually are built upon the foundations of the years before us. Ahead of us may contain all of our dreams, hopes, and wishes, but our pasts hold who we are.
In 2013 my youngest turned one, had his first steps, said his first words, and learned how to blow kisses. I went back to work after being a stay at home Mom for 7 years! I watched my oldest (7 yr old) turn slowly out of Disney Jr and more into the Cartoon network. I watched my daughter (4 yr old) in awe of meeting real princesses at Disney World, and spend hours upon hours of acting such a life out in her dress up wear. I watched the community in live in turn towards hope and kindness. I met new friends, and let go of some old that didn't quite fit into the puzzle. I grew tremendously as an adult. And most importantly... I grew closer to God. Surely there were some hard times too, but it would be shameful of me to turn my back on 2013 and say I no longer have use for you now. As it has made me who I am to stand into the start of 2014.
Recently I was teaching a class filled with middle school students that are up against a lot in this world. We discussed the importance of goals, and self-esteem. My entire purpose of this lesson wasn't about "look in the mirror and tell yourself 5 great things about you", it was more about defining who you are, and that you and only you have the right to choose that. If you let the world decide, you are leading yourself into failure. There will always be nay sayers.
I shared with them my own examples in life. How a guidance counselor in high school told me I would never make it to college and I shouldn't bother applying (to his defense I was in fact a C student but I was a community activist and knew that I was more than my learning disabilities). How my high school social worker said I had not business being a social worker (I think this was said because I was doing more for the community as a high school student then she was as a hired social worker and it made her look a certain way). How a college professor pulled me aside and told me, "It must be nice you made it to college because you are white and cute. However honey white and cute won't cut it here. You should hire someone to translate your papers into proper English since I'm sure you have the money to do so".
The students gasped at the last one. They envisioned how hurt I was from such racial comments. That I must of felt so bad, and that it would've impacted me in a way that would've made me second guess my ability to succeed. They were surprised that it actually did the opposite. All of these stories fueled me. I refused to let ANYONE say I couldn't do something or be something. As my life was my own. I would decide that.
And so this C student that should've never went to college, become a social worker, and only did so because she was "white and cute"--proved them ALL wrong. Two decades later I hold two masters degree's with 4.0 averages, and I have already seen why my time of being such a passionate community activist in high school helped to make me an effective social worker.
The students asked me advice on how to overcome what other's deemed to be their limits. My advice was easy-- Be better. Do better. Take all those limited expectations others have for you and blow them out of the water. Use such negativity to fuel your fire towards the positive.
So this 2014 that is exactly what I plan to do. What I have always done. Be better. Do better. Using the previous years as stepping stones leading toward whatever I am ultimately meant to do in this world. While in between enjoying the children I was told I would never have, the friends I have made that truly support me, and loving the husband that always believed what I could do in this world is limitless.
Be better. Do Better.
It is that simple.
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