Recap Of And Exhausting Holiday Weekend

Thanksgiving, as you know, started with an ear infection. Although we had tasty food, and I was wishing I was wearing maternity pants already so that I could stuff more in my belly with the elastic band, it was a tiring day. First we scurried around the house trying to get everything in order to hit the road to Rhode Island, then we hit traffic, ate food, saw family, and then in ended with a 3am wake up call from the boy. Rylan has never in his 2 years of life woke up crying in the middle of the night since he was a newborn. We scooped him up and plopped him into our bed for the rest of the night, which meant no sleeping for me with a toddler that likes to hog the bed and ALWAYS be touching you. (I should also include my sister had an equally long night since my niece decided to wake up a number of times wailing too).

Needless to say it was the start of a very tiresome holiday weekend. I was excited to see the fam, and stay with my sister, but all that was looming in my head were the mountains of boxes still needing to be unpacked in my house.

Friday included a trip to the local urgent care for a script for Rylan, a family nap (a well needed one for all of us to stay sane), and some running around. We went off to fetch preggers me some 100% real lemonade that I can not get enough of! We drove by my mom's house and Rylan screamed "Grammy", and I was STUNNED. We haven't been in RI for months and my kid remembers where his grandparents live? What? So then we went to Grammy's where Rylan played with the cats, and the abundance of toys Grammy has since she has an at home daycare. The night ended with me sleeping early, and Pete going out all night with his Rhode Island friends.

Saturday we were heading home. Although I love spending time with my sister and family, I could not wait to get home. But OH NO our weekend wasn't over! We were first heading to Essex, CT for the Santa Train. It was great and everything, but instead of singing "jingle bells", I just wanted my pj's and bed. The night ended with a highlight: a hamburger at Chilli's for the 2nd night in a row! (also craving hamburgers)

And Sunday...we slept in until NOON. I WISH! It was snowing, and raining, and we had to head out with the rest of the Dos Santos family for a Christmas tree. We hike up a hill every year and cut it --but sadly our normal Candy Cane lane hill was CLOSED for the weather. We weren't the only crazies out in the cold--as hundreds were also cutting their tree down today too! They sent us to another area to cut it down and apparently most of the family was in a Bah-humbug mood--as some were giving others the silent treatment by the time we left (luckily I wasn't one of them). After nearly freezing our bums off, we went home to tackle some boxes, put the tree up, and look forward to another night of warm sleep in our bed.

And there you have it ...our long exhausting holiday weekend.
Pictures off all the fun filled times will follow!

Happy Turkey Day To ALL...And ALL A Good Night

We are off to Rhode Island today regardless of our new house in disarray, and a neglectful Mom that didn't take the right cues to get her kid into the Dr. soon enough before the holiday.

Yesterday was a long day. Rylan was off. He whined about everything, and refused a nap. I told everyone that would listen that he just wasn't being himself. They all responded with the same thing, "maybe it is the new house, and the change". Somehow I got sucked into half believing that, and went on with my day. Then 4:45pm happened. I was dropping Rylan off to my mother in laws so that Pete and I could finish our move. Rylan started a bloody nose, was whining, pulling his ear, felt warm, and fell asleep sitting up for the 2nd time today. I tried to call the pedi's office, but of course they were already closed for the holiday. So I brought him home and where I seduced him with a good shot of Motrin. Motrin saved the evening--as he suddenly was an entirely different kid.

This means instead of a Turkey coma this season, because lets face it my kid doesn't eat anything but hot dogs these days, he will be in a Motrin coma. We will have to re-evaluate the situation come Friday to see if we have to return to CT early for a Dr. check up. We have a jam packed weekend a head of us, and we just hope Rylan will be able to enjoy it.

Pete finished moving us fully by midnight last night. We have so much stuff that every room downstairs is wall to wall boxes. Such JOY to come home to! We have alot on your hands next week before we have friends coming in from Bermuda for a visit next weekend.

This weekend includes me eating a entire pumpkin pie on my own, spending time with my sister who Rylan calls "Kel Kel" and is extremely animated about seeing, catching up with my fam, going on the Santa train in Essex CT with the Dos Santos fam and "Kel Kel", and last...but not least...cutting down our tree on Sunday.

So our boxes won't be unpacked, but dang we will have a Christmas tree up!

Happy Holiday weekend everyone, and enjoy a Tryptophan induced night sleep tonight!

Holiday Season: Time for Giving...You may think..

I hesitated to write this blog in fear that people will not give to the needy after reading my story...please read this with the disclaimer, not all non-profits are this shady...just the one I happened to work for.

Back in 2001 I worked for a non-profit in Boston that served homeless teens. For the most part they really provided for these kids, and the kids really needed the service. However it was run, and founded by a nun that claimed to be "nonreligious" (which just sounds odd--she told me this when I gave her an angel for Christmas and she was appalled by it). This lovely sweet nun (this is my very hard sarcasm), ran this program like a abusive, dysfunctional family. I was hired as the supervisor for the counseling floor and was forced to scold a women that I supervised for taking to much time off for chemo (she was 28 with breast cancer), and was also asked to "out" a staff member who was seen at a gay club drinking by a client (um aren't there laws against this?). Everything I learned about ethics clearly leapt out the window at this job. The sweet nun also forced me to stay late and be janitor. That's right I had to clean two bathrooms clients used all day coming off the streets of Boston, and clean all the Staff members offices. One night I forgot two trash barrels, and found them both poured all over my desk the next day--a thanks from the big boss herself. After I cleaned off dirty socks someone wore for at least a month off my desk, I began a downward, unethical spiral. I starting losing hair, and couldn't properly go the bathroom for weeks because I was so on edge.

Then the holiday season hit. They are well known in the city of Boston. They had many many big businesses ask for "donations" for certain kids. You know the tree's that have a name, age, and sometimes a wish for something on it that you can pick for a donation---yeah that is what I was forced to make up. ALL OF IT. Names, ages, requests, --ALLLLLLLLL MADE UP. They got so many donations that they cleared out the 2nd floor of their building--7 offices, and a main room. Room 1 would be labeled 0-6 months, and down the line they went. They received so many donations that they were stacked up the the ceiling (and I am not even kidding). When Christmas came we were all aloud to pick only two gifts per client. As you can imagine there was PLENTY --and I mean HUGE ABUNDANCE left over--and what happened to that stuff--the staff was offered to "go shopping". So next time you are feeling the giving spirit please know where your donations are going so they don't end up in greedy staff members hands, or hanging up in a non-religious nuns house.

I left this job after 6 months. I am sure you can see why. When I resigned and told them why they became angry and very bitter. They escorted me to my office and made me leave right away without having any closure with the kids that have had people walk out of their lives so many times before. I resigned but was granted unemployment, because when I called the state to make complaints about the business, and even thought about suing them, they said they have gotten so many complaints and horror stories about this business, and it was looked at as a forced leave. To top it off the nun called a week later to ask if I would come in and finish my paperwork. I told her if she ever contacted me again she would be dealing with a lawyer.

There is a part two blog post coming from this story that is a silver lining. In the meantime....please be very careful about where your generosity goes. Sometimes people are not at all what they seem to be.

Are you looking for the blob?

There is none.
Meaning of course that:
A. the Dr. I had today (not my regular Dr) didn't give me a picture
B. The baby is no longer a blob but a BABY (yey chacee grew)

As I have said many times before, I love my Dr., but today I fell in love with this other Dr. too (regardless of the fact she jipped me a picture). My Dr. is super chillaxed--meaning she takes a quick look, tells me nothing about what she see's, and then hands me a picture and says "everything is fine". This Dr. today took a look, showed me the heartbeat, and then showed me where this retro placenta hemorrhage is in uterus. She then went on to explain that it was positioned to where she believes it is smaller, and assured me it wouldn't be an issue. She went on to tell me the placenta was high, the baby was growing, and she saw no worries, but I should be on pelvic rest. Pelvic rest? wtf?...My Dr. never mentioned staying away from nookie, or any other related bow chica bow bow. So this with new news to me! And now I have a get out of nookie free pass without a headache! The best part of the entire visit was not only Chacee looking like a real baby, and three times the size he/she was last week, the Dr. also made it move so I could see it kick. He/she kicked, and danced around, and I nearly melted right there in the stirrups. I was in love. Again.

It was a perfect gift for this time of year when you are counting your blessings. I am so blessed.

Cravings

Sour Cream and Onion potato chips
Lemonade (REAL lemonade)
meat and potatoes
Dunken Doughnuts egg and cheese croissants
pineapple

Loathing:
anything with tomato sauce in it or around it (included pizza)
Mac N Cheese (we have officially broken up for awhile)

These are all polar opposites of what I wanted with Rylan (except for the REAL lemonade). I am blessed to feel better and Have cravings--then eating saltines and ginger snaps after every meal.

More Chacee news to come--as I have my weekly ultrasound today :-)

Home: Now is where the heart is

So the move is what I was hoping would NOT happen...long, drawn out, tiring process...and we are not even finished. Our old place still have a room or two that needs to be cleaned out, and the new place has about 12,000 boxes that need to find a spot in the house.

The good news is the cable guy actually showed up today. However in the 8am-12om window he showed up at 11:45. He also had the wrong order and gave us the WRONG cable boxes--which means in the midst of our moving madness and traveling for Thanksgiving--I have to trek my butt to the local Comcast dealer and switch it up. I am telling you --every time I deal with this company something happens! I am waiting for the day ATT or Verizon comes into town to offer cable! UGH. On the good side of things is--at least the Internet is running and I can blog.

The house is great. We have a ton more space, and it seem to be a perfect fit. Of course as soon as we moved in we noticed somethings that are worry some---like the non-existent hot water in the shower. You have boiling hot water in there for about 2 min and 30 sec.s, and then brace yourself--ice cube worthy water. Forced to live with cold water to get the suds out of my hair--I cringe...we have to solve this problem ASAP! And so we are off for yet another repair on the house---a hot water heater! Lucky us.

Rylan slept here for the first time last night. He was so amazed when he first walked in and saw all of his stuff all over the new house. He kept saying "new house". We had to put him down in the nursery room where the crib is, since the big boy bed has yet to arrive. He slept like a baby. Today he was a bit weary about me leaving him in any room, besides his crib, by himself. I could have been the cable man with the big drill, or certainly the different surroundings.

It is good to be home. Regardless of ice cold showers, and everyone in the neighborhood being able to look through our house since we have no window coverings yet, it feels like home.

The Story Of My Life

Missing In Action

This weekend entails the mighty move take 2! (the last of the sequel for quite sometime)

In the move it includes shutting down and turning on cable, phone, and of course...the dreaded I can not live a day without it...Internet. So my dear friends...we will be MIA until cable guy comes on Monday! 

What I hope happens this weekend?

--the boxes unpack themselves

--nobody strains their backs too much

--Rylan doesn't get too weirded out in the new place

--nothing gets broken

--in the end I sigh and say "that was easy"

What I hope doesn't happen this weekend?

--my underwear falls out all over the ground and my best friends husband, my brother in law, Pete's cousin, and a friend, is forced to retrieve it all with looks of disgust

--One of the manly men think they can rest my entire bedroom set on their back and they are now having to be rushed to the ER

--I want to EAT and their is nothing in the house (spoken like a true preggers gal)

--Comcast calls and says they can't come and install the Internet for the next three weeks

--in the end I sigh and say "we are never moving again"

Things I have learned in the process are:

-I have too many shoes and handbags--I must purge

-It is good to clean out your medicine cabinet more then ever 5 years when you move

-Packing is hard to do with a two year that wants ALL of your attention

-I am going to miss this old place.... All of Rylan's firsts happened here. Luckily this home is owned by the family and will always be part of our lives. Also our neighbors are moving down here and we can come over and bother them so we can reminisce. 

Next time you see us...we will be living in the Blue's Clues House!

No More Origami Notes: 90's Teen Years Lost In Translation

In the midst of a conversation I was involved in on facebook with some girls from my junior high class...it got my noodle thinking. What ever happened to passing notes? Do teenagers still do this? Or am I just old?

I mean 90% of my teen years revolved around passing notes. I mean by 9th grade I was a master at the folding technique where you folded your note in a gazillion different ways to look like origami or the most smallest paper triangle in the world! And the passing it part...it was an art! I mean we all had those "living on the edge" moments when you were talking colorful language about the teacher trying to engage your attention and all you can do is write your BFF about how bad the teacher needs to get laid. Then you pass it two rows over, five rows back, in hopes that the teacher doesn't intercept it and momma gets a phone call later on! Ah the stress of note passing! Almost as "living on the edge" when I was in science class in 8th grade and we would all take turns slipping the word "orgasms" for "organisms" in order to gain a roar of laughter (yeah I am hoping Rylan turns into a total geek and nothing like his Mom as a teenager)!

Hey at least we were using our writing skills! I mean you don't want to send a letter "Do you like me? check yes or no", and spell something wrong!  Those special notes were almost as special as making mixed tapes for someone, or boys shaving girls names on their heads! Yes the 90's ---way to cool for school.

So since I don't currently know any teenagers to ask them if they still pass notes without looking like a total dork 30 something year old, I turned to the best teen knowledge I could find....90210. Since it has changed over time with me--as NOTHING seems to be the same from the 90210 when I was in college to now, except for Kelly's size, and Brenda's puss face, I figured this was a good start. What did I see? no note passing. LOTS of sidekicks with nasty grahams of "you stole my boyfriend you whore" and "meet me  in the bathroom for some naked tango lessons". There was also this one character that has instead of the infamous "slam book", had a slam blog. I thought...man if I was a teenager right now...I would TOTALLY own that. 

And there you have it people...just as our parents once said they walked to school bare foot in the snow for miles, I can say it my kid when he is a teen, once we actually USED a pencil and paper to express our thoughts to people. He will hoot and holla, and laugh off of his chair, as if it never existed. This will break my heart--because I loved note writing. It was one of my favorite little girl hobbies.

Blogging about Blob

Are you sick of a weekly ultrasound picture with my growing blob yet?
I can't help it! I waited too long for this Blob. This Blob keeps growing, and the Dr. keeps saying such wonderful things about little ChaChee (yes I named the baby in the belly Chachee for shits and giggles).

The Dr. asked me today, "So are we planning on a scheduled C-section, or are you going to try to be Wonder women and go for a VBAC so that I end up giving you a section again anyway". I smiled at her and said "VBAC? Hell to the NO." She laughed and said "I knew you were my type of lady--why go through labor if you don't need to". She then went on to tell me this VBAC horror story about some women she delivered the other night that spent 20 hours trying to progress, 5 hours of it pushing, and nada...and she ended up giving her a 2nd section. I told her "just give me drugs, clean up the mess you make, and hand me the clean baby, and you will continue to be my favorite Dr. of all times". I also told her I can do things natural, and GREEN, and hug a tree in other ways--giving birth --for me is not one of them.

She then stroked my mommy ego by telling me how great the baby is growing and doing. Last week she teased me by telling me it was my last ultra sound until my first trimester screening in December. Liar Liar pants on fire! She agreed to just one more before Thanksgiving so I can eat my turkey without worry!

After the Dr. meeting I had a nurse follow up meeting. She gave me a folder filled of crap about the hospital, breast feeding, natural child birth classes, and a list of "do nots" while preggers. The only useful crap I found this time round is the hospital info and the list, seeing as I am not only NOT going natural in child birth--I am going to be a 100% bottle feeder too (GASP--I know--how could I in this day and age...don't worry your pretty panties though--my kid will be just as smart as your breastfed kid). You probably think I am going to go outside and litter now right?...Don't worry I won't. I can't promise I still won't use plastic grocery bags though, they are perfect for harmful waste to the environment found in a two year olds diaper--believe me this is actually HELPING the environment.

The one thing that perplexed me was--lunch meat. Last time I was pregnant I heard rumblings about how you shouldn't eat lunch meat--yada yada yada. All Dr.'s, the Internet, and aunt Betty know it alls of the world, have something to say about anything and everything one should and should not do while preggers. Me--I stick to the list. In 2006 the list DID NOT have NO lunch meat on it. So while I have been recently craving Italian grinders, and sushi (NOT raw don't worry), I have been feasting on it. Today's--2008 list--NO LUNCH MEAT. Well shit. Now I have to cut ANOTHER thing I am craving out of the way. I was just getting used to cutting out Subways tuna! What happened to the good ol days when we were in utero and our parents Dr.'s list contained one thing: DO NOT USE CRACK. Now I am about down to eating twigs, and grass, (ok not really --but when someone tells you that you CAN'T have something--it sorta makes you want it more).

When I asked how to battle the nausea. The response I got was "did you try saltines and the wrist bands". Well holy shitz lady I never thought of that! Thank God she went to nursing school! Ok ok....I don't mean to sound so brutal...but I was pissed about lunch meat. Also quite frankly--where is the list of crap you can take to calm nausea all day and night--why isn't THAT on the 2008 list?

Where am I at today? My Blob is growing. It wants an Italian grinder with hot peppers, oil and vinegar, and I have to say "NO". My Blob is going to be born in a sterile surgical room by my favorite Dr. in the world, and I am 110% ok with that. My Blob will enjoy the nipple that won't bleed, that is attached to a bottle not a woman. My Blob ...still brings tears to my eyes when I think about the fact I even HAVE a Blob after all this time, and all this lunch meat.

Dreaming Of Being Preggers In NYC

Being pregnant has led me to a variety of interesting things like: odd dreams that seem so real, sensitive sense of smell, a stomach always "off", and lots of yawning and wishing for more time to sleep. One thing I just started this week was cravings! Last night Pete and I was watching Hero's on tivo and in the middle of  it I said "I really want a hot wiener with all the works". It sounds so odd from someone who has a constant stomach ache to want such things--but I DID!

Then today I woke up thinking: "I wish I was pregnant living in NYC, preferably back on the upper east side". Why you ask? Maybe for the amount of walking I would have to do which would keep a nice fit pregnancy? nah. Maybe for the best hospitals in the USA? nah. 

 

More like the likes of..

 Agata & Valentina 

and

Citarella

Pure--fantastic reasons to make babies in NYC. Gourmet grocery stores that I once loves and adored like old friends. 

Throughout my years in NYC I refused to live anywhere more then 5 blocks or 2 avenues from Agata & Valentine (THAT is how awesome this place is). It was a piece of Italy in my own neighborhood. My normal favs were fresh prosciutto sandwiches, homemade pesto sauce, fresh pasta, homemade chocolate mouse, and my personal favorite was something they called "chocolate decadence" which was like eating 5 pounds of butter, but tasted amazing with a great white wine. I also enjoyed finding the apricot juice I loved to drink in Milan there, and the mini yogurts that are French that tasted amazing, cost a fortune, and are only a spoon full per package. 

In my later years there I stumbled upon Citarella. I couldn't imagine anything ever beating the likes of Agata & Valentina, and quite frankly to me it didn't. However it was a different feel--instead of Italian gourmet, it was more of a everything gourmet. My absolute most favorite thing in this place is their turtle brownies (to this day I have yet to taste a brownie THAT good). I used to eat it bit by bit to sparingly save for a few days since one stinking brownie cost $5. I also loved to feast on their gourmet salads, Cajun catfish, arugula, and goat cheese tortillas, homemade soup, and AWESOME produce. 

I was in love with those two places. I not only miss the ability to eat anything and everything in either store and never gain pound, I also miss window shopping in there. There is nothing like it anywhere else, and I miss those old friends. I look forward to visiting Agata & Valentina next time I am in the city, and stocking a backpack of none perishable goods.

If I was pregnant in NYC I would be 100 pounds heavier. I would eat my way through that city stopping at all the best restaurants I miss dearly like Saigon Grille. I would fill my fridge with gourmet feasts that always include fresh everything. I would have one Jamba Juice a day, and end each night with Chocolate Decadence (minus the wine). It would be a holiday of YUM everyday. 

Ahh...a pregnant girl can dream.

The Good The Bad..The Moving Weekend Take 1

This weekend....ahh. It went by in about a minute for us Dos Santos'! 

The GOOD news is our dining room is 100% unpacked in the new house, and the kitchen 1/2 unpacked.

The BAD is the rest of our house STILL needs to be packed and moved.

The GOOD news is I purged all of my old lotions and EVEN the ol' nipple cream.

The BAD news is I have YET to convince my awesome husband that face wash he has had for 8 years isn't good for his skin, nor will it be any better in 2 more years when he finds it again in storage. The man is 5 times worse of a save whore then I am. Ask him about the 15 pounds worth of hotel toiletries we have in the closet! It isn't pretty! But I love him...regardless if his face turns red and has open sores all over it after he uses his oldie face wash. Regardless if it takes 15 years for him to use one hotel soap at a time, to rid that big ol' bag.

The GOOD news is Rylan has been tuning into alot of tv while we are running around like chickens with our heads cut off.

The BAD news is..he loves loves loves Barney (god help us).

The GOOD news is Pete found his beloved hand cream that he has been searching for just in time for the winter season that always seems to chap his hands.

The BAD news is the pregnant women very sensitive to smell, woke up last night thinking she would find her husband  in a Grateful dead shirt, smoking a bone, burning patchouli, and wearing Birkenstocks, because all I could smell was "hippy". When I asked him about it, it was his HEMP hand cream! 

The GOOD news is I was feeling high energy. 

The BAD news is I constantly still feel like a train wreck wrathed by a nasty case of the flu.

Only 28035 more boxes to pack.

Less then a week to go.

And wishing I was Dorthy able to click her heels and it be all over and comfortably be in my new home.

Save It! It's Crap!

Packing. UGH.

It is amazing how as the years pass by you accumulate more crap that you forget you even have until it is time to move it.

Packing isn't really the hard part. It is the part where you look around and think...I just spent three days working on one and a half rooms and I only have 8 more to go! I wish I didn't accumulate so much shit.

What would you find if you were helping me pack the way back of my cabinets that would make you go "hmmm"?

--old baby bottles that have been heated about 3000 times and are leaking of BPA but for some reason I have yet to be able to part with them

--ugly statues that various great ants had given for some special occasion and I just can't get myself to toss someones thoughtful gift--no matter how ugly.

--pictures of me with big Bon Jovi hair because who didn't in the early 90's?

--MUGS --UGH MUGS. I love the fact people think of us when they go to various sites all over the world and bring us back a mug--but how many can we actually have AND use?

--Nipple cream. Apparently I forgot to toss it after I was over the whole trying to breast feed thing.

--Too many candles --I could like the state of CT up if we had a black out.

--old makeup. Why do I save old make up?

...and so much more I could and should purge.

I wish I was a purger. However I was ALWAYS known to be a saver. My mom would find random candy wrappers in my room growing up, along with pics of studs from Teen Beat that I just couldn't part with. I always was someone with piles hidden, filled with stuff that could easily be trash. When I got married my mom informed me she cleaned out my closet and finally tossed my big ol' bag of every letter every boy ever wrote me since the 6th grade! YES I saved them ALL! 

Not much has changed. Sure I don't hold letters from boys hostage in my closet, nor do I save pictures of Corey Haim any longer....but I do save crap I don't need.

Today I am starting my purging revolution...first up to go: Old Nippled Cream.

Anyone out there a saver like me?

Slow Dos

Warning: the next two weeks could be painful.  We are knee deep in FINALLY moving into the Blues Clues House (for GOOD next weekend). Overwhelmed by boxes, packing tape, lots of messes, "to do" lists, shopping for curtains, and trying to stay happily married and a good parent while doing it!--The Dos Santos blog has been and will be taking some slow mo-jo while in transition. I will do my best for updates, but if you stagger on over here, and huff and puff about nothing to read--check out some of the blogs I read daily (they are listed on the left side of the screen). 

Rylan Is Fasting

I am not sure how a kid like Rylan could have grown inside a women like me. I LOVE LOVE LOVE food-even when I was a size 0! Food is a massive part of my life. Apparently the part that grew inside me--didn't gain this affinity--at ALL!

Rylan has always been a picky eater.  He is sensitive to textures, and always examines what you are handing him before letting it enter his mouth. Once it hits the mouth if it feels like anything different then his "usual", you can bet he will hand it back to you in a spit ball. 

His usual used to be a long host of different things. I still complained about it since I was still always making his a separate meal. Then suddenly he didn't even like 80% of the things he once ok'd!

Today Rylan eats at meals:

Kashsi Blueberry cereal 

dried cranberries

chocolate munchkins

certain pumpkin breads 

grilled cheese

cheese and crackers

hot dogs

Mac N Cheese (shells only)

Kielbasa (skin off)

french fries

McDonalds cheese burger

yogurt

AND THAT IS IT! (of course aside from snacks which he adores--he will eat gold fish, chex mix, cookies, and fruit snacks all day and all night if you let him)

You know something is wrong when I am sitting at the lunch table today begging him to eat his Mc Donald's cheeseburger and getting gitty over it--just because it is NOT a hot dog (which he eats almost every other day)

I know what you are thinking --send him to bed hungry--give him no snacks--I have TRIED the kid could care less!

Growing Baby

Tonight I had my follow up appointment and apparently things are going really well! The baby is measuring perfectly, and even shaved a few days off the due date already!  The Doc says things are looking a lot better and I go back again next week for another follow up!

Tis The Season...

...FOR FRIENDSHIP

AND HOLIDAY PJ'S

Doing It With A Friend...

...is always better.
Two to commiserate about morning sickness, back aches, and the last month of wishing the baby would come already.
Two to take the world by eating everything in sight (after all we will be eating for two!).
Two to get our first babies to adjust being older siblings (and most likely not fond of the idea).
Two of us having due dates within a week of each other--now that is GRAND! (except if she has her baby before mine:-) )
Two of us college friends, old roommates, each other bridesmaids,...excited to welcome our baby number 2 TOGETHER!
That is right people...
My dear friend Emily is knocked up too! And if you haven't checked out her blog you better go do so in order to catch a pictures of big sis wearing her "Big Sister" shirt. Go now--check out the Valentine blog!

I called Emily a few weeks ago. I told her that I had a secret to tell her. Since we are avid readers of each others blog I told her.."well..what I am NOT blogging about is.......I PREGNANT"...she responded a happy--"NO WAYYYYYYYYY"...and then she said, "well...what I am NOT blogging about is...I am Pregnant TOO!". Both of us happily stoked that we get to do it together.

Misery loves company--especially through the dragging "I feel so fat" preggers days!

I Gave In

I neglected to mention this past weekend not only did my son get his hand caught in the elevator at Gymboree, I gave into the massive desire burning within...and had a REAL cup of coffee (not a stinking decaf one). I can account of both scenarios as being a neglectful parent to both of my kids...but hey they both survived. Sure Rylan's hands were purple, I merely puked all over the floor as I tried to pull them out of the elevator doors while he screamed, but today at Gymboree he didn't dare touch the side of the doors, and his hand it working just fine. As for the coffee and the baby in the belly....well I am sure it was hyper for awhile, but is getting used to the idea of an occasional cup since I am sipping one right now.

Doesn't this make me sound like a bad ass--living on the edge type parent? not quite.

Motherhood has made me mush.

Just five minutes ago I was putting Rylan down for his afternoon nap. He is usually such an easy, willing, and happy sleeper. Lately when he goes down he yells out "GOOD NIGHT" and "I love you", to Pete and I to respond outside of his room so he knows we are there. So today, he did that, and I reassured him I was there, and it was time to sleep. Until he started to sob. My kid never ever in his two years of life has ever CRIED about going to bed. My first thought was "heart of steel Aimee--the kid has to sleep"...and then he started to sob and yell "mommy PLEASE UP". I went in and held him. I attempted to put him in a few more time and he spread all of his limbs out as far as they could go so that they wouldn't go down comfortably. Suddenly I was "making a deal". "ok, how about you have some apple juice and lay down watching Thomas for a bit. Then you have to go to bed". Rylan then said "Train. Apple Juice. Bed". It sounded like a verbal contract to me--but you never know with the Indian giver two year old what will happen when the boring Thomas video ends. I pray the steel heart comes back.

As I was sitting in the chair today getting about 14 vials of blood taken out of me for pregnancy related check ups, I started to think how this mushy heart starts here. I was sitting there dizzy, and the women asking me if I was ok about 100 times since I looked like I was about to pass out, and all I could think to get me through it was "for the baby--it's for the baby, I MUST get through it". The thing about motherhood is whatever the child's needs are, no matter how you would have responded prior to kids, you just do it.

Even when you are tough enough to pull your kids hand out of an elevator and not cry in front him even though you want too because he is in such pain, or you are taking so much blood out of you that you can not see correctly, it is hard not to give the little ones all of you. Letting them cry sometimes feels like your letting your heart break. Sipping a cup of coffee or eating tuna while pregnant makes you feel guilt because you know it is a "should have limited of"--and in a "good moms eyes" it should read "NO NO"--but you do it anyway.

Parenting. Sure wish it came with a guide book, instead it came with a bleeding heart and human flaws.

update: I put the heart of the steel on since the verbal contract went out the window. He is sleeping THANKFULLY after 15 minutes of screaming, sobbing, and yelling MOMMY! --As for the coffee--it settled my stomach...so heck that worked too today!

For New Parents: Top 5 Things Nobody Will Tell You

As per a request from a dear blog reader who doesn't know what to tell her first time pregnant friend...here are a few facts nobody ever mentioned to me before I gave birth!

1. That ol' saying that you forget about labor pains the moment you hold your baby is a fable NOT a fact. They say this because if they told you the truth ahead of time about how much pain having a baby entails for most (there are some beauchs who feel mild cramping and pop out a kid in less than an hour--but don't believe the hype--most likely that will not happen to you)..you would have never been so selfless in feeling like you are an animal on the brink of death just to pop out something that is going to keep you up all night for the next three months!

2. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BREASTFEED. Yes it is the cool thing to do now a days, and they do have such amazing pumps these day (sort of like what they use to milk cows at the diary farms--makes you feel HOT and SEXY--MOOOO) every book, every magazine, and almost every friend you know that has had kids in the past 5 years will probably tell you it is best for the baby, and it is a MUST. This is a lot of pressure for your two boobs to hold, and if you can not do it for various reasons, suddenly you feel like a failure, la leche is on your door step trying to give you tips about your own tits, and you have to surrender your little one to suffer by pouring synthetic teet milk (aka formula) down his or her throat. Here is the skinny....if you want to get a heads start on how breastfeeding will feel at first, here is how to simulate this affect. Step one: take out coarse sand paper and rub nipples until it bleeds, Step2: squeeze hard, or put your nip in the mouth of a vacuum for suckage...ok so it isn't THAT bad for most---but often it can be. If you try and you don't succeed YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. You baby will grow, be strong, and healthy on formula too!

3. You will now have a Mom body. This is one that NOBODY told me about and man was I pissed when this one came to be a reality. I seriously envisioned that the moment the kid popped out my body would deflate like a balloon and I would go baby to sexy pre-baby bod by the time I walked out of the hospital. Thank GOD I didn't pack my bikkini in the hospital bag, and instead packed some maternity wear "just in case". That cute size 4 you used to be, and revealing belly shirt skank wear--Never to be seen again (nor should a Mom be wearing skank wear). Even if you are one of the lucky ones to widdle back down to size 4 after baby--they won't fit like they used too. That baby pushed everything, everywhere, and it all headed north, south, east, AND west. If you are the average women, like myself. You will watch 2 years pass and STILL be trying to lose that baby weight, then suddenly you will be knocked up ready to add on some MORE. Pictures of you before having a baby will always stun you and you will always wonder if you will ever be that sexy again! Babies = sacrifice of body.

4. You just got home with your brand NEW baby--why are you crying buckets? HORMONES! They are a bitch! Don't automatically think you are going all Brooke Shields and need meds right away (although some of you might--and that is OK too--believe me I am ALL for meds if you need them). BUT...most women...if not ALL , get the weepy baby blues. When you have hormones evening out, no sleep, and the overwhelming feeling of you being 100% responsible for life...how can you NOT be weepy? It is ok. Call a friend that has already had a baby and tell them how you are feeling...believe me they will understand.

5. Pediatricians DO NOT know everything! Just like a general practitioner for adults --they are general practitioners for kids. This means they know a little bit about a lot of stuff. Sure they can diagnosis a ear infection in a flash....but reflux and colic...they are NOT experts. I learned this the HARD WAY. I was black listed early as that pain Mom calling all the time. Thank god I pressed on for specialist attention, meds, and more answers because all they wanted to tell me was my kid was a "happy spitter". A happy spitter that spewed BUCKETS (and I mean ALL of what he ate), screamed in pain, and even one day when he was three months old stopped breathing, turned blue, and needed to be revived by ME-ALL BECAUSE of sever REFLUX they wanted to say was just "happy spitting". Moral of the story--the only advocate your child has is YOU! Speak up--just because the pedi went through medical school, it doesn't mean they always know what is medically best for your child--YOU DO!

And there you have it! The honest to God truth in my eyes! Five things I wish someone told me before Rylan, but I now know for baby #2!

Moaning (and not the porn kind either)

In my haze between an ill stomach, and feeling like I am in the twilight zone thanks to exhaustion, I seem to be less "with it". 

I started my first day of subbing yesterday, and all I wanted to do is sleep. The excitement of  being in a classroom is already over. The good part is, I was able to sub in the preschool that I plan to send Rylan next year. It felt good to snoop around, and see what their program was all about. The a.m. three year olds blew my mind. I couldn't imagine Rylan doing what they were doing, and it was hard to swallow realizing my baby isn't really much of a baby anymore. I started getting anxiety already thinking about being away from him half a day, four days a week. I barely get through a few hours at MOPS every week when he is in the daycare. It sure will be a transition for this weepy Mom--but clearly it won't be the worse transition...clearly that will be the going back to work full time someday one! UGH.

I have spent months, and many posts, moaning about my missing career identity and yada yada yada. Frankly, I miss the classroom--MY OWN CLASSROOM, not someone elses that I am passing time in and babysitting (hopefully it will get better--but the good part is that it helps me stay home with my kid). As for the tutoring---total snoreville, but hoping that will get better too when I am done observing, and start doing--first Guinea pig comes this coming Monday! And if you see that blogger chick moaning about missing work...remind her of this post!

And here is what I really want to moan about tonight:

1. working has caused me to not be home almost every night this past week and I miss having Rylan and my husband all to myself at the dinner table.

2. crap goes bad when nobody uses it. (I am talking food). I had a good ol' cry today when I looked in the fridge and the big ol hunk of meat I had plans to make such great things with was gonezo! Why? because I had no F'n time this week to cook Shitz--I literally cooked ONE meal this week. I am living off of frozen or take out, while my boys eat my mother in laws cooking (which don't tell her--but that ain't no prize neither). I love to cook. I miss it.

3. I look like a 13 yr old girl with hormone issues because I have pizza pie face. Pete keeps reminding me of my "third" eyes all over my face. 

4. I have no time to schedule my blood tests for the baby in the belly this week. I have no time to get re-finger printed for the other job. I have no time. And my eyebrows need some loven...and I have no time.

5. I must quit. Ok maybe not quit. But I at least need to get a normal rotating schedule that I can feel like I have a grip on my life with.

And there you have it people...my moan fest....a woman's work is never done. EVER

Now Taking Advice

The difference between this pregnancy and the one I had before is: sickness. ALL DAY ALL NIGHT (worse at night). I feel like I have the flu 24/7, and I have yet to have a night I don't wake up in the middle of the night feeling completely ill. 

I also top it off with horrible exhaustion. I was tired with Rylan in my belly too--but somehow I was able to function, work, and be ME! Right now I can not. I am yawning all day, and I have to take a nap when Rylan naps or I am a mess by the end of it. 

Both symptoms  I remind myself to be grateful for, as I am sure God has blessed me with every symptom ever made for pregnancy as a way to calm my worried little heart. However not being able to walk from the sofa to the kitchen, or getting into the car, without totally devoting all energy---STINKS. I am becoming a horrible mom to Rylan, unable to play and entertain him as I once was. I know it is only temporary, but it still makes me upset. 

And here I am. Starting two new jobs. Sadly the subbing job I start tomorrow doesn't include a NAP! Luckily the tutoring job is only two hours at night and near a restroom.

Does ANYONE out there have any words of wisdom, tricks up their sleeve to rid the hormonal sickness, or advice?

The one thing I have found and LOVE LOVE LOVE for nausea is Preggie Pops. I am thankful to those that made such yummy and natural working little candies!

A Story I Have Been Waiting To Tell You

I envisioned this post since I was sitting in the bathroom with a positive test and sobbing weeks ago. I could not wait to shout it from the mountain tops, but fearful, I kept it hidden within. Here I was pregnant. PREGNANT. 

The day before I sat with a clear two lines on the stick, I had talked with someone about surrendering to the fertility Gods, and going to the "BIG GUNS" (aka fertility specialist). I was convinced that aunt that I hate seeing every month would appear a visitor the next day. I was crampy and miserable. Bummed out that I had tried so hard this month with daily temperatures, and ovulation kits, I thought it was silly when I decided to take a test. Who would have thought it would be positive a year after my miscarriage almost to the DAY? Who would have thought this would now be the THIRD pregnancy I conceived in the SAME month every year--while the rest of the year was completely filled with failed attempts, and money spent on many --MANY negative tests? As I sobbed about this miracle, this blessing, the immense gift,...I could not help to notice the sting of worry that started to settle inside me, and the growing anxiety of me pleading to God to PLEASE let this one "stick". So I rubbed my belly that much more, I swore off caffeine (YES I have had NO caffeine in 4 weeks), I started taking DHA tablets like I was popping candy, ate Salmon as a main staple, got blood work done right away, and tried to avoid heavy lifting (besides the two year old of course).

I found out this news days before boarding a plane to Florida. I was about to spend a few weeks in the same house I did a year ago, and while their, lost my last pregnancy. It was a journey I had never imagined to be replayed out the same way, but with a very different ending. I could not wait for that vacation to be over. Everyday that passed I felt relief, and on the plane ride home I felt a victory. However the worry was still there.

This past weekend marked 7 weeks. I started spotting a bit and I became struck with fear. Luckily I was having my first ultra sound in a few days and just had to get through it until then. I did my best to kick my feet up, think happy thoughts, but getting through my first night on a new job, and focus on trying to be a good mom to Rylan was a hurdle.

Last night before voting on the most defining election day I have yet to live, I finally saw the baby's heart beat. He/She was the right size, and looked to be doing well. The downside was there was a reason I was experience spotting. The Dr. told me I have what they call a "retro placenta" in my uterus. She told me sternly, "It is nothing to worry about", as she is very well aware of this worry wort. Basically it is a blood clot between the wall and the placenta that formed probably at implantation. Although she predicts it to not be an issue, she said she would still like to monitor it until 11 weeks. This means I will be getting an ultrasound weekly until then which is PERFECT for a nervous nelly like me. I have full confidence in my Dr's word, however I can still no shake the worry wort, and probably won't until the day this child is born.

On a day I woke up feeling overwhelmed by emotion that history was made in our country last night, and because of it, my children's world will be a better place. I am here writing all of you to let you know, I can finally buy the Carter's "big brother" t-shirt, that there is hope for all of you out there struggling with fertility, and last but not least....there is life after miscarriage. Life I hold inside me. Life that I now have a picture of that Rylan holds in his little chunky hands and innocently tells me, "baby".

A Picture Worth A Thousand Words

Just about 8 weeks and counting! Now you all know why I have been missing in action--I have a hard time keeping such a GREAT secret!

Dear Day Light Savings

I was always told to start a letter with the positive, so here it goes:

I applaud you for defining the seasons for us. Nothing says summer like it being 8pm and it still light outside, or Winter when it is 5pm and starting to get dark. I know your clock work has a boss called mother nature, and that there is very little you can do to change such events...but please...dear light savings...can you send my kid the memo.

I am not sure how you tell a toddler about time change. I am even more unsure of how to convince a two year old that is awake at 6am and thinks it is 7am, that he should go BACK TO SLEEP for an hour. Dear lord, day light savings is killing me!

It doesn't really matter if we are falling behind, or springing ahead, regardless it messes with a kids routine. When you mess with a kids routine you mess with parents sanity, and believe me this is NOT a good thing. I mean how long can we go waking up to the crack of dawn, and spending 3-4 hours in the house trying to find something--ANYTHING to do since nothing is open at this time of day? And the icing on this day light savings cake....when the clock says it is time to go to bed you would think he would be READY since in his little head we are an hour ahead...not a chance. Can't anyone get any sleep in the house?

Please send my child the memo in the Spring spoken in toddler that such events will occur and that HE MUST adjust, and QUICKLY!

Sincerely,

concerned, sleepy parent

Trick Or Treating With A Stomach Bug

Where have I been? You may be wondering....sick as a dog. The entire family was plagued with a stomach virus the past few days--and I happen to be the lucky one to get it just in time for trick or treating!  It certainly made the evening less then thrilling since I : A. had no interest in eating candy and B. had to cut the night short.

We ventured down to our new neighborhood to enjoy the festivities. Our new hood is like Sesame Street. Everyone knows everyone, and everyone takes such holidays VERY serious. Just to give you a quick idea on what we are moving into, one family had a table set up which included mulled cider for adults, and full size candy bars, another family had an elaborate haunted house out of their garage. Clearly I am already lacking in this department as we didn't even buy a pumpkin this year--never mind carve one out! Apparently this is the last year I will be able to get away with such matters! Next weekend Pete and I were invited to our first cocktail party at mulled ciders house, and it is then I will have to fight the New Yorker in me and get rid of the anti-social chip on my shoulder! 

The night ended with NO trick or treaters at our house (good thing because all we were handing out were stomach bug germs), and early to bed for all. Rylan is still asking to put on "cow" and when he sees pictures enjoys "moo'ing" at himself. He certainly enjoyed Halloween this year...his mom...could have passed on the entire deal.

Rylan and his friend Ashley (his yearly trick or treating partner)

A giggling cow
We saw Rylans friend Noah on the way
This is our new neighborhood that we will have to compete with next year
Trick or treating with Dad
Rylan and His neighbor Sophia (AKA Belle)
Swinging Cattle