Conference 411

Blogher has been part of my life for about three years now. When I stumbled upon their site and decided to apply to host their ads, I didn't do so with money signs in my eyes, as much as being part of something that defined me. B L O G G E R. Sure I am happy to get a check in the mail that covers a grocery bill every now and then, but feeling like you are part of a larger community that does something that you love just sounded so fantastic.

I always dreamed of making it to their conferences. I envisioned hugging, crying, and oohing and ahhing over each other, rainbows, puppy dogs, and endless amounts of defining who I am. I just thought this blogging thing connected us, and that it didn't matter if I ever met you before in person, I have read your blog, you read mine, and this made instant friendship and oneness. I seriously thought the conference would end with Kumby-ya's and weeping after it closed.

Well it such closed, I'm not weeping, infact I even left the Keynote closing speakers out of pure boredom and thinking my husband was right. (yes Pete, I love you, and you are RIGHT) He told me when I signed up that it was going to be like a big "View", and have panels of women talking a lot about nothing, just to hear themselves speak. Sure he was wrong with some (like this mornings international bloggers who spoke about their blogs in the line of activism and how it is pointing their lives on the line), but an entire sum of others was just that.

I left sessions. A LOT of sessions. In fact I only stayed for one particular session that I loved and finally "defined me" and made me want to sing Kumby-ya. It was naturally tiled "Little Fish Big Pond". The other sessions I went in, barely were worth $5 never mind $99 a day. It made me sick that most of them were surrounded by how to make the big bucks and bring in the traffic. Blogging for me isn't about that. It is about my voice, and as one women put it, thinking about one person you want as your audience. In my audience it is ME, and the rest I am blessed with. Also the community it raises and the sense of togetherness that I normally feel via the internet, but not at BlogHer'10. It was only at this session I actually felt like I belonged, and I think this happened because a) BlogHer forgot about us small fish and b) they totally fudged up the speed dating, and didn't inform us about where the flock lunch was, so that sense of "getting to know you" went out the window. I think this is key, and sets the tone to the conference, and it stinks that they dropped the ball.

The sessions were also so impersonal. I was so sick of seeing lined rows of seats instead of round tables to plug into and having hands on experience. I just wanted to feel less like I was in a lecture hall at a major university, to more of a hometown college classroom feel of feeling like I mattered and wasn't just a number.

Honestly, as this day closes, and I am totally excited to go to the Cheeseburger party tonight, I am unsure if I will ever return to this conference again. The swag is sweet, the getaway with the ladies is great (especially my two roomies Emily's blog has some good pics of our good times), and parts of the conference worthy, but it is a take it or leave it. And right now, I am leaving it.